Thursday, February 28, 2008

C o m i n g~together

On my way home from work, I began to split hairs about the Leaving...should I leave at this point in May or that point? Should I take the time off, come back in June, and then give notice? You know, lovely Libra indecision! ;-)

Well, today's call with P. changed that and clarified the path.
I had informed her that I was going into the studio on Saturday to record my CD.
(I'm going to say that again: I'm going into the studio on Saturday to record my CD!! WOOT!)
And she's throwing out ideas about what we can do after the Utah trip - like going to New Mexico in August...and visiting other places...

Back up a moment:
Her, me, her spouse, and whoever else of our Spiritual Posse is free to come with.

Oh mah gawds - it's coming together!

Back up another step:
When I attended Michael Beckwith's seminar in November, I was advised that travel was going to be a significant part of my life. Then, I couldn't quite see how that was going to work; but now, I can. It will be with my posse. :-)

Breathe deeply. Go-Time is around the corner!

Monday, February 25, 2008

putting my cards on the table

...or, why I've been so terribly quiet as of late...

Well, as soon as I made up my mind about giving notice at work in May, there came along a situation involving personality conflict between two of my co-workers, and wouldn't you know I jumped right in and provided a solution: I would shift my schedule so that these two would be overlapping one less hour in the week, and a greater peace might be attained. I called it win-win situation - less conflict between them, and a nicer schedule for me. :-)

Of course, to my highly ethical self, this meant that I probably wouldn't be leaving work in May after all...for what kind of person would I be if I shifted my schedule, only to quit a few weeks down the road?

Then along came the lunar eclipse during the full moon, combined with a sudden change in the weather (back to cold & wintery wet). Then along came my monthly trip into the moon lodge, when I know my emotions are going to run closer to the surface anyway. When I found myself collapsed on the bed, howling "I want OUT!" at the top of my lungs - well, I knew something was going to have to give.

In this whole process, I've been releasing a victim mentality that I've carried within me for far too long...she who feels small, powerless, & trapped. As I mentioned earlier, I can put up with any work situation as long as I know it's not "forever." But I can't just walk away from a situation where I've set myself up as "invaluable." That wouldn't be kosher, right?

Isn't that what I did at the synagogue, though?

So after pondering the situation, I do believe I'm going to return to the original plan, take that leap of faith, and quit in May. There is a part of me that is jumping for joy...and there is a part that is downright stunned. You can't just up and leave! she cries in disbelief. (It is, of course, the highly ethical part that is stunned.)

You know, staying would fall back into the whole "sacrificing myself for the greater good," and I am SO done with that. It's high time I broke character, and pulled this rod out of my ass for good!

I leave the door open for staying in this job - but really, it's open only a crack. ;-)

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Now this is what I've been intending!

I have received confirmation that my first healing circle will be March 21st!
This is the first one where I will be in the driver's seat, and I won't have to worry about whether my contribution will offend anyone! :-)

And today I finally made THE CALL.
Yes, I rang up the recording studio to see what was available.
Would you believe...March 1st?!?

So I will be in the studio, Singing onto a CD, sooner rather than later!

Oh my - YES! itsfinallystartingtohappen!!!

I was going to hit the ground running around this time last year, after I left the synagogue (remember?)
Instead, I went through some dynamic internal transformation. And there was also that lovely li'l side trip to Australia ;-)

Then I was going to hit the ground running on New Year's this year.
But I had not finished the year of transformation yet! See, this "next chapter" began on February 1st last I needed to complete the cycle before I could enter the new one.

Enter it, however, I have.
Strap in & hang on! :-D

Friday, February 8, 2008

"Gung Hai Fat Choi!"

That's "Happy New Year" in Chinese, I think. The spelling may be a wee bit off... ;-)

I blog here one week after a miraculous momentum shift!
Before Imbolc (which was on the 2nd), I was crabby, melancholy, and in the throes of Divine Discontent. "Captain Crankypants" was in the house & not in the mood to save anyone!
On the day before, I saw who I could be if I stayed in this energy - Judging everyone. "Should"*ing on everyone. The Indigo Diva had arisen from the dead and was chomping at the bit to open up a can of whoop-ass on everyone around her! :-o
I drew all of this energy together, then chose to step out of it.

Came the next day, Imbolc itself, and my attitude had done a complete 180.
I was content, because I knew everything was/is falling into place. All shall occur in Perfect Divine Timing. All of my dreams are unfolding before me in Real*I*Zation!
I have not felt this certain about everything since I believed my life was going to revolve around hammerhead sharks. They turned out to be the means to the end, rather than the end in itself; my ideas to record a CD and start up these healing circles may be the means to the end as well. We shall see...

The feeling of YES! is still here a week later.
And I am basking in the certainty of Beginning Anew. :-D

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

one year!

So my little blog is one year old. :-)

My journey is a year old as well.
Things haven't unfolded as I thought they would.
Instead of charging forward, I went within, attending to some Radical Transformation.
I see I had to finish the inner Work before I could start the outer Work.

I. Am. Ready.
I am Woman/Watch me Soar!