Friday, April 30, 2010

Anticipating Summer's GROWTH!

It really wasn't that long ago that I felt like I was floating in the Void before Creation, waiting for something to nudge me in a direction, any direction. Well, now I'm significantly moving! :-D

I know part of the reason I was floating was because I needed to get my blerking sleep cycle straightened out again! Seriously, I went from working evenings to doing graveyard/overnight shifts, then finished my stint by doing BOTH in the same week for a few weeks! Then, after I left the answering service, I had just enough time to gather myself together before flying to the East Coast for a week - hello Time Zone Change! Ye Gods - it's taken me most of the rest of this month to figure out whether I was coming or going!
Memo to Self: I'm NOT 21 anymore and am getting further away by the DAY! (lol)

Another part of the reason has come to light as I've been doing the "Dream Boogie" course. I find that I've become very good at Hiding in Plain Sight. I've been doing a little bit here, a wee smidge there, but I really haven't put any major effort into full-filling this dream of mine, of BEING the Shamanic Priestess who shares her Luminosity with the world. In a sense, I've been fibbing on my Profile...I've heard the Call to DO, but I've been dragging my feet in completely heeding it. I've been too hung up on (gasp!) What Other People, especially those who are related to me by blood, Might Think If They Knew Who I Really Was. In other words, I've been afraid of being Judged, and Rejected. The Shadows that I've been dancing with of late go way back, and they're very familiar to me.

This shape is shifting dramatically.
I'm beginning to take the helm in significant measure.

For several years, even before I was first inspired by the Call to Be the Priestess, I've been toying with the idea of working temporary jobs - jobs that only last a few weeks or months, where I can earn some money, yet space these jobs out in between my "Real" Work. Since I've returned to myself, if you will, I'm taking steps to become a free-agent-for-hire...and this time, I'm vowing to Stay On This Path. If I have learned nothing from my last job, it's that I need the idea of I don't have to do this "forever" in order to stay SANE in the muggle world. ;-)
While I'm running that gameplan, I'm also taking a fresh look at what I've done AS the Priestess, to see if I can shift my approach. Lo, I think I've come up with it! I am refocusing myself, in this moment, to be a Reader (with non-Tarot oracle decks, at the moment). It's something that comes to me very easily, I am charged by it, as opposed to being drained by it, and I have everything I need NOW to get out and strut my stuff!

So I'm plotting and planning. I'm making new connections in new arenas and arranging my presentations. I'm moving again - just in time for Beltaine, the start of Summer, which is this weekend! Needless to say, I am Very Excited, and have every confidence that my dreams will Manifest in ways that completely support and fulfill and astound me! :-D

My time is NOW...and it's about time! (lol)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Political Post: "Beyond" Earth Day

{Disclaimer: now and again I'm going to comment on what's going on in the greater world. This is a "political post" and I'm expressing my opinion. This is my opinion only; agree or not as you choose. Be advised as well that while disagreement is perfectly expected and acceptable, venemous responses will be deleted. Now, onto the post.}

It's been more like "Earth Week" than "Earth Day," but amidst all the hoopla surrounding this occasion, a few ideas have been nibbling at the edges of my conscious awareness, which refuse to stay in my head any longer. So...

The news flash for all of the environmentalists and eco-activists: Believe it or not, Grand/Mother Earth, Gaia, Pachamama, however you wish to name Her, is not going to go "belly up" anytime soon. The idea that we as a species could do so much damage to Her as to destroy Her is laughable, if you look at the Big Picture. The asteroid that crashed into Her 65 million years ago did far more damage than anything we could ever do! Sure, it would take Her a few million years to heal Herself, should we happen to obliterate ourselves in our attempt to evolve beyond our Shadows, but She Would Do It - then offer another species the same opportunity to evolve.
As to which species would take up the challenge? Dolphins, chimpanzees, elephants, maybe even money, though, is on the cephalopods - the octopus & squid. In their case, they'd consider land "The Final Frontier" - !

So what exactly is going on?
Well, depending on who you ask, She's either rebirthing Her*Self or entering Menopause. I find myself resonating more with the latter theory; then again, I'm bypassing Motherhood altogether in this lifetime (ooh, there's a juicy future topic for discussion!) and may be a bit biased. ;-)
There is, however, something that IS out of whack and needing to be fixed - not our planet, but our relationship to Her.
The Native American people often speak of being "in Right Relationship" with each other and with the Earth...and in truth, some of the human "tribes" have not been in Right Relationship with Her for millennia. We've been engaged in taking-taking-taking and not giving back in equal measure; instead, we've been giving back garbage, literally!

It's not the Earth that's in danger of being destroyed - it's humanity's ability to live and thrive on the Earth that's endangered. We don't need to save Her as much as we need to save Ourselves. No one and no*thing else is going to do the Work that needs to be done.
It starts with the individual. It starts with you - and with me.

So we look within ourselves, shift out of Fear and into Love, one Shadow at a time. We Awaken from the Nightmare of the Grand Illusion and return to our roots - return to the Grand/Mother. As we heal ourselves, we heal our relationships with each other. As we heal our relationships with each other, we heal the planet. Right Relationship is restored.
If we put as much effort into healing ourselves and each other as we seem to be doing to destroy ourselves and each other, Earth Day would be every day - and it would truly be a Celebration!

So what's it going to be, my friends? Submit to the Grand Illusion of "gloom and doom" or see beyond it to what's really going on, and acting accordingly?
Or, to borrow the question from The Matrix: Are you going to take the blue pill, or the red one?

(ps - I took the red pill) ;-)

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

"Whenever you're ready, darling..."

When I see the crow, I know to keep my eyes open for Opportunity. @Home, 7/09

Sometimes the door swings open in front of me, but it takes me a moment or two to notice it, and a moment or two more to walk through it...

Two days before I posted about my very clean slate, I listened in on a teleclass with SARK, the artist also known as Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy. It was her first "Dream Boogie" teleclass, and she was offering it for free.
Free schmoozing with SARK? Say no more, dahlink! (lol)
So I listened. I even briefly participated. And I thought that would be the sum total of my experience.
The Universe had other ideas, apparently...

It took me a total of three days to realize that Serendipity and Synchronicity, those two sly Divine ninja sisters, had delivered to me yet again that which I was needing at just the right moment. The reason it took so long for me to wake up and smell the roses this time around was the cost for this particular course...a little more than what I'd paid for other e-courses in the past.
But the excitement that bubbled up in me from the teleclass wouldn't go away, not entirely. And after I did the math - oh hey, that wasn't such a bad price after all. So on the night of the 17th, I took a teeny little leap of faith and signed up for the class.

It's already producing dividends:
I'm finding a few issues that need some addressing, and some gentle breaking down and moving through.
I'm making a whole slew of new friends who are also wanting some nurturing of their dreams, and reconnecting with some "older" friends as well.
I'm letting my inner artiste out to play - I've been writing answers to questions with a Red pen! Love it! And I've broken out my Blue, Green, and Purple pens to play with as well! (which gives me an opportunity to play with COLOR on this blog! Hee!) ;-)

I am feeling very good about the next few weeks coming up; I feel like I'm going to be expanding into being this Whole Soul, reintegrating old dreams with new possibilities, and getting back on track. Just what the witch doctor ordered! (lol)

I am very thankful that the Universe is patient with me, when I need a little extra time to take off the blinkers and SEE what is right in front of me!
Onward, omnes!

Friday, April 16, 2010

How clean IS my slate?!

A flower in bloom that is keeping me company. @Home, 4/10

Flowers have been speaking to me in bloom.
They've made their way to my collages - my eye has been drawn to select them, trim the excess paper from them, paste them onto posterboards.
The little flower above had been separated from its mother plant; I rescued it and gave it some water to drink. The stem has straightened out, so it's blooming straight up right now, but it hasn't faded yet. :-)
I've also had the pleasure of seeing and smelling roses in bloom on my way to and from my mailboxes. Roses and lotuses - two of my favorite flowers. Each speaks to me in different ways: roses represent the Divine Feminine for me, specifically in the aspect of Mary, the Blessed Mother & Wife. Lotus is the energy of rising above the muck and blooming anyway; it carries more of Quan Yin's energy. (As Mary and Quan Yin are often associated with each other, though, perhaps it's really the same way both flowers speak to me. Things that make me go hmm...)

The flowers are speaking to me significantly in this moment because I feel like I'm blooming, after a long cold Winter...blooming as I float gently in the Void before Creation. And like the flower, there's no real agenda, no pressing cosmic "to-do" list lurking in the back of my mind - just be*ing in the process of opening up, spreading petals wide, and soaking in the energy of the sun...which feels totally alien and foreign to me. Not in a bad way, mind you, but this is definitely a new flavor of experience!

As I've transitioned out of my "old" life and allowed everything to realign within me post-Soul Retrieval, I've come to realize something significant is no longer present in my personal modus operandi. I can see how I used to operate from a very polarized vision of life; I was very much a "this-or-nothing" woman when I spun out my dreams and attached expectations to them.
I was creating my role as a Priestess in the world - but I wouldn't be able to realize my dreams fully unless and until I had relocated to a different part of the country, maybe even a different country altogether! I felt I needed to run away from where I am to a utopian place "out there" before I could allow myself to manifest my dreams to their fullest extent...and I didn't realize how deeply that need to run away was rooted within me until I woke up recently and noted its absence!

I note that I have loosened my grip and unclenched my hands. No longer am I resisting the Present Moment, what is around me Right Now; I see that I can do the necessary Work of being a Priestess here, where I am now, just as well as I can anywhere else...and that's a very good thing! :-)
Yet with shifting out of the polarity, I seem to have misplaced my ambition. The tension that ultimately served to sabotage me also sustained me in my creativity; as I've released the tension and relaxed into the Void before Creation, my need to DO the Work has evaporated.
So now I pause and wonder: how does someone who is so content just to BE find the inspiration and motivation to DO, and fulfill her destiny? Where does the flower find its motivation to create the sweet nectar that will entice the bee to come and pollinate?

I gently ponder these questions under the aegis of the new moon, as she begins her latest journey of waxing to fullness. Perhaps I will follow her lead... :-)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

deja vu

Standing at the gateway to something new. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

I believe I've been in this place in February of 2007, when I started this blog, just after I left the synagogue that had employed me for several years.

What's the same?
I left a job that had turned sour for me.
The future is wide open; a clean slate lies before me.
I'm not exactly sure what will happen next.

And, as before I had an adventure to step into. Said adventure has since transpired and I have returned from it. This time, I only traveled across the country, not around the world, but I might as well have gone global for the journey that unfolded before me! Details to follow shortly, promise.

So what's different this time around?
I have a support system now that I didn't have in 2007.
I have an idea of what needs to be done, but no set agenda, or timetable for getting things done.
I have a serene confidence within me that everything is fabulous and will work out for the best.
That serene confidence - that's the big shift for me. That's the result of all the Work that I've done since my initial jumping off into the Void, especially since the start of 2009.

Now it's simply a matter of seeing what transpires, and what falls by the wayside.
Now it's opening up to whatever comes my way, and/or wherever the Winds of Change blow me to.
Now...I observe, and create, and marvel at what I see and bring forth.
There is no rush, no judgment - only Presence.

The journey begins anew...Now.