Friday, January 23, 2009

Yup, that's me!

You've seen the recent addition of a picture to the left by now.
That's me. :-)

The pic is from my trip Down Under in February & March, 2007. It was late summer/early fall in Oz, so I didn't need many heavy and bulky clothes.
Yes, I'm in my cat's pajamas (lol), and caught in mid-journal. I think I was explaining about just how much I journal IRL when the pic was taken.
The lime green band around my left wrist was from one of several giftie bags I received. It said "Freedom" on it. Entirely appropriate, since I'd just left my job at the synagogue and had begun the next phase of my journey! :-)

Today, the hair and the glasses look a little different, but everything else looks pretty much the same.
C'est moi. Nice to "meet" y'all at last. ;-)

Monday, January 19, 2009

ebb tide

Today is an introverted day.
A day to hold myself gently in sacred space.
A day to be still (well, as still as possible on a workday) and let things percolate quietly within...

I am now a part of a e-community of Divinely-Inspired Creatrices that has arisen, drawn to gather by the siren song of one of my Net-friends. You can find her here: It is the first of six weeks we're going to be "officially" together, and my latest Creation is just about ready to push through the surface of my awareness - but not just yet. Patience, as it germinates in my fertile primal mind...

I am also in the middle of a purge. I'm finally tackling the storage shed in ze patio! :-)
Already I have released what no longer serves me: old newsletters about professional wrestling. The thrill is gone, and I don't resonate with this most enduring quirk of pop culture. The high-profile tragedy involving the family of Chris Benoit was the start, but it was the callous reaction of the owner of World Wresting Entertainment - all but daring Congress to come and investigate his company, rather than taking a hard deep look at what was wrong within it! - that killed my appetite for good. At any rate, the newsletters are now in the recycling bin, and I have a bit more space to do some shapeshifting in the shed.

A lot of my appetites are changing right now, in food, in music, in television - in Everything. The Change wrought within me to start the (muggle) New Year is rearranging my life around me.
So today I pause in the doing and take some time to be.
The tide will come back in again. It always does.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Shaken, and Stirred.

When I said I was going to kick off the New Year with a bang, Boy Howdy I wasn't kidding!

Conscious Convergence was beyond awesome.
I was turned inside out and upside down.
I was real and raw, tapping into parts of myself which have lain dormant for nearly two decades.
I revealed my most Authentic Self, stood naked before others (figuratively speaking!), and was held in complete acceptance, without judgment.
I gained the courage to articulate my needs, as they arose - and had my needs met, almost every time. The "almost" is significant...for I felt a very basic need that was not met, yet in the end, it was most likely for the best, considering all the signs I received post-retreat! :-o

When all was said and done, the most critical item on the agenda, the one I had no idea about, was fulfilled: I achieved Integration.
The spiritual and the material, the child and the parent - even the virgin and the whore! - all came together in the center of my be*ing and I left the wild, lush, green land Whole, totally and irrevocably Whole!
And with the knowledge that I'm definitely bisexual, at least! ;-)

The first stage of my return to the "real" world came when I spent a couple of days with g-flirt, my sistah from anothah mothah, in San Francisco. Although I didn't wander very far from her homestead (alas, Chinatown will have to abide till another day. fortunately it's not going anywhere.), I was surprised and relieved to find that it was my father's San Francisco again, full of magick and mystery and mirth! :-)
The closest I made it to my Asian vibration was the Asian Museum. I actually had to ground myself midway through the main exhibit, for I was carrying so much energy, I was starting to spark; had I not grounded, I probably would have passed out just as I reached the Japan section!

The flight home was an interesting synchronicity. I happened to gather a couple of seatmates, also from the San Diego area (!) and we wound up having a lengthy conversation (!!) A shout out to my new friends, Miss J. and Miss T., if they run across this blog! ;-)
Then I got home.
And there was a significant difference in the energy levels, which was exasperated by the appearance of my mother's friend, who shall be referred to from here on out as "the black hole." True to her m.o., she sucked the energy and life out of our house. It got so bad that I had to hole up in my room and nap for a while! The fact that my gastro-intestinal system abruptly decided to rebel against the pad thai that I'd had for dinner when I'd gotten home did not help the situation! :-p

See, when I was at the retreat, most all that I ate was raw food. All of it was organic. Stepping out of that culinary frequency proved to be a bit too much for la bod, and she made her point. So I see myself choosing what to eat more carefully - a process that started in San Francisco. I've been looking for an excuse to shape up my dietary intake, and I believe I've found just the thing! :-)

My digestive system has settled down, now, so I'm ready to make these switches whole hog.
And I'm also beginning another cycle of going through my material possessions, finding that which no longer serves me, and giving it away. So while Mercury is in retrograde, I've got some "internal" work to occupy me for the rest of the month.
Come February, though, I'm most definitely "getting jiggy wif it," as Mister Will would say. ;-)