Embracing "The Priestess"

Beauty in Seclusion. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

I love this pic of the tree covered in Spanish Moss. I had no idea how I was going to use it, until now...

Between Imbolc and the new moon, I experienced a major realignment. It was as subtle as my first Big Glow retreat experience had been dynamic, but both experiences served to split me open to my very core. I found myself unable - no, more like unwilling - to be a Social Butterfly. I really and truly needed to unplug for a time from the hoopla generated by the Wacky Tribe of Apes who call themselves human. So, once I had fulfilled my final "social obligation" last Saturday, I disconnected.
For a week, I limited my computer time to checking my email only...no Social Media sites, no Ning sites, no Forum sites, NADA. I also kept my "realspace" interactions to a minimum as well. Instead, I read a lot; mostly some of my books on Taoism. I puttered around in my newly cleared patio a lot, bringing some much needed order to what had been previously been overrun by chaos. I also went to my new fave place in Nature, Kit Carson Park.
(What, you think I'd pass up an opportunity to plug upcoming Awesomeness from my Home Tribe? Shut yo' mouth! LOL)

While at ze Park...

Water Falling. (Kit Carson Park, 2/11)

I completely "geeked out" every time I saw, or heard, the sound of running water. This may seem strange, until I explain that I live next door to a farking desert, and the sight/sound of water is a rare and precious thing to behold in SoCal. ;-)

I shared some meditation time with this squirrel. Right here, he's in the middle of a complicated "semaphore" display with his tail. I think he was telling the other squirrels, "Road busy! Do not cross!"

Mr. and Mrs. Duque. (Kit Carson Park, 2/11)

I also visited my version of Walden Pond, known here as "Sand Lake," to commune with the ducks, coots, and other waterfowl.

It is most felicitous I chose to focus on reading my Taoism books at this point, for the Information that I "uploaded" into my brain percolated in my psyche and brought me to the second significant A-HA! moment I've experienced this year.

See, right before Yule this past December, I had my first A-HA! moment while attending a presentation/ceremony at the Goddess Temple of Orange County. The presenter was a fascinating woman named Dr. Marguerite Rigoglioso, who is sharing ideas that will either thrill you or scare you, depending on your perspective. (Click on her name to get an idea of what I'm talking about.) I experienced a massive dose of the former, especially as I saw my entire life rearrange itself before my awareness as she spoke!
The A-HA! moment unfolding at Imbolc, I'm choosing to call The Great Thaw - I felt a lot of artificial restriction melting within me and flooding out of me. There was one day, in fact, where I could not stop crying. I was definitely a Hot Mess for a time!
Both of these significant episodes have led me to adapt new operating paradigms in my life - paradigms that don't start with, or contain, any sort of "Something Is Wrong With/in Me" message hidden in them. Paradigms that show me how my life could not have unfolded in any other way than it has - and that way has been the most perfect, and most felicitous, for me to travel...even when I've thought otherwise!

Ten years ago, I chose to follow the Path of the Priestess when I was initiated into Wicca at Imbolc. (Yup, in 2001. Gods, but that seems like a lifetime ago!) Ten years ago, I thought I knew what that meant - but I didn't even grasp a fraction of it! Not until I've wrestled with my deepest Shadows and seen them blink. Not until I've had my life spun around several times over. Not until I've been cracked open to my core so that I could grow even bigger than before.
So what does all of this mean?

It means that, in this moment at least, my life is unfolding in a very ancient and traditional pattern, as the Priestess who is a part of her Society/Community, but significantly holds herself apart from it. This was the paradox that was giving me fits, until I realized its truth: being A Part, vs. being Apart, is not an either/or proposition! It's a both/and proposition, as I flow between Activity and Rest. That was a HUGE relief to realize!
It means that I've allowed myself to get too caught up in labels, definitions, measurements, schedules, agendas, and a whole bunch of Structure which, in truth, was really Restriction! So I've gone and chucked it ALL out the window! For at least the forseeable future, my life and activities will flow from the answer to this one question: Does this arise from, and/or support, my Authenticity, with Integrity to My*Self? If the answer is Yes, I'll take action; if No, I'll take no action. Wu-wei, baby!
It also means that I'm not going to be as active online as I used to be. My blogs will still continue to exist; they, in fact, are going to be my top priorities. As for the social stuff - I'll respond promptly if it's urgent; otherwise, you'll hear from me eventually. Capice? ;-)

I feel there's more of a depth to my be*ing than there was previously. Initially, I felt that certain of my energies, namely my feminine/yin energies, were "stunted" in relation to my masculine/yang energies. Now I can see that all I really need to do is honor and move with the yin as I have honored and moved with the yang. It's simply a matter of recognition, yo.

Let's call them "Yin" & "Yang." (Encinitas, 1/11)

How I spent my Imbolc

Well, as I promised last time, I got crafty. Here is the Imbolc wreath I revamped:

Because it's a straw wreath, the candles don't always behave. ;-)

To celebrate Imbolc itself, I made my way to Questhaven. After walking their labyrinth, I set out on the Singing Springs trail...

Greeted by a HUGE flowering tree at the start of the trail!

 

Passing through one of several portals...

Crossing over a bridge into Faerie territory :-)

The rock formation at trail's end

 

...and the springs were Singing! :-)

I stayed for a long time by the stream, taking in the sound of rushing water. Eventually, I got my fill, and took my leave. I went to visit the Blessed Mother (Mary) before leaving the grounds.

Post-Questhaven, I chose to visit the Jade Buddha, which was making a stop at the California Center for the Arts (in Escondido.) I didn't know what to expect - but an outdoor temple was not on the list!

The Jade Buddha at the center of the "temple"

The day I stopped by just happened to be the celebration of the Lunar New Year for the local Vietnamese community. I took in the energy of new beginnings, devotions, and celebrations. I even received a New Year's Blessing from a Buddhist Monk. :-)

As I left, wouldn't you know who I would notice flying alongside me? Hello, Crow! (lol)

I've got some more pix of the day, but Blogger is acting up a bit, so I'll post the full photo experience on my Facebook page.
I've also been experiencing some very profound internal shifting. I'm still processing a lot of it, so I'll save that part of the story till later... ;-)

Checking in...

Okay, can I just say off the top that I cannot believe it's still January! With Spring unfolding right now around me, and with all of the Work I've done, I've been feeling it's more like mid-February! (lol)

Oh, my. The Work.
I have begun my new blog, From the Wetware. More Information than I expected has come through, and there will be a new post up very shortly! I began a series of Wisdom-Share Circles in the area, thanks to a lovely friend who is renting her space at a very generous rate. I am going to be facilitating a ceremony for the next Sabbat that's coming up (Imbolc), and I've also lined up a speaking gig at a local metaphysical shop; I shall present the idea of Rewriting Your Story! I've also been following the Rhythms of the Earth and Sky, and have a couple of Tiny Adventures to share with y'all very soon!

And there have been lessons and surprises as well...I see how I've been allowing my pride to get in the way of manifesting Prosperity in my life - that is, "I'm on this Spiritual path, so there's No Way a muggle job can serve me." So I'm focusing more on finding that additional source of steady income that can assist me as I nurture my Priestess Work in the world. Just as I get comfortable with that concept, a muggle stint that has been serving me since late October suddenly, and abruptly, ended.
Time for a Confession. I've been keeping a secret from y'all, one that I can now reveal, in part: I was a Mystery Shopper for a major grocery company for about three months. Although it was providing me with a stream of income, it wasn't truly in alignment with my Authenticity, if I can be completely honest. Yes, it was a wonderful experience of stretching me out of my comfort zone - but I wasn't breaking even, financially, and some of the food was, in fact, at a lower frequency than my body prefers to ingest. So the Goddess giveth, and the Goddess taketh away, when She feels it's necessary. Okay, it was necessary - but right now?

Never fear, faithful readers, I do have other options currently on the table that I am exploring. :-)
The more important point, though, is this: I have been carrying expectations about how my "Mystical Priestess Life" is supposed to look. Very recently - like last night into this morning - I was invited to drop those expectations...and behold! I'm living my "Mystical Priestess Life." Right Now. This Very Instant! I am taking the leaps of faith I believed I was supposed to take. I am doing the Work I believed I needed to do. How many more times do I need to be hit upside the head by the Holy 2x4 of Enlightenment before I get the message?!? (lol) Message received, finally, thank you! Here I am, the Queen of the Subtle Way, and I realize the Way has been so subtle, that I've been looking for one burning bush while the whole blessed forest has been on fire! ;-)

So...I breathe into my belly. I ask myself what I need to do next. My inner child jumps up joyfully and proclaims, "It's time to Create!" Indeed, I've got an artistic project or two that I want to do for the Springtime, and this is the perfect time to get crafty. Indeed redux ~ in all of the significant shapeshifting and Shadow-Working I've done for the past, what, two years or so? ~ I have neglected my Inner Artistic Creatrix. It's time to go into the darkened room, through back the curtains, and let the sunlight in. It's time to gather together the materials I need...ribbon, glue, artificial flowers. It's time to send the rational mind out for coffee and let the intuitive mind out to play. Remind me to take some pictures to share when I'm done, 'mkay?

I shall return...

A Breath of Fresh Air...

That's what 2011 feels like so far. It's a power*full breeze as well; I've been a busy little bee these first few days in! A new blog to tend to, new Wisdom to share, new places to go, people to see, and things to do...the seeds I have planted have broken the surface. I have wee sprouts around me! :-)

I started the New Year off with a bang - or should I say, a drumroll...

Getting ready to paint the town red. (San Diego, 1/11)

The Red Lotus Society presented a little event called Peace in the Streets, asking folks to come and stand on the street corners in downtown San Diego and perform as the spirit moved them, in the name of promoting peace (and self-realization, and lots of other groovy stuff). Sounded like the perfect opportunity to go bang on ze drum, and I did - much to the dismay of one gentleman who lived right above me on the corner where I was rocking! But it was all good, and I kept the beat going later that evening with my sisters of the San Diego Women's Drum Circle! All told, I think I drummed for about five hours on the first day of the New Year! My body told me about it tomorrow..."Darling, you're not 21 anymore - and you're moving further away from that age by the DAY!"
I know, I know - but I still feel youth*full!

I have been putting together my 2011 with much deliberate attention and focused awareness...listing my goals, fasting at the dark moon to clear my body of any lingering ickiness from the previous year, envisioning what this new year will look like, and feeling myself moving again. Finally! As I said to my friend S. yesterday, "I'm done micromoving. I'm ready to GO!" Here's the brilliant part...I am going! :-)

Tomorrow I debut the first of my monthly Wisdom-Sharing Circles. Sunday I'm going to immerse myself in Real Life and move my body, still my mind. I have Creations to manifest and ceremony to plan. I realized the other day...I am living my Priestess Life right now. Okay, there may be a few aspects of my reality that are lagging behind just a tad. No worries; instead of dropping back down to be with these aspects that are lagging, so that I don't get "too ahead of myself," I'm going to work on lifting said aspects up to where I am now. I don't think I could live a "low-frequency" life anymore even I wanted to - and I definitely don't want to!

So envision me, grinning like the cat that ate the canary, as I play about with my Creations, online and offline, carefully cultivating them for a most bounty*full harvest. This is definitely going to be a Year of AWESOME!

Saving a serene seat for resting later. (San Diego, 1/11)

2010: Year of the Micromovement

In the spirit of the season, as the old year is rung out and the new one is rung in, I thought I'd join in on the reflections.

This past year has seemed like I've taken a thousand micromovements in various directions. Sure, there were some major movements in this year-that-is-passing, but they were the exception, rather than the rule. I felt as though I were moving at the pace of the ant, the snail, the turtle - Very Slowly, and with lots of naps in between.

Considering all that was going on within me, though, I don't think I could have moved any faster if I'd wanted to. On my Facebook page, I have an album for the Big Glow retreats that I attended "this" year. I call it Realization. Indeed, that is what has happened to me.
Although I've talked a lot about being a priestess of the world, I micromoved into this role, claiming it and owning it completely, in 2010. Now, I truly AM the Priestess. I am a different woman than I was in January; hell, I'm a different woman than I was at the start of this month! (lol)

To sum, a bit...
The first realignment was complete at the Spring Equinox. I left everything muggle behind and rededicated myself to my Life Purpose, BE-ing the Priestess fully and completely!
The second realignment was complete at the Fall Equinox. I entered the higher frequencies of the "new" reality that is unfolding before us, more and more every day. The differences between who I was and who I am became readily apparent!
The third realignment was complete just after Samhain. Came the dawn of the Seventh (Mayan) day, and I was the anchoring point of a lovely Rainbow of the Goddess! The first steps of my new journey came clear!
The fourth realignment has just been completed, with Mercury going direct again. I seem to have returned to serenity, and awakened from hibernating. I'm still moving slowly, but it's the slowness of the Dreamer shifting back into the place of Wakefulness. I'll be moving more rapidly soon enough!

I don't doubt there will be further realignments, but they're more of a fine-tuning now, instead of an overhaul.

2010 is/was also the year to Work on those Shadows that lay underneath all the rest, bringing them up into my awareness and fully understanding them. I have released what no longer serves me, but find that there's still shadow-material present, after all is said and done...and this is okay. I have come to that place where I don't need to "fix" or "destroy" anything; all that is present is good As It Is, Right Now. After all the Work I have done, that's a lovely feeling indeed!

Ten thousand baby steps later, I turn and see that I've come a very long way.
Huzzah.
And the best part is - I've just gotten started. :-)