Sunday, April 26, 2009

Lifting my gaze out of my navel ;-)


Until recently, something has been missing here: a blogroll. Props for my peeps. I've been preoccupied with gazing at my navel for a while, so y'all have my apologies.
To rectify this oversight, I'm putting links to members of my posse - cyber and RL - on ze blog. This list will evolve over time.

I'm seeing two sections...
The first will be of badges that will take you to my friends' sites.
The second will be simple word-links. The Blog-Squad, if you will ;-)

So watch this space to meet more of my kewl friendz...

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Spiral Healingway

Thus and so: a full lunar cycle of sitting with pain and working with it and releasing it.
I am advised by other sources that the energies swirling around these days are conducive to bringing up "old stuff" for transformation and transition. I never would have guessed! ;-)

I know that it's rare to heal something once and then you're done. Some of our wounds run deep, through all of our layers. As we move along the spiral path of this Great Mystery we call life, we will come back to the wounds, in different places, at different levels. Each time, we can work with this energy to release what no longer serves us, and keep the treasures that may have been hidden in Shadow. The more often we accept the invitation to process, the smaller and fewer the Shadows become. Will they ever go away entirely? I'm not sure; ask me again in, oh, seventy years or so. I may have an answer by that time. (lol)

Days like the ones that have just ended help me remember this fact, when I forget, and think "all" of my Work is done. ;-) Ha.
More and more, I suspect some of us have come to this lifetime with very long "honey-do" lists, because there's stuff that needs to be taken care of, for good and all, THIS time around the block!

In releasing the Judge, I remember that there needs to be a Victim for the Judge to bully and oppress and, well, judge. She is me, and I am a part of the collective SHE that has been, and is still very much being, Judged. In ending this cycle, I held my Victim close, tenderly, reassuring her that all shall be well...that all IS well, right here, right now.
To that end, I was drawn to a new moon concert in Carlsbad - the one I've been Twittering about. (scan ze Clouds in the Sky if you're confused) I experienced healing of/for the Victim in a very unexpected, and very sensual way. Who'da thunk that "mere soundwaves" could arouse one in such a deep and primal manner?
I will simply say that once again, I'm glad that I'm a woman this time around - had I been a man, the healing journey would have been rather obvious to the casual observer! (lol)
I left feeling unexpectedly full. A hunger had been satiated, an empty space filled...and a direction clarified.
Baby is ready to tango, now... ;-)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Working with the Stone People

or, why this woman seems to be so obsessed with rocks. ;-)

Although I've been drawn to rocks for most of my life, it's only been in the past decade that I've actually been working with them. Most of the time, a rock will catch my eye. I will pick it up. I will ask it if it wants to come with me. (This is a key point many people miss!) I only take it with me if it says yes.
Various rocks form a medicine wheel on a table in my patio. I have arranged some of them by shape: long thin rocks for Air, triangular rocks for Fire, very round rocks for Water, and square ones for Earth. There is a circle in the center of the wheel where the sacred stones lie.

I also work with semiprecious stones - which is why it's dangerous for me to walk into a metaphysical store. (Would you believe I once spent over $100 on a bunch of stones? 50 cents here, a dollar can really add up! lol) I will mix and match them for clients & friends in little juju bundles. I have found that when I buy stones from the store, they are "sleeping" and need to be "awakened" to provide the optimum effect for my clients. Singing does the trick nicely.

Often I forget what the stone is, or I will look at one and have no idea what it is. I have lovely books which offer suggestions as to what a given stone is, which are accurate more often than not. One stone, however, refused to be identified until I made a deal with it: I will tell you my secrets if you agree to keep me. Since then I've pegged it as a brown jasper. Its name is Kyotai and it loves to work with Jajava, my citrine. Yes, some of the stones have actual names. I'm sure they all do; I just haven't gotten around to asking all of them yet. ;-)

Now the Stone People are teaching me a new lesson: knowing when to Let Go.
In January, I gifted a small rose quartz to one of my fellow retreators when he expressed interest in it. This past weekend, I gifted my Mothers' Stone, a larger rose quartz, to a new retreat center that is coming into existence. I was surprised, and a bit sad - but I know if I'm meant to do further work with the rose quartz, a new Mothers' Stone will come to me. The little one has already "returned" in a new form. :-)

I am also beginning to "weave webs" with rocks: taking a rock from one place and putting it in another place, as I am advised. Often there is a return connection. The Ambassador, the rock I retrieved from the SRF gardens recently, will be accompanying me into the desert come October, should I head in that direction. In return, a rock from the desert will be returning with me to be placed in the SRF garden...after I ask nicely, of course.

There are several "emissarial" rocks on my altar, bound for points hither and yon. They are supporting my Work now, as I shall support their Work later. They, too, number among my relations...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Interesting choice of words

...when I said it was "bloody marvelous" co-creating with the Universe, I didn't realize I was being literal!

I'm back in the moon lodge. :-o
This would be twice in a three-week span.

I've had issues in the past with a wacked-out endocrine system, so I was concerned at first.
Self-Dowsing with the pendulum, however, showed that all is kosher. (BIG sigh of relief!)
And I'm taking into account all of the shape-shifting that I've done these past few weeks, along with the timing of said shape-shifting.

Now, I'm letting it slide, and letting myself be cleansed by the flow of the river.
Will be keeping an eye on this to make sure it doesn't get too ridiculous, however...
If I had my way, I'd prefer to keep artificial hormones out of this. I am a pragmatist, though, and if I absolutely need the support they give me, then I will take it, for my remaining days of flowing.
Meanwhile, I observe it all, the dreams and the feelings and the tapping as needed, as I purify & cleanse, release and heal...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

...and out the other side :-)

The Universe knows exactly what I need, when I need it, and when it's a co-creation, it's bloody marvelous...!

I entered into serious healing Thursday past - first with my wonderful intuitive masseuse, then with a little full moon drumming. (Intense energy during a full moon in Aries? You don't say! lol) These two ceremonies combined powerfully to dissolve the energy blockage within me, enough so that the next evening, all I had to do was a little clean up duty and the deed was done, without needing to cut away anything! :-D

Friday and Saturday were soft open days ~ gentle and vulnerable and tender days. And here comes another gift: another e-course to take, at a VERY reasonable price, for Transformation! (Deep felicitous thanks to SARK for this!) That will start in a week, just after I get back from a Blessingway ceremony that is going to happen that weekend. More felicities and synchronicities!

Complete healing; Healing complete.
Lather, rinse, repeat!

Then just today I witnessed and participated in a lovely transformative Initiation. Not on me, but for one of my sister-priestesses. She will not be the same from this day forward. Nor will any of us, for that matter.

I think I've returned to utter fabulousness. Once again, Life IS Good. :-)

Friday, April 10, 2009

Six things that make me happy :-D

And now for something completely different...

Since an open invite went out to compose and share these lists, here are six things that make me happy and/or produce warm fuzzies within me. Ahem:
~The smell of woodsmoke from a bonfire. Calming, centering, possibly aphrodisiacal. ;-)
~Looking for rainbows on a day of clouds and sun.
~Sitting at the beach, reading a book - or maybe doing absolutely nothing.
~Trader Joe's & Henry's & Jimbos. Enlightened food to be had on the quick!
~Drumming with other succulent souls, blending our unique rhythms into one universal beat.
~Creating art, just for me.

And there you are. :-)

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

And so I arrive, here...

This is not a path for everyone. This is the path I choose to walk.

From full moon to new, I have let it be. I have felt the shifts in my body.
And I arrive at this place...a little pocket of, oh call it pain, why not? - beneath my left breast.

In it is Contempt. Self-Loathing.
In it is the belief that I am a liar and a fraud and a hypocrite.
In it is condescending disgust towards being able to talk the talk, but not to walk the walk.
Huge Judgment.
"Stop pretending to be what you obviously aren't!" it whispers insidiously in my soul...

And for a brief moment, I believe the bullshit.
Then I remember: it is illusion.
Then I realize: it has been put here, to keep me keep me away from blending Darkness and Light, because who knows what will happen then, right?
This has been done For Your Own the message I have received.
Pardon me while I laugh hysterically in the face of the Shadow-Matrix.

You no longer serve me, little Shadow.
Now I prepare, to remove you from my life.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

storefront dreamin'...

While making a quick Kinko's run today, I happened to notice a vacant building for rent.
When I notice these vacancies, something stirs within me - and it's not sadness.
It's a little dream that says, I'll be there, someday.

This dream has shape-shifted a few times over the years.
First it was going to be a metaphysical store. Then a tea house.
Now I can look into one of these vacancies and see several healers there, offering our services: massage. hypnotherapy. readings. previous life tracking. reiki. yoga. and many other things.

I have yet to pick up the phone and call any of the numbers that are on the little posters. You know, for the real estate agents. It would definitely need to be a "we" thing at this point - but I can happily be a part of a "we," a group of Lightworkers doing what we love and receiving support in return.

Right now, I'm content to keep this dream percolating, as I glide forward, by degrees, and solidify myself as a metaphysicist, if you will. ;-)
I'll be there. Someday.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

"she entered her blue period..." ;-)

Yup, changing up the look of the blog, again.
The brown had gotten a bit too "meh" for me - and it wasn't sitting well with me anymore.

I'm changing over a LOT of my online stuff to blue.
My page on the Ning site is blue, too.
(Haven't been yet? Check us out! My cat will take you there...)

Changing up stuff here mirrors some restlessness I feel within, at this moment. Divine Discontent, mayhap.
The wanting to grow and expand and move forward is there; yet here sitteth resistance as well.
Yup, still sitting with it. Usually takes a whole lunar cycle for me to work through stuff, and I'm not even at the halfway point yet. And then there's the Diva within going, "OMG, we're not getting anything done, we're falling sooo far behind - we need action! NOW!"
Um, whose timetable are you working off, lovie?

Perhaps this is the paradox, now: my need to be still and silent and nested vs. my need to get out and BE the Priestess of the World. Virgo domesticity vs. Scorpio ambition.
My moon is in Virgo and I have Scorpio rising...nuff said! (lol)
Isn't that what being a Libra is all about, though - balancing?

I guess it all comes down to this: I'm still a bit off in my equilibrium and I haven't found a new fulcrum point yet.
Gentleness, I remind myself. Gentleness.
And send the monkey mind to Tahiti for some chillaxin!
In the end, I'll need to feel my way through, rather than think my way through.

Never said tending the garden of dreams would be easy, eh? ;-)