Eye of the Needle

The Very End of the Sunset. (Nevada, 11/11)

Well, it seems the timeline accelerated on me the last part of November and into the first part of December.

I started my Virtual Walkabout earlier than I expected. I needed to because of the massive amount of shape-shifting that surged into my awareness as the moon waxed from New to Full, and I desperately needed some Stillness to try to ground into. There were times when it was hard for me to put two sentences together in my head; in one significant sense, it felt like I was dying inside! - and now that I look back upon this process, a part of me was.
One of my shamanic sisters nailed it a few days prior to the full moon: I wasn't standing in the Crucible. This time, I was in the heart of a huge Volcano of Shadow, Negativity, and low-frequency ick. Just before the lunar eclipse, the Volcano erupted. BIG time! I went into my car for some privacy (taking along my hand drum) and let everything erupt. It was messy. It was LOUD. And after it was over, it was extremely cleansing.

I was anticipating further eruptions with the eclipse, but instead, I found myself dropping into a state of Serene Emptiness, for the first time in quite a while! As reality expanded around me again once more, I breathed into it, and receive the message that I had just passed through the Eye of the Needle, an initiatory portal that relieved me of a Ton of Nasty Stuff that I no longer needed to carry with me! Further sitting in stillness revealed to me what that Nasty Stuff entailed. To sum: The "Good Girl" is dead.

This doesn't mean that I'm now Darth Vader's left-hand woman or anything like that. ;-) Promise.

What has died within me is the People-Pleaser who had to be Agreeable with Everyone. If someone disagreed with anything she said or did, she became nervous...Maybe they don't like me anymore! What must I do to get them to like me? (so she could be Validated as a "Good" girl, see?)
What has died within me is the dreaming Perfectionista who had to have Every Last Detail of her dreams come Absolutely True in the World of Form, or it was Wrong. (And of course, she never had a dream that was off-target!) She who clung SO fiercely to Expectations, and Attached Everything to the Outcome - that's one way you define Fundamentalism!

With the waning moon, I'm working with Mother Vulture to clear away any and all remaining ick. So yes, I'm still on my Virtual Walkabout, though I'm leaving this little note to let my posse know that All Is Well. And there are forms emerging from the Emptiness for me to consider, so I'll be having some fun with those as the New Year kicks off. :-)

Walking through the 11/11/11 Portal

So let this be an explanation of what happened around that date, and what has unfolded since, to go with my semi-cryptic status posts on Facebook... ;-)

I had planned out some ceremonial work to do on 11/11/11, to go along with the great gathering of energy. I also had a sense, truth be told, that I wasn't going to be at home when the portal opened. At first, I thought I would be attending a women's conference in Los Angeles; at the last moment, though, I was advised by my guides NOT to participate, so I let the opportunity pass. Not entirely sure what was going on, I waited - and two days later, my ultimate destination became clear. I was needed in Las Vegas. So I packed my duffle, got behind the wheel of White Lightning, and off I went.

That Friday saw me wandering in the desert just outside of Las Vegas. Viz:

During my wanderings, I had an opportunity to commune briefly with one of the stones on the ground. It was a fairly large white stone, with a place for me to rest my hand. I would like to think that I joined energy with that stone right at 11:11 am; without a watch to confirm, I have no idea. ;-)

There were some very interesting cloud formations overhead, especially in the morning. What I didn't take a picture of was the Vegas Strip surrounded by an odd, pea-soup like smog. Was I seeing the effects of a cleansing, or was I seeing into another reality? I'm still debating that one.

I returned home Friday evening. Saturday morning (11/12), I felt a HUGE difference in energy in the house...I was on a completely different level than anyone else residing here! It was very uncomfortable for me, and I found myself stepping into Bear Medicine. Momma Bear growled at anyone if they came too close for comfort!
I found myself shielding very heavily against the very low vibration at home. Relief came when I stepped out into Nature, which I did on Sunday (11/13) to enact the ceremony I had planned to do two days earlier. I felt myself plugging back into the New Reality as I visited the power spots scattered through Kit Carson Park.

So Many Crows! (Kit Carson Park, 11/11)

Honestly, I've never seen so many crows in one place in my life - these and many more followed me through my ceremony. I felt truly protected - and blessed - by their presence.

I'll be honest with y'all - there's a lot shifting within me right at the moment. I'm feeling sea changes coming my way, so significantly that I'm going to unplug from cyberspace and take a Virtual Walkabout during the Second Unfolding, which starts on December 11th. I feel the need to gain some clarity as to what I'm supposed to do next, and when I need to take action. Depending on what other rhythms I tune into, that Virtual Walkabout might also turn into a real one. We shall see.

I feel that significant parts of my life-story are coming to an end, to make way for new beginnings...

Sunset in Nevada. (November, 2011)

Sights of Samhain

I finished off my "Jaguar Days" and welcomed in Winter by getting out into Nature. While others got together to honor the dead and exchange tricks for treats, my ceremonies were personal and private, tuning in to the Web of Life. I did, however, attend a communal ceremony or two... :-)

Mrs. Gilbert's Memorial Bench. (Kit Carson Park, 6/10)

Mrs. Gilbert was my teacher in the fourth grade. She introduced me to hamsters as pets; I took one from several she brought with her on the last day of school. I named him Clarence. He wound up living under our dishwasher for most of his life (by choice) and was buried in the backyard, where an apricot tree would be planted years later. She also knew my mother's family, when everyone was growing up. Small world, eh? ;-)

Shrine for the Departed. (Kit Carson Park, 10/11)

I constructed this shrine under her bench with the materials on hand: sticks, pistachio nut shells, cigarette butts (to represent tobacco), and a crow feather that had seen better days. I pocketed some extra materials to take with me to Questhaven a few days afterwards; more on that in a moment.

Jade-Green Stillness (Kit Carson Park, 10/11)

First, the trick: the pond looks green, but that's actually algae on the surface. The algae will disappear with the first good Winter rains.

"Hidden Glory" (Kit Carson Park, 10/11)

Next, the treat: this is a morning glory bloom I found hiding under the bench one sits upon to meditate by the pond shown above. I took a moment to appreciate fully her breathtaking, and utterly simple beauty. :-)

The other end of my Natural Adventures unfolded at Questhaven...

The labyrinth awaits the walker. (11/11)

Star Altar. (11/11)

Here's where the rest of the pistachio shells came in handy. In the center of the star is my new Stibnite rod, being charged with Solar energy! :-)

The way to the Gnome Castle. (11/11)

The Gnome Castle. (11/11)

 You can see why this formation of rocks is called the "Gnome Castle." It's changed in the year and a half (or so) since I saw it last. There is a LOT of Earth/Fey energy concentrated here!

Charging on the Gnome Castle. (11/11)

Here's the Stibnite again (at the top), receiving some fabulous Fey energy. The small light triangular rock at the bottom was my offering; I left it behind.

Wise Stone Council. (11/11)

 

Further up from the Gnome Castle is this grouping of stones. Similar energy, but feels much older. With permission asked for and granted, I performed a quick ceremony...

Offering #2 (11/11)

...finishing off with this crow feather.
I would have stayed longer with the Wise Ones, but there are a pair of Electric towers at the very top of this particular hill. I don't think I was up there more than ten minutes before I became extremely nauseous - holy sensitivities, Batman!

In between, here's a wee taste of one of the communal ceremonies I partook of...

Lighting up the Night. (Escondido, 10/11)

It's a bit of a challenge to take pics during ceremonial events. You want to capture the beauty and awe, yet honor the privacy and sacredness of the moment, which picture-taking can disrupt. This pic was taken during a lull in the action, and with permission from the spirits overseeing the event. :-)

Now my focus shifts to what lies ahead: the start of the Transition on 11/11/11!

Destination Unknown. (Kit Carson Park, 10/11)

What does the future hold? Looks like we'll all find out together...

taking out MY garbage...

I knew I had some stuff to clear out of me. I didn't realize how stinky and smelly it would turn out to be! :-p

Finding the Sticky Bit in the Flow. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

That which I knew centered around some persnickety Cultural Conditioning that had not gone away and left me alone. I got my first inkling that something was up at the last Big Glow retreat that I attended. I found myself doing a really good imitation of a wailing banshee at one point - rather unexpected but very clearing - and I traced it to the notion that I have to Change Myself in order to be more Pleasing or Satisfactory for another. How interesting! The moment this crystallized into my Awareness, I felt SO unclean I had to shower At Once! Before Breakfast! Then I felt infinitely better. :-)
Once I was home again, I dug deeper. The second thing I found was the notion that There IS Someone for Everyone, but there's ONLY One. I saw that belief as illusory right away. To be frank, I don't see myself becoming a hot swinging Jaguar in my maturity, but I know that there is more than one for me to open myself up to and share my*self with. So I gathered that in and bound it up, but I felt that there was more than that still present.
I was right when I found the third notion, which is the biggie: I need to seek Validation Outside of Myself, for I don't always Trust Myself. Ah - here it is! This was also my gateway into clearings of a Trans-Personal nature, but I'll delve into that in a moment. This root notion spun off a fourth notion shortly thereafter - To be Validated, everyone has to like me. So I have to agree with what everyone says, or they won't like me anymore. Here's another one I saw as illusory right away, even though I had to remind myself of its truth. ;-)

The central Big Nasty Illusion. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

As I bound these together and began creating a Transformation Arrow to release them with, I stepped into Trans-Personal clearing aspects. By virtue of helping out a family friend through her search for a new job and home, I found myself suddenly wading hip-deep in Poverty Consciousness, that pesky illusion that there's Not Enough, there Won't Be Enough, and everyone is suffocating in Lack. It's very prevalent in society these days - and I found myself briefly wrapped up in a pity party when I perceived myself to be thwarted in some pursuits I wanted to engage in. The moment I realized what I was hosting in my Awareness, though, I snapped out of it. :-)
The other bit of Trans-Personal Work I was called to engage in was a bit more challenging to push through, as it had to do with beholding the Cruelty present in the world...man upon his animal siblings, and man upon his fellow man. The former came to me as I watched a video on what happens to animals in factory farms; the latter arrived in the most recent news from Libya. From this witnessing, I fashioned a rite to release the icky energies within my body and transmute the suffering, complete with a Ho'oponopono prayer to restore balance. (Let me know if you're interested in learning about it.)

These, too, have been added to my Transformation Arrow, in a rather satisfactory fashion, if I do say so myself. I shall be adding some black candle wax to the Arrow and burning it very soon.

Vehicle for Transformation. (at home, 10/11)

I took these things with me into the Moon Lodge, and have been staring down the Shadow in my private quiet time. Today is the first day in about a week that I've felt the shift into Something Different. The clouds are breaking apart and the sun is shining once more. Today is the day for lighting the lavender incense and finishing the airing out of the Moon Lodge.

Surfacing, yet again. (Encinitas, 1/11)

I am on the upswing once more, and grateful for it. :-)

On doing a Healingway for 9/11

The original Healingway image. (Naples, FL 6/11)

Ten years ago tomorrow, I was on my way to work. I turned on the classical station I was listening to at the time and was surprised not to hear music. Instead, I heard a news station relating what was unfolding on that day. What is going on? I thought to myself. Is this some kind of joke? Unfortunately, it was not.
There wasn't a whole lot of work done on September 11, 2001. Everyone was glued to the radio. (There might have been a telecast going on, but I don't remember where the TV was, if we had one.) I remember calling my mother to tell her, Something is happening in New York. Turn on the TV. She called me back shortly thereafter; she couldn't watch the news. It was too horrible. The mood at work, on the coast and at home, became very somber as the implications began to sink in for all of us.
I remember sitting outside, considering eating my lunch. I remember pondering the enormity of the events that happened on the East Coast. I remember feeling very sad, anxiety wanting to build within me - until I snapped myself out of it.
"You know what?" I said aloud, to no one in particular, "I Refuse to Be a Victim!"

In that moment, a small white feather floated across my vision, from somewhere above and to the left of me, landing to the right of me. I kid you not.
In that moment, the Power was switched on within me. Yes, I had been initiated as a Wiccan priestess a few months before, but in the moment I chose NOT to become entangled in the negative, a circuit was completed, a seed was planted, and that was the moment I began to take out my psychic gifts and USE them.
I Refuse to Be a Victim.

Fast forward ten years...
I see other people who also had the Power switched on within them, on that day and on all of the days since. Yet I also see many who have become stuck in Victimhood, or Grudge-Holding, or Fear-Mongering.
It occurred to me last year - enough is enough. It's high time this "9/11" energy was channeled in Positive ways, instead of being stuck in a repeating vicious cycle of fear and hatred. Some of us can even feel the buildup of energy leading up to 9/11; even if you can't, think about this - have you noticed, every year around this time, tempers become shorter, manners get tossed out the window more often, and people become downright mean and grouchy? Then we hit 9/13 and POOF! we're back to normal. (Sort of.) ;-)
I'm not asking anyone to forget what happened. There are valuable lessons that we've learned, and are still learning. For many, 9/11 was the day the veil of secrecy began to be pulled away from the Shadow Conspirators, whoever you might think they are. (That's a whole 'nother discussion, which can be saved for another time!)
What I am asking is: Isn't it time to Forgive? Isn't it time to Let Go? Isn't it time to drop the heavy bag of Grudges you've been carrying around? You're only damaging Your*self by holding on to the negativity and staying stuck in place. Releasing that which no longer serves you frees up LOTS of energy that can be used in more positive and abundant ways - and I've been on the Journey long enough to know of what I speak!

So this is why I've created the Great Healingway for tomorrow. I call it Reversing the Tide. I'm going to tap into the energy and inject some much-needed Brightness into the swirling Shadows. In doing so, I'm intending to open up a portal to allow much more Peace, Acceptance, Love, Compassion, Healing, and Support to flow into the Collective Consciousness, which will give a boost to the Ascension process currently in progress, leading up to the Big Stargate of 11/11/11. (There will be lots happening between then and now; I shall be posting updates as I receive them on my Wetware blog.)
I don't ask you, dear reader, to agree with me. I simply ask you to consider what I've said. If you do agree with me, you can join me one of two ways: either Live & In Person at Awakenings Center for Conscious Living, or telepathically from the comfort of your own home. The ceremony will unfold from 2:30pm to 4:30pm, Pacific Time; you can hold space with me for two minutes, two hours, or anything in between.

Together, We Are the Change We Seek. Never forget this! :-)