One of the most ordinary activities in the Universe, getting the mail.
I'm walking back, a few magazines and letters in my hand.
I notice a white butterfly flitting among the foliage in front of me.
I smile, and I turn on the path.
Then the white butterfly flits directly across my field of vision, darting ahead of me.
I follow it around the corner, and see...
Orange Monarch-type butterflies, at least four, maybe six, perhaps even eight.
They launch nearly as one, stimulated by the white butterfly passing by.
And then they dance in the air, complicated maneuvers around the hanging plants.
Now and again they pair off, spiraling madly through the air at "breakneck" speed.
(that is, if they had necks to break) ;-)
Courtship dances? Territorial dances? I don't know, but it's almost impossible to follow their intricate passes completely, as they bank and dive and swirl - with nary a collision!
Time stops.
I drink in the sight of these butterflies, with my eyes, with my heart, with my soul.
Wings of Satsuma-tangerine orange, of sunset orange, beating beneath a deep blue sky, beating among the green of hanging plants...with the most brilliant purple flowers I've seen in a while.
These flowers: light lavender petals surrounding indigo centers, from which tiny yellow stalks arise in clusters. They take my breath away when I notice them, until I remember to breathe again.
The butterflies flit about this slice of perfection, now rapidly, now slowly, but always in motion.
Behind me, I hear a hummingbird's twitter, a crow's caw.
A junebug drones his way through the tableau. I know it's my grandfather, just as I know my grandmother is one of the butterfly dancers. These humble insects are their respective totems.
At last, the butterflies seem to have restored harmony among themselves. Their flights become smaller, soon to return to sacred stillness.
I bow to them and resume my journey homeward, grateful beyond words for this gift of Beauty*full Grace.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
~and journeying~
So it begins, this alchemical transmuting of the heart center.
I find myself tip-toeing inward, ever so slowly, along the spiral path.
I have beheld what lies at the center of this spiral, and though I was stunned, I must say I was not entirely surprised...
I beheld a portion of the Shadow-Matrix in my heart center, and know myself to be a horcrux! along with countless others in this agreement we call Western Civilization!
(For those of you scratching your heads and wondering what a horcrux is, I refer you to the Harry Potter books. Without giving away any juicy bits, it is an object that has a portion of the wielder's soul embedded in it, for protection. And if you haven't read the books, what on earth are you waiting for? Hie thee posthaste to your nearest open-minded library! You ought to be finished with them by the time I finally post again!) ;-)
Preparations started gently at the new moon...a mudra here, a mantra there. Tonight, at the first quarter moon, I ramp it up just a notch. Come the full moon, I will immerse myself more fully, and at the last quarter moon, dive deeply into the second phase of my intensive. I will arrive at the pivotal point of this process right around August 3rd - which happens to be the anniversary of my father's death.
On that day, I always feel significant energies surrounding me, heightened by the fact that it falls two days after the official celebration of Lammas: the celebration of the First Harvest, and also the traditional date of the sacrifice of the Sacred King/Sun Lord. Initially, the energies would all but overwhelm me in grief; within the last few years, though, I've been able to use those energies to work some dynamic transformations within my*self. This date looks to be just as juicy as previous years, if not more so!
Afterwards, I shall be co-creating with my friend P. as the "triple-8 gate" (the date of 08/08/08) opens up on the earth-plane. Perhaps there will be an initiatory experience - who knows? And then, finally, I should be able to get back on track with my "official" priestessing!
Whatever will be will be.
I shall allow the future to take care of itself.
Let me refocus on the NOW, and surrender to the journey as it unfolds along the spiral path...
I find myself tip-toeing inward, ever so slowly, along the spiral path.
I have beheld what lies at the center of this spiral, and though I was stunned, I must say I was not entirely surprised...
I beheld a portion of the Shadow-Matrix in my heart center, and know myself to be a horcrux! along with countless others in this agreement we call Western Civilization!
(For those of you scratching your heads and wondering what a horcrux is, I refer you to the Harry Potter books. Without giving away any juicy bits, it is an object that has a portion of the wielder's soul embedded in it, for protection. And if you haven't read the books, what on earth are you waiting for? Hie thee posthaste to your nearest open-minded library! You ought to be finished with them by the time I finally post again!) ;-)
Preparations started gently at the new moon...a mudra here, a mantra there. Tonight, at the first quarter moon, I ramp it up just a notch. Come the full moon, I will immerse myself more fully, and at the last quarter moon, dive deeply into the second phase of my intensive. I will arrive at the pivotal point of this process right around August 3rd - which happens to be the anniversary of my father's death.
On that day, I always feel significant energies surrounding me, heightened by the fact that it falls two days after the official celebration of Lammas: the celebration of the First Harvest, and also the traditional date of the sacrifice of the Sacred King/Sun Lord. Initially, the energies would all but overwhelm me in grief; within the last few years, though, I've been able to use those energies to work some dynamic transformations within my*self. This date looks to be just as juicy as previous years, if not more so!
Afterwards, I shall be co-creating with my friend P. as the "triple-8 gate" (the date of 08/08/08) opens up on the earth-plane. Perhaps there will be an initiatory experience - who knows? And then, finally, I should be able to get back on track with my "official" priestessing!
Whatever will be will be.
I shall allow the future to take care of itself.
Let me refocus on the NOW, and surrender to the journey as it unfolds along the spiral path...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
~percolating~
Okay, I'm at a point where I can lift the veil and break my silence, to an extent...
When I helped G-flirt move to San Francisco at the end of April, I stayed with her for a few days in the downtown. One of the things I noticed, besides the very strong wind there (!) was the significant number of homeless on the streets...and they frightened me on a very deep level.
(Yes, I freely admit I was sheltered growing up, but still - !)
I sensed them at the edges of my attention, almost circling like hungry ghosts, ready to pounce upon me and suck out all of my life force if I allowed them to. I wanted nothing more than to stay with my friend in her room and not venture out alone at all, if I could help it. (She was going through her own adjustment adventures and was not up for a lot of exploring.)
The presence of the homeless, and my reaction to them, shook me to the core. This is, in part, why I walked straight into a cold when I returned home - after not having been sick for several years. I found old fears stirred up - must hide from the predators so they won't find me, must stay small to be safe - stuff that I thought I'd already dealt with.
Superfically, yes...but not to the extent that I needed to.
So, guided by a vision, I began "working" with Kuan Yin, the Great Mother of Compassion, in an intensive. This meant putting all of my plans for expanding my presence in the world on hold, at least for the season. (Fine, I'm not in any particular hurry with this huge chaotic flux swirling about in the world!) Among other things, I found a "not safe" feeling in my individuation center, and an "avoiding loss" desire in my heart center...aka chakras #3 & 4, respectively. I uncovered the Paradox at work within me: As much as I want to be a part of this world, I want to be apart from it as well!
I tackled the "not safe" feeling first. Under Kuan Yin's tutelage, I assembled, consecrated, and charged a juju bundle with Her energy, which I could then use in my inner Work. Success, so far - I am feeling safe again. The "avoiding loss" desire will be more challenging and complex to transmute, but I have all the confidence that it will happen. After all, I've become an expert on Shadow-work, these past ten years, if nothing else! ;-)
So I take a breather between chakras, and move into celebration of the Solstice. It's high time for me to let my inside children out for a little playtime! The deeper work will percolate on the backburner for now, until I move closer to the start of the harvest season.
(Lest you think San Francisco was less than enjoyable - it was not. I'll post about that next time; suffice for now to say, I want to return sooner rather than later!) :-)
When I helped G-flirt move to San Francisco at the end of April, I stayed with her for a few days in the downtown. One of the things I noticed, besides the very strong wind there (!) was the significant number of homeless on the streets...and they frightened me on a very deep level.
(Yes, I freely admit I was sheltered growing up, but still - !)
I sensed them at the edges of my attention, almost circling like hungry ghosts, ready to pounce upon me and suck out all of my life force if I allowed them to. I wanted nothing more than to stay with my friend in her room and not venture out alone at all, if I could help it. (She was going through her own adjustment adventures and was not up for a lot of exploring.)
The presence of the homeless, and my reaction to them, shook me to the core. This is, in part, why I walked straight into a cold when I returned home - after not having been sick for several years. I found old fears stirred up - must hide from the predators so they won't find me, must stay small to be safe - stuff that I thought I'd already dealt with.
Superfically, yes...but not to the extent that I needed to.
So, guided by a vision, I began "working" with Kuan Yin, the Great Mother of Compassion, in an intensive. This meant putting all of my plans for expanding my presence in the world on hold, at least for the season. (Fine, I'm not in any particular hurry with this huge chaotic flux swirling about in the world!) Among other things, I found a "not safe" feeling in my individuation center, and an "avoiding loss" desire in my heart center...aka chakras #3 & 4, respectively. I uncovered the Paradox at work within me: As much as I want to be a part of this world, I want to be apart from it as well!
I tackled the "not safe" feeling first. Under Kuan Yin's tutelage, I assembled, consecrated, and charged a juju bundle with Her energy, which I could then use in my inner Work. Success, so far - I am feeling safe again. The "avoiding loss" desire will be more challenging and complex to transmute, but I have all the confidence that it will happen. After all, I've become an expert on Shadow-work, these past ten years, if nothing else! ;-)
So I take a breather between chakras, and move into celebration of the Solstice. It's high time for me to let my inside children out for a little playtime! The deeper work will percolate on the backburner for now, until I move closer to the start of the harvest season.
(Lest you think San Francisco was less than enjoyable - it was not. I'll post about that next time; suffice for now to say, I want to return sooner rather than later!) :-)
Saturday, May 31, 2008
...update...
Heidy ho to my posse...all six of you... ;-)
Just a brief note:
I am on an intensive right now, being guided by Kuan Yin.
I have felt my energy shifting, and expect more shifts in the very near future.
The world no longer looks terribly dark & scary... :-)
~end of line~
(oh, am I dating myself? lol!)
Just a brief note:
I am on an intensive right now, being guided by Kuan Yin.
I have felt my energy shifting, and expect more shifts in the very near future.
The world no longer looks terribly dark & scary... :-)
~end of line~
(oh, am I dating myself? lol!)
Friday, May 23, 2008
Raindrops in May ~ Validate the Grey
A very rare event in my neck of the woods: it's raining. In May. When normally the high pressure arrives in its summer home in the desert next door and begins to crank up the heat.
Rain!
Needless to say, the Princess is a pissy pussy today. ;-) She can't go out because it's too wet-windy-cold and glares at us humans who share "her" abode and says, "I would ask you to stop the rain, but since you haven't done so in the past, I'm not even going to bother this time!" And she returns to her sulking sleep.
The May rain fits in perfectly with my mood.
My days off have become retreat days, pajama days, where I just stay in my pj's and watch the intermittent rain, when I'm not reading a book. The one I'm reading just now is Graves' The White Goddess, a classic text, and the latest text in my self-directed Spritual Feminism course.
Initially I was going to pass it on after I read it, but now I'm not so sure. It's chock full of juicy information, from a time & a place that has struck an unexpected chord of resonance within me. I found another lifetime there, in Wales, in the centuries just before the Inquisition came into horrible manifestation on this plane. I wonder what Greece holds for me - maybe with my next vision quest...
I have been sitting with the darker places, the softer places, in this time of Retreat. I'm not ready to share yet, but I will tell you progress is being made. I think.
In the meantime, think of me as the dragon comfortably ensconced in her lair, wings folded, watching the rain and waiting patiently for the sun to peek out from behind the clouds and bring the heat back to her realm.
TTFN!
ps ~ for anyone who notices the deleted comment: I deleted it because it was e-spam. I'm not fond of spam in any form and if I find it, it's gone. Kind of like the agreement I have with black widow spiders... ;-)
Rain!
Needless to say, the Princess is a pissy pussy today. ;-) She can't go out because it's too wet-windy-cold and glares at us humans who share "her" abode and says, "I would ask you to stop the rain, but since you haven't done so in the past, I'm not even going to bother this time!" And she returns to her sulking sleep.
The May rain fits in perfectly with my mood.
My days off have become retreat days, pajama days, where I just stay in my pj's and watch the intermittent rain, when I'm not reading a book. The one I'm reading just now is Graves' The White Goddess, a classic text, and the latest text in my self-directed Spritual Feminism course.
Initially I was going to pass it on after I read it, but now I'm not so sure. It's chock full of juicy information, from a time & a place that has struck an unexpected chord of resonance within me. I found another lifetime there, in Wales, in the centuries just before the Inquisition came into horrible manifestation on this plane. I wonder what Greece holds for me - maybe with my next vision quest...
I have been sitting with the darker places, the softer places, in this time of Retreat. I'm not ready to share yet, but I will tell you progress is being made. I think.
In the meantime, think of me as the dragon comfortably ensconced in her lair, wings folded, watching the rain and waiting patiently for the sun to peek out from behind the clouds and bring the heat back to her realm.
TTFN!
ps ~ for anyone who notices the deleted comment: I deleted it because it was e-spam. I'm not fond of spam in any form and if I find it, it's gone. Kind of like the agreement I have with black widow spiders... ;-)
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