Wednesday, December 31, 2008

dropping out for a wee bit...

So between being sick and being just about overwhelmed with work, my holiday season was not what I had planned.
When I acknowledged this in my journal yesterday, it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and the clouds began to part to let the sunshine back in.
One of the things that I realized yesterday as I wrote was that it was high time for another recharging of ye olde batteries. Once again, the Universe and I have co-created the perfect opportunity.

I'm stepping offline starting tomorrow to kick off the New Year with a bang. I shall be attending the Conscious Convergence retreat in Los Gatos. Then I'm headed back to San Francisco to chill with my sister from another mother, g-flirt, and my "Uncle" John and g-flirt's mom. This time, I am spending an entire day in Chinatown, dammit! ;-)

So I shall indeed recharge my batteries, and also replenish my Inner Font of Inspiration, which is running low as well. And maybe someone can help me scratch this itch I've got...?

Till next time, a Blessed New Year to all (all of my dozen readers, lol) and to all a Good Night.
Drive safely, and rejoice in the fact that we're finally putting this puppy to bed!

Friday, December 19, 2008

stumbling into yuletide

It certainly feels like that! (lol)

I stepped into the Moon Lodge right after my little launching party - and Mother Bear came out in earnest. If I didn't have to do something right now, I wasn't going to do it. End of conversation!

At first I thought I was feeling the holiday tension more than know, where Nature is calling out to slow down while Society demands that you speed up! So I felt like the grumpy bear floating down the red river.

Then I let myself "dry out" a wee bit too much during the office Christmas party, and felt the sore throat the next day. Aw, nuts. Why now - right before Solstice weekend?!

To learn more lessons about releasing expectations and attachments to outcomes.
To reinforce the idea of putting My*Self first.

So I have slept like the dead for these last few days. I called out sick to work, when I was going to pinch-hit for someone else anyhoo, so it wasn't so bad. And I'm radically redoing my plans for Yuletide...much as I'd love to stick with my agenda, if I DO, I run the risk of turning this creeping crud into something galloping out of control. And that would really throw a monkey wrench into ze plans!

So a lot of "taking it easy" and "playing it by ear" for the moment.
That which needs to get done, will get done in the fullness of time.
That which does not need to get done, well, maybe I can let it go, for maybe I never needed it to be done in the first place.
Or maybe that's my signal to go to bed now, for another fourteen hours. ;-)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

~L A U N C H E D~ (part one)

The phoenix has hatched at long last.
I debuted my CD tonight.

There are a few technical things to work out, in making it available online.
But that's only a matter of time...and that's when I'll run up the rooftop and scream in triumph.

Right now, I will simply report: mother and baby are doing blessedly well.
(And will come back later to provide details to those who are clamoring to hear them. Hey, a new mom's gotta rest, ya know?) ;-)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Time to bear down and PUSH!

Two days away.
When I open up my hands and let the Phoenix take flight from my being.

I finally got some new color ink for my printer.
Yup, I'm doing a bit of microbrewing, CD style, getting my first set ready for selling.

Eventually, I will do a mass cover printing and allow someone else to do the work for me. ;-)
Eventually, I will offer them for sale online. Maybe even between now and Saturday. Depends on how much trial and error lies between me and my cyber-goal. (lol)

Now, however, I'm in the final hours of labor.
Let me adjust my grip on the arms of the chair and reposition myself in the tub.
Let me breathe a moment and regather my strength for this final effort.
I will most likely scream, but it will all be okay in the end.
I will have my first Creation ready to share. :-D

Just have the dark chocolate ready for me, please. I will need to rebuild my strength when I'm done. ;-)

Monday, December 8, 2008

to decorate or not to decorate...?

That was the question as I entered December.

See, once upon a time, I was totally into the Christmas spirit. Decking the halls for a holly-jolly good time was practically mandatory. ;-) I got totally into every bit of it, treating it almost like, well, a ritual. (Yes, foreshadowing that path I was to take!!)

Then a couple of trends converged in my life.
First, I began to delve deeply into Earth-based Spirituality. Suddenly I began to feel disconnected from the whole "holly-jolly" atmosphere. Yes, I knew/know much of the symbology is still pagan, but the whole "reason for the season" theme no longer resonated with me...not that it ever really did in the first place! (lol) Second, when you work in a synagogue, you kind of hafta tone down the holly-jolly to be "politically correct," if you know what I mean. When in Tel Aviv...
So over the past few years, there has been a de-emphasis of holiday spirit around the house. Not a whole lot of tinsel and hall-decking. The fact that the Yule/Christmas trees are obscenely priced these days does not help!

Then this year, my Uncle B. sent us a "living" wreath of pine and juniper. It smells divine. But they only sent half a dozen dinky pinecones to decorate it!
Oh, no, I thought to myself. I can do much better than that!
So in getting out a few things to decorate the wreath, I found myself looking through the holiday box and saw an envelope full of paper ornaments that haven't seen the light of day in a long time. Ya know, it was time for a little hall decking once again. Break out some holly-jolly!

Thus, I have a decorated house. Not as extensively as in years past - hey, I live in a smaller space these days! (lol) - but more so than, say, last year. And by degrees, the Yuletide spirit is beginning to fill me up anew.

Now to tackle the rest of my holiday snailies... ;-)

Monday, December 1, 2008

tiptoeing into december

Sitting down & summing up:

I've posted Ariadne's Wish in the e-communities I'm a part of. People have actually been inspired to take up the Wish with their own circles! How exciting! I get warm fuzzies inside, along with the knowledge that I'm not whistling in the dark after all... ;-)
As for me, I will be partaking myself, most likely in January, with one of my groups.
I've come to realize the Wish doesn't need to be fulfilled right at the New Year, especially since there are a whole passel of New Years from now till March, and even beyond! So if you've been one of those sweating getting everything done NOW, relax. There will be plenty of time to come together, and invoke hearts' desires, and release them out into the Universe for fulfillment, if it's according to the Highest Good & Best Outcome...

My (muggle) Thanksgiving was nice, if rather damp. Rain in Southern California - who'da thunk it! (lol) My cousin H. and her family were hosting for the first time this year, and it was a chance to sit down with one uncle's family: his three children and their mess of grandchildren, also known as my first cousins and second cousins. I think. (still haven't figured out the proper terms for all these branches on ze family tree!) ;-) My grandmother's fingerprints were all over this one - five years since her passing and she's still doing her best to keep the family together!
Now, keep in mind one thing: in my family, I am the only pagan. My mother is more Taoist, than anything else, right at the moment...but the rest of the family subscribes to varying degrees of Christian belief. My cousin H. belongs to the more "casual" Christian branch, whereas members of my Uncle J's family are more "hardcore." The difference, energetically speaking, is palpable: I felt corseted at the family feasting, but the corset wasn't laced up so tight I could hardly breathe, ya know? ;-) At the moment there is an unspoken Don't Ask, Don't Tell rule in place, which will most likely fall to the wayside when my profile is sufficiently high enough for peeps to sit up and take notice of me. But after this Thanksgiving, I figure I won't have to kiss all of my family goodbye - just the "hardcore" ones. ;-)

On the work front, I'm finally finished helping out the company Down South! Happy happy joy joy! (lol) What was supposed to last three weeks, tops, turned into roughly three and a half months! :-o But you see, in a sense, I needed that time because I wasn't ready to move forward in my Real Work. There was the harvest to take in, the finishing of very important inner work, and the tail end of the Dark Night of the Collective Soul to move through.
Now, we are stepping into the time of Revolution and Rebirth. Now we have an opportunity to dream a new future into the of Unconditional Love that heals the old wounds and clears out all that stands between us and full Authenticity. From our new President (yay Obama!) on down, we have an excellent opportunity to wipe clean the slate and begin again.

For me, part of that beginning again will be in launching my two weeks! Eek! (lol)
No worries, friends, it's all coming together. Certain parts will probably need to be done later, rather than sooner, but it will all work out in ze end. I am certainly in no rush and will be making plenty of these puppies to spread throughout the entire world, Gods willing! ;-)

Yes, the words are loosening up, and are coming together to be shared at last.
This final month of the year will most likely be a retrospective one for this blog, both in the tying off of loose ends and of saying what could not be spoken of until the process was done.
For now, the process IS done, and it's time for me to spiral outward again...