Sunday, April 29, 2007

Lessons & Checking In

Here are some of the things I am learning during my "sabbatical" from the muggle world:

~I need to practice patience to allow the dreams to unfold on their own.
~...But all the patience in the world means diddly-squat without action to back it up.
~I come to acknowldege: I need some structure in my life. Otherwise, the temptation to do "nothing" becomes very great.
~That said, this unstructured fallow time has been just what my soul has needed to release the Time-Anxiety I'd been carrying around.

~I have much more stuff than I actually need, or use regularly.
~Some of the stuff is easy to release; other stuff is very difficult, if not impossible (right not) to let go of. Case in point: I can clean out my closets, kitchen cupboards, bookshelves, etc. without a problem. But the thought of clearing out my storage shed - which currently houses my model horse collection, among other things - makes my stomach contract in near hysterical anxiety. :-(

~I am "reviewing" the concept of boundaries, and what constitutes healthy boundaries. I am becoming more assured about saying yes to some things, and no to other things.

~I am not "wandering around the clock" as I thought I would. Once, I thought if I didn't have to go to work, I'd go to bed whenever I felt like it, and awaken again whenever I felt like it. Nope - I'm still keeping regular waking and sleeping hours...just later than I did when I was working regularly.
~And on that note, I seem to have weaned myself away from needing an alarm to wake me up! I tell myself I need to awaken at a certain time - and lo! I rise and shine at that time, if not a few minutes earlier! :-D

~I am more conscious about how I'm spending my money. I find I don't really need to eat out once a week. I find myself waiting to buy things, like music CD's, until after I return to the state of steady income. I'm also becoming more selective at which metaphysical events I'm attending - the cheaper, the better.
~The Universe is stepping in to assist me in some cases: when I really want to attend something, I am shown a low/no cost way to attend. :-D

As spring shifts into summer, so the gentle resting time begins to yield to a more active creative time. I am planning on stepping up my job searching so I can get that part-time job and not have to return to full-time hours. That's the one bad thing about temp work: the assignments may be only a week or two in length, but the hours would take up most all of the day.
I'm also going to be concentrating on what Spiritual things I can offer, besides the Songs, and see if I can't get something organized Sooner, instead of Later.
Just need to remember to keep spots open for down-time, and fun-time... ;-)

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Field Notes

Time to hie my way back here and update a few things for the peeps who might actually be reading this... ;-)

The job hunt has been going steady this month. The Universe presents me with many possibilities to choose from! :-D

I'm holding out for a part-time job. I want the consistent income, yes, but I also want to keep some of this bounty of time that I have received. Now, if a full-time job comes along that is very close to home, I'll seriously consider taking it. I want to avoid "insane" commuting if at all possible.

Initially, I was avoiding answering any ads asking for "Accounting" or "Bookkeeping." I'd had enough of that Secret Society and was ready to move on. As I've gone farther into the hunt, I've realized, well, it is a part of my skillset - and if an ideal job comes my way that involves that skillset, I'd be a fool not to try for it! So I open myself up to these possibilities as well.

Meantime, I've put my business cards into full effect. I rarely miss an opportunity to hand one out. ;-) They have been an excellent investment, as they stimulate conversation and plant the seeds of possibility in people's minds. When the time comes for someone who can help out with that necessary spiritual work...

I'm also getting close to finding a place to record my first CD! :-D Just need to wait for a few things to fall into place first (like the consistent income!) and then I'll be ready to go.

I've also been writing like a fiend - getting some of the Channeled Information out of my head and onto paper! Now, I am only concerned with writing it down; later, I can massage it a little so that it's more easily read and understood. Messages from the Collective, or wherever else, are rarely grammatically correct as they come through. ;-)

(So, I've come back and finished the entry. Later I'll get into some other things...)

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

The Holy 2x4 of Enlightenment

...has struck me smack between the eyes. Hard.

I thought the amount of money my mother receives every month would be sufficient enough to support me as I launched my dream spiritual career. There are two problems with that hypothesis:
One, I haven't done a lot of movement on the dream career front. Sure, I have cool new business cards, and some excellent resources at my fingertips, and there has been some actual movement forward in this dream. But it's taking its time coming together - and quite frankly, I haven't put a lot of effort into rapid realization. I've been creating like crazy, yes...but nothing directed out into the world, or concerning my place in it.
Two, and more importantly, I sat down with the numbers recently. I had intended to prove my mother wrong, that we had sufficient funds and nothing to worry about. No matter how much I massaged the numbers, though, I couldn't make my case. She was right - numbers don't lie.

So, as of today, I begin the job hunt. Something nice and part-time, so I can get a little regular income while I put effort into my dream spiritual career, and allow it to grow and bear fruit. In truth, I was expecting a month-old sapling to produce the kind of crop a healthy years-old fruit tree would, Right Now.

The old ego took this realization really hard.
Before, she was convinced that I simply needed to voice my request to the Universe, then sit back and wait. Next morning, voila! Instant shiny happy life! The Universe provides to those who are worthy, right?
After, she was convinced my dreams would never see the light of day. I had lost the battle and would become another hopless drone in the Matrix. Then she went down in flames. Denial is truly de river that flows through Africa. ;-)

Once the sting of the Holy 2x4 had faded, I checked in with myself:
The dreams are just fine, thank you. I simply need to give them some time and room to grow.
And figure out what is still so hesitant to move forward in a spiritual direction...