Sunday, August 30, 2009

Slowing way down...

Thanks to some Divine Perfect Timing, my stay in the Moon Lodge came over the three days I had off from work. I moved in the world only as I needed to, staying home, staying (mostly) indoors.

The realization hit me on Saturday, as my nose became congested and my throat started getting sore: When was the last time I'd spent all three days of my "weekend" at home?
Like, um, never?

You know when you can't remember the last time you did something, doing that something is way overdue...or in this case, NOT doing something. ;-)

This cold/allergy episode/whatever this is, this is simply reinforcing the lesson that was introduced to me in the Moon Lodge: s l o w
d o w n. Check in with myself. Be still in the center, in my center. Open up and soften. Observe. Pray. Reconnect with my own innate holiness. Allow the subtle forces moving around and within me to work their magick of Change upon me...

Reinventing myself, yet again.
So we'll see what this iteration brings. ;-)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

snapshot of my life: saturday, 8/29

I thought I'd start lifting the veil now and again and give y'all a look at the ordinary moments, quickie summations about what's going on around me, and within me...

~We're having a good ol' fashioned heat wave in my neck of the woods. About bloody time. (lol) Seriously, while my friends and co-workers may wilt in the intense heat, I thrive. I romp. Give me unlimited access to water and I can go from sunup to sundown, as they say. Were it not for my intense connection with the ocean, I'd probably be living in Sedona these days. Or maybe somewhere around Area 51. ;-)
A/C? I don't need no stinkin' A/C! We have it anyway (and it's on right now, because I'm the only dragon in the house). I can totally hear the droning of everyone else's A/C units when I go get the mail in the later afternoon...
See, I live in a condo complex with my mom and our cat. We're toward the front of the complex, and the mailboxes for the complex are in the back. So I make it a point to go walk to the mailboxes to fetch the mail and come back again. I may bend many of my other guidelines for myself, but walking to get the mail isn't one of them. Cold? Ha, I'll just throw on an extra sweater and walk really fast! Rain? Pish, I'll take an umbrella!

~Speaking of rain...we haven't gotten a lot of it these past few years. We're in a drought situation, which means we have to watch our water consumption very closely, and more closely by the week, it seems. It's raining back east, where there's supposed to be tennis, and Little League - and many SoCal peeps would give their eyeteeth for a few inches of that moisture to come our way. Weather is a strange thing, and getting stranger by the year.
Ah yes, Little League: one of the US teams is from Chula Vista. They're rather south of where I live, but they're technically local, since we share the same county. So everyone around the San Diego area has been right chuffed, as some of my Commonwealth friends would say; depending on the outcome of the weekend's games, we may well wind up totally & fully stoked, as we say in Cali. Now, can we pass some of that luck onto the Chargers this year? (lol)

~Sports: pretty well the only tv I watch these days...the only tv worth watching, these days! Even if you follow a team who's made more of suck than awesome, these days. ;-)

~Skype totally rocks. With it, I can talk to my friends who are scattered all over the country - and the world. I reconnected with one of my dearest Aussie chums last night after she downloaded Skype for herself. The fact that we can talk all we want to, for FREE, is so ridiculously groovy it's insane! We need more of this kind of insanity in the world!

~Switching topics entirely: during the summer, my favorite food is fresh. Salads, sandwiches, snacks - I want them freshly made, or I want fresh ingredients to make them myself. My ambition has kicked in; I purchased myself some hard-boiled eggs from Trader Joe's so I can try my hand at making myself some egg salad. (Yes, they're already hard boiled. Go ahead and laugh; I'll wait.)
This is the time of year, from midsummer through the autumn equinox, that my diet is the most organic and least processed. Maybe I could even make a bit of claim toward being a raw foodie. Should I make the commitment to being totally raw, this would be the time I started that particular lifestyle, fer sure.

~And a different kind of ridiculous...I live maybe half an hour away from the coast. Times I've been to the beach this year? Zero. Taking the beach for granted? Yup, guilty, yer honor. On the other hand, I have been feeling the craving to go beachside for the past few weeks - just haven't crossed that threshold from feeling it to DOING it. Yet. Not that the beach is going anywhere, ya know? ;-)
Had been planning on getting out today, but there's this tickle in the back of my throat that I'm not liking. (I'm sucking on a throat lozenge right now.) I think the culprit is this bloody A/C! Lovely as it is, it does make it more challenging to adapt to the weather changes as they happen!

Off to get my water bottle, with one final question - why is my mother watching the Raiders, FFS?!? (lol)

Friday, August 28, 2009

Notes from the Moon Lodge...

First, a translation:
When I say I'm "in the Moon Lodge," it's the same thing as being in the Red Tent, or the Menstrual Hut/Cave. Yup, I'm doing my monthly bleeding, and I'm staying close to home, not doing a whole lot.

So many women are told and taught to believe this is, at best, a significant inconvenience, and at worst, a horrible "curse" that leaves you "unclean."
Nothing could be further from the truth!
The time of menstruation reconnects us to one of our great Mysteries, reminding us that we can (co-) create and nurture LIFE within us. Woman's blood was once universally regarded as a source of Great Power. Women used to bleed together, in harmony with the lunar cycles; each dark moon, you would find many women together in their sacred space, resting and dreaming the future into the present moment, collectively envisioning the shared destiny of the village/tribe for the next month/season/year.

Many of us are rediscovering the truth about our Moon*Time and sharing it with our sisters, shattering the myths that have been passed down for generations. That whole PMS deal? That's your soul telling you to prepare to Go Within, ladies. Shed the concerns and chaos of the outside world, pack lightly, and head to the Menstrual Hut. Prepare yourself to dream...and be extra gentle with yourself, for your emotions are running just under the surface, now. They will return to their depths when you have finished your bleeding.

When I am in the Moon Lodge, I find my creative juices flow very easily, as the red river flows from me. I also find myself growing quieter, observing more, speaking and acting less. When I begin my Moon*Time on a non-workday, as I did this time around, I can tune in to the sacred and the mystic more easily, noting the holy in the ordinary, and bless it and give thanks. When I am in the Moon Lodge, there are fewer "obstacles" between my inner world and my outer world. I am more fully and completely in my Authentic Power.

No, I haven't always been this way. I bought into the myths myself when I was in my teens and early twenties. At one point, I couldn't wait until I turned 21 so I could get a hysterectomy! :-o
See, I've had hormonal imbalance issues most of my life. I was on "the pill" for twenty years. I began to wean myself off of artificial hormones after I "messed up" my schedule of taking them in Australia. I have been "hormone-free" for a little more than a year, now...and save for one hiccup where I visited the Moon Lodge twice in a three week span (!), I've been pretty regular.

I have noticed that if I'm due to start bleeding, doing or participating in sacred ritual will get me started without fail - sometimes quite abruptly and explosively! (lol) After one such ritual a few years back, I compared notes with two other women...and we discovered all three of us had started overnight, in synch! Rather than be horrified, we were (virtually) high-fiving each other. Such is the gift of following an Earth-centered tradition! ;-)

So I shall continue, for a few days more, walking in relative silence and serenity. Then, I will begin my outward swing back into the world.
If all women who still bleed could take a few days for themselves in the Moon Lodge, there would be more miracles and less strife! Word up!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Props for My Peeps #2: Mysterious Mondays

Time for a little fun, and another faboo person I'd like y'all to meet, if you haven't already.
Everyone, meet Mother Maitri.
We first "met" on the SARK forum, in one of its earlier incarnations. I was immediately drawn to her website: a mix of mirth, compassion, and authenticity. If nothing else, she is authentic, in her beliefs, her words, her narratives. She is a most lovely being, strong and tender and silly and poignant - and many more things, equally applicable, all in one. I dare you to look at her blog/s and NOT want to bookmark at least one of them at once! Oh, and did I mention she was Authentic? ;-)

She started a little somethin' last week called Mystery Mondays...viz, the lovely little graphic that's (hopefully!) at the top of this entry. Each week, we'll talk about "things that make us go hmm," from the simple to the profound.

I thought I'd start off by solving a mystery (hey, I'm a shamanic priestess; we solve mysteries now and again! lol) before posing one of my own.
So - Maitri considered this topic as her first mystery: Ouija boards.
I used one in the past. I don't anymore, since I've found other divinatory techniques that answer my queries much quicker and more efficiently. Don't get me wrong; they are good tools to use - IF you've cast sacred space first!
See, using a Ouija board is just like any other spellcasting...and if you haven't established clear boundaries, and invited only help*full guides & spirits in, you're bound to get tricksters coming in to give you messages that will mess with your head. They will, however, tell you some interesting stories as they're playing you...maybe I'll share that another time, closer to Samhain.

Anyhoo, here are some mysteries I've been pondering:
~Speed limits. Is it just in SoCal, or are speed limits regarded as "this is the minimum speed you need to go, lest you become a speed bump"? I do admit to going a wee bit over the speed limit now and again, but there always seem to be several people who think the freeways are their own personal Autobahn. There are speed limits, and then there's "Keeping Up With the Traffic," and rarely the twain seem to meet!

~My dear cat, Princess Joey Fur-Purrson, was raised with two other cats. So she should Little Miss Social with other members of her kind, right? Um, that would be a no. Nine times out of ten, she sees another cat and the hackles rise, the spitting begins, and if she's really feeling her mojo, she will bull-rush the door/window, screaming, "It's ON like Donkey-Kong, FOOL!" How did she become so antisocial? (le sigh)

~Why is it that when I mention a product, even generically and in passing, on Twitter, a dozen spambots suddenly want to follow me? That's what happened when I wrote "DVD" in one of my tweets. (note to self: don't mention material things on Twitter. Ever!)

~And to finish off, the mystery that inspired me when I was first gaining awareness of my surroundings, years and years ago: Why do the heads of hammerhead sharks look like hammers? (maybe it truly is a raven-and-writing desk thing! Ooh, Scary!!) ;-)

If nothing else, this will inspire me to blog on a more regular basis, non?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Thoughts during the New Moon...

There was a new moon Thursday night/morning.

Today I wrap myself in a blanket of self-love, as I did yesterday and the day before, and as I will tomorrow.

I am disinclined to move a whole lot. I am craving stillness.
The quiet within me reflects the quiet around me - overcast, with just a touch of rain.
They said there was a chance of thunderstorms, but I don't think so; otherwise I'd be bouncing off the walls. (lol)

I am not speaking as much right now.
I can't do a "word-fast" entirely (mom would freak her freak), but I can conserve my words, and be more non-verbal, listen more to the silence.

Fasted on Thursday, for the new moon.
A moderate fast, this time, to push the reset button on my digestive system.
(Had a sugar purge to kick off the week. NOT fun!)

With the sunrise, I will start moving again, after a fashion.
With the sunset, I will gather with my sisters and aunties, and share secrets and mysteries.
Soon enough, I look forward again.

Right now, I am still, in the darkness of the new moon.
Right now is a good night for pondering, and prayer, and dreaming the new month into existence...

Monday, August 17, 2009

Heavy Lifting with Coyote (the rest of the update)

The further I go into this year, the more meaning the word integration takes on for me.
Entering 2009, I thought I was a well-integrated person. I'd done lots of Work during the previous ten years, a lot of Shadow-assimilation and radical healing. I would've said I was really coming into my own as a Priestess.
I had no blerking idea how true my words were - or what was to begin unfolding for me.

The retreat I went to in January...people, I am not lying when I tell you it was a homecoming. The men & women I met there, and have gotten to know better since, are beautiful souls. Awakened souls, like me, who are wanting to take it to the Next Level, and are Doing Something about it! (I have a portal to my new fave e-place on the right-hand side of my blog; it's the first one listed under "My Posse," since they are a major part of my posse. Scope 'em!)

I am also not lying when I say I've done more Work within myself in these past seven-odd months than I have done in years. It's basically been an ever-unfolding challenge: You think you're ready to do this brilliant blossoming? Well, you really need to resolve some basic business first, m'dear!

Hence, this last month or so...under the tutelage of the Trickster.
I felt the interplay of brightness and Shadow arising into my awareness over the Fourth of July weekend. As the interplay within manifested without, I found a huge stuck place within myself: I had never fully resolved the trauma of junior high school. Acknowledged, yes, Worked on/with, yes - but it still lingered within the still depths of my being. I found myself reacting to circumstances not as a thirtysomething Priestess - but as a thirteen year old girl.

So I found a starting point. What do I need to do to heal this fully?
The vision-quests I had planned on doing turned into sessions of Deep Trance, something I rarely did before.
I sat with the feelings swirling within me and allowed certain themes to emerge.
I got messy, and exploded within myself. I shared the messiness with my new/old friends, something I rarely do until whatever journey I'm on is over, and I can present the nice neat airbrushed version, like I'm doing here. ;-)
I captured the most relevant negative thoughts, and put them on strips of paper. I made a juju bundle with them, to pray over them and transform them. I had interesting experiences with said bundle.
Eventually, the positive thoughts arose to repudiate the negative ones. They are waiting for their own juju bundle, to be made in a few days, with the new moon. As for the negative thoughts, they have been bound onto a Transformation Arrow, to undergo final release in a few days!
The whole process hit its crescendo right around 8/3, with the anniversary of my dad's passing (gee, what a surprise! NOT!) and finished itself around the full moon a few days later. The Arrow has come together over the course of the waning moon.

I am finding myself in a space of stillness, as things realign themselves around me. I acknowledge this Fallow Time in my life, and allow it to unfold as it will.
I am also pleasantly surprised to find my theme for this year's Harvest season: Love. Again, I will allow this to unfold as it will.

I can't think of any "cutesy" way to wrap this up, so I think I will leave it at this...

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Props for My Peeps: #1

We interrupt this introspective interlude to announce some exciting new developments!

Remember Brian, my ninja co-conspirator?
(If you don't, then you never went to check out his website, did you? You would not have forgotten him, trust me!) ;-)

He's conspired with another Ninja of Change to produce a wee video on YouTube.
He's reading his poem, "Love Is the New Religion (Spiritual Conspiracy)," as our fellow ninja's image & sound package unfolds.
See it right here.

Believe it or not, this is not the first YouTube offering of his words!
Hang out for a few moments after the video ends, and you'll see what other folks have done with his poem.
And if the title sounds familiar, chances are someone popped it into your inbox, or posted it on their blog and gushed over it, like I'm doing right now. (lol)

While you're checking el video out, I'll see if I can save the link to it on my blog. May take a while, but it will be worth the wait!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

"Say, how's your back doing?"

I promised an update about my healingway down the line. Well, I'm down the line and I've been re-xray'ed by the chiropractor's office. Here's the skinny:

~My pelvic tilt has gone from 18mm to a mere 2mm! I am now wearing a heel lift in my left shoe and orthotics for my feet; they're remembering what it's like to have arches! (lol)
~The scoliosis curve in my neck is a fraction of what it was. (see what happens when you clear energy properly? lol) I've been given a stretch to do to further re-align myself, which is easily incorporated into my ever-developing yoga practice.
~I didn't look hard for signs of osteoarthritis, I'm afraid, but my chiropractor didn't mention it, so looks like that's no longer a concern. :-)
~I have a new pillow for my head and a wedge to stretch out my neck. I can feel the curvature of my neck returning.

I also did a purificationway with the chiropractor's cleansing system of choice, Isagenix. Yah, they're pretty good. My "chicken wings" are smaller, my calves are shapelier, and I can feel my collarbones, hipbones, and spine. Oh yes, I'm also at least fifteen pounds to the lighter.
...or, as one of the gals at Trader Joe's exclaimed the other day, "Ohmigod, are you getting skinny? You look GREAT!"
Yes, we could open up a whole can of whoop-ass around body image issues/myths/etc., but I was amused and took the compliment as it was intended, in high spirits. Maybe we'll go there later. (And yes, I'm such a regular shopper that several of the TJ's folks know me - by name!)
At any rate, weight releasing was not my primary goal; detoxification was - and judging by the subtle changes in my dietary habits, it was a total success in that regard!

And then there's the yoga practice...equal parts traditional asanas, qi gong, basic Western stretching exercises, and stuff I've added because it feels good. ;-)
In the beginning, I felt overwhelmed by starting a yoga practice - when do I start it? and there are an awful lot of poses I going to have time to do all this? I noticed myself continuously putting it off, and putting it off, until I grabbed the bull by the horns: I'll start late at night, I eventually resolved, with one asana. Just the first one. Then I'll add on asanas one or two at a time as I go.
So although I'm only a bit more than halfway through the entire "official" practice, I'm moving on a rather consistent basis - and if I skip too many days, I can so feel it! I knew I had hit a turning point when I was at work one evening and couldn't wait to do yoga when I got home...ah, yes!
I've just incorporated my old nemesis, the Downward Facing Dog...though it's not as bad as it used to be. (Oh yes, I'd dabbled in yoga here and there before this healingway, and DFD is my least fave of the asanas, because my tendons are so damn taut, I can't put my feet down all the way onto the floor - believe me, I've tried! lol)

And, of course, I feel sooooo much better than when I started! Tension? what's that? ;-)
Although I do tense up at work, since I sit so damn much on my tuchis, I do make an effort to stretch my back out at regular intervals, and I walk around the building on my breaks. Then I can come home and do yoga. Joy!

So there's the physical stuff.
But, of course, that's only one dimension of my being.
That, however, is another story, which shall be saved for another time... (like, tomorrow, no worries! lol)

Friday, August 7, 2009

floating to the surface once more :-)

It has been a wild ride, Mr. Toad, these past few weeks. Where do I begin?
After my play-date...

After my play-date in Balboa Park, I exploded again. A block of emotion around my heart suddenly thawed out, and surged out of me. I think the last time I wept that intensely was after my father passed. Or maybe Brother Ten-Spots, my extra special cat. Regardless, I cleared out a LOT of stuff that Sunday evening...and knew it was time to move into the next phase of my Work.

I do my deep Work on two levels: within, using (semi-)guided meditations, and without, using specific objects. I find I do my most effective Work with objects I can hold in my hands, see with my eyes, manipulate on the material level. So I got myself a pouch to wear around my neck, filled it with objects...and Shadows, negative statements written with red ink on white strips of paper. Why? To pray over them and transform them. I called these strips of paper my "lovely bones."

So I've been wearing the pouch with the "lovely bones" in them, and praying over them, and visionquesting/trancing with them - along with a super-powerful smokey quartz.
Quick tangent: have you ever been in a store and had a compulsion to buy something? You can't say why you need it in this moment, but you know that's it's (going to be) important? Well, that's how it was with this smokey quartz; I bought it a month or so ago, "just because." (ha.) The "just because" has been revealed to me...this stone induces Very Deep Trance States! She's a keeper. ;-)
Along the way, in this journey, I have felt myself...shift. The negatives switched to positives. I created Words of Power to repudiate the Shadows. This morning, I removed the "lovely bones" from around my neck for the last time.

I mentioned my father's passing earlier, on purpose. This past Monday (8/3) marked nineteen years since that fate*full day. There has arisen an energetic vortex that swirls around me on this day; it arrived on my calendar just after I'd exited the Moon Lodge, so yah, here's the "wild" of the "wild ride" I've been on! Add some new high-intensity clients at work, and throw in a little sleep deprivation just for spice...this past week has been chock-full of Special High Intensity Training! (lol)
But, here I stand, on the other side of it, re-invented once more. :-)

I have a little ways to go yet with the "lovely bones," using them to make a Transformation Arrow to be burned, and finish the releasingway. However, the heavy lifting is done.
Good thing, because I have a "play-date" tomorrow in Encinitas...