taking out MY garbage...

I knew I had some stuff to clear out of me. I didn't realize how stinky and smelly it would turn out to be! :-p

Finding the Sticky Bit in the Flow. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

That which I knew centered around some persnickety Cultural Conditioning that had not gone away and left me alone. I got my first inkling that something was up at the last Big Glow retreat that I attended. I found myself doing a really good imitation of a wailing banshee at one point - rather unexpected but very clearing - and I traced it to the notion that I have to Change Myself in order to be more Pleasing or Satisfactory for another. How interesting! The moment this crystallized into my Awareness, I felt SO unclean I had to shower At Once! Before Breakfast! Then I felt infinitely better. :-)
Once I was home again, I dug deeper. The second thing I found was the notion that There IS Someone for Everyone, but there's ONLY One. I saw that belief as illusory right away. To be frank, I don't see myself becoming a hot swinging Jaguar in my maturity, but I know that there is more than one for me to open myself up to and share my*self with. So I gathered that in and bound it up, but I felt that there was more than that still present.
I was right when I found the third notion, which is the biggie: I need to seek Validation Outside of Myself, for I don't always Trust Myself. Ah - here it is! This was also my gateway into clearings of a Trans-Personal nature, but I'll delve into that in a moment. This root notion spun off a fourth notion shortly thereafter - To be Validated, everyone has to like me. So I have to agree with what everyone says, or they won't like me anymore. Here's another one I saw as illusory right away, even though I had to remind myself of its truth. ;-)

The central Big Nasty Illusion. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

As I bound these together and began creating a Transformation Arrow to release them with, I stepped into Trans-Personal clearing aspects. By virtue of helping out a family friend through her search for a new job and home, I found myself suddenly wading hip-deep in Poverty Consciousness, that pesky illusion that there's Not Enough, there Won't Be Enough, and everyone is suffocating in Lack. It's very prevalent in society these days - and I found myself briefly wrapped up in a pity party when I perceived myself to be thwarted in some pursuits I wanted to engage in. The moment I realized what I was hosting in my Awareness, though, I snapped out of it. :-)
The other bit of Trans-Personal Work I was called to engage in was a bit more challenging to push through, as it had to do with beholding the Cruelty present in the world...man upon his animal siblings, and man upon his fellow man. The former came to me as I watched a video on what happens to animals in factory farms; the latter arrived in the most recent news from Libya. From this witnessing, I fashioned a rite to release the icky energies within my body and transmute the suffering, complete with a Ho'oponopono prayer to restore balance. (Let me know if you're interested in learning about it.)

These, too, have been added to my Transformation Arrow, in a rather satisfactory fashion, if I do say so myself. I shall be adding some black candle wax to the Arrow and burning it very soon.

Vehicle for Transformation. (at home, 10/11)

I took these things with me into the Moon Lodge, and have been staring down the Shadow in my private quiet time. Today is the first day in about a week that I've felt the shift into Something Different. The clouds are breaking apart and the sun is shining once more. Today is the day for lighting the lavender incense and finishing the airing out of the Moon Lodge.

Surfacing, yet again. (Encinitas, 1/11)

I am on the upswing once more, and grateful for it. :-)

On doing a Healingway for 9/11

The original Healingway image. (Naples, FL 6/11)

Ten years ago tomorrow, I was on my way to work. I turned on the classical station I was listening to at the time and was surprised not to hear music. Instead, I heard a news station relating what was unfolding on that day. What is going on? I thought to myself. Is this some kind of joke? Unfortunately, it was not.
There wasn't a whole lot of work done on September 11, 2001. Everyone was glued to the radio. (There might have been a telecast going on, but I don't remember where the TV was, if we had one.) I remember calling my mother to tell her, Something is happening in New York. Turn on the TV. She called me back shortly thereafter; she couldn't watch the news. It was too horrible. The mood at work, on the coast and at home, became very somber as the implications began to sink in for all of us.
I remember sitting outside, considering eating my lunch. I remember pondering the enormity of the events that happened on the East Coast. I remember feeling very sad, anxiety wanting to build within me - until I snapped myself out of it.
"You know what?" I said aloud, to no one in particular, "I Refuse to Be a Victim!"

In that moment, a small white feather floated across my vision, from somewhere above and to the left of me, landing to the right of me. I kid you not.
In that moment, the Power was switched on within me. Yes, I had been initiated as a Wiccan priestess a few months before, but in the moment I chose NOT to become entangled in the negative, a circuit was completed, a seed was planted, and that was the moment I began to take out my psychic gifts and USE them.
I Refuse to Be a Victim.

Fast forward ten years...
I see other people who also had the Power switched on within them, on that day and on all of the days since. Yet I also see many who have become stuck in Victimhood, or Grudge-Holding, or Fear-Mongering.
It occurred to me last year - enough is enough. It's high time this "9/11" energy was channeled in Positive ways, instead of being stuck in a repeating vicious cycle of fear and hatred. Some of us can even feel the buildup of energy leading up to 9/11; even if you can't, think about this - have you noticed, every year around this time, tempers become shorter, manners get tossed out the window more often, and people become downright mean and grouchy? Then we hit 9/13 and POOF! we're back to normal. (Sort of.) ;-)
I'm not asking anyone to forget what happened. There are valuable lessons that we've learned, and are still learning. For many, 9/11 was the day the veil of secrecy began to be pulled away from the Shadow Conspirators, whoever you might think they are. (That's a whole 'nother discussion, which can be saved for another time!)
What I am asking is: Isn't it time to Forgive? Isn't it time to Let Go? Isn't it time to drop the heavy bag of Grudges you've been carrying around? You're only damaging Your*self by holding on to the negativity and staying stuck in place. Releasing that which no longer serves you frees up LOTS of energy that can be used in more positive and abundant ways - and I've been on the Journey long enough to know of what I speak!

So this is why I've created the Great Healingway for tomorrow. I call it Reversing the Tide. I'm going to tap into the energy and inject some much-needed Brightness into the swirling Shadows. In doing so, I'm intending to open up a portal to allow much more Peace, Acceptance, Love, Compassion, Healing, and Support to flow into the Collective Consciousness, which will give a boost to the Ascension process currently in progress, leading up to the Big Stargate of 11/11/11. (There will be lots happening between then and now; I shall be posting updates as I receive them on my Wetware blog.)
I don't ask you, dear reader, to agree with me. I simply ask you to consider what I've said. If you do agree with me, you can join me one of two ways: either Live & In Person at Awakenings Center for Conscious Living, or telepathically from the comfort of your own home. The ceremony will unfold from 2:30pm to 4:30pm, Pacific Time; you can hold space with me for two minutes, two hours, or anything in between.

Together, We Are the Change We Seek. Never forget this! :-)

Change-Up

I must say, the Fifth Night was very interesting to go through.

I experienced my own version of the "Opposite Sketch" that I saw everyone else entering with the major energetic shift...I found that the very thing I've been trying to Fix, Change, and Transmute within me for the past I-don't-know-HOW-long has been the very thing that doesn't need to be Fixed, Changed, or Transmuted! She feels out of sorts because the world is out of sorts. She has felt "out of place" because places that truly honor Pure Innocence are precious few and very far between right now. She feels cranky and upset that things aren't going more "her way" because she's already there, in that shiny new place, and doesn't quite understand what all the fuss is about here, with this whole "in the fullness of time" business.
I can finally see: I, too, have Star Medicine running through my veins.
I can finally see: I, who have been encouraging other "Star Children" to stick around in this reality, because they carry such rare and valuable treasures that are really needed here and now, haven't given that same encouragement to the one who needs it the most: ME.
Finally, I've come to the place where I truly and Unconditionally Love & Accept My*Self - and the Universe shifted with me. Whoa.

Representing the Unconditionally Loving Heart. (Naples, FL 6/11)

With this Universal Shift came a much-needed Wake-Up call for my journey...
After the umpteenth (slightly heated) discussion with my mother about money and financial issues, I sat down, looked at the bank account, looked at the numbers, crunched them for a while, and came to my own version of "An Inconvenient Truth" - in roughly nine months, at the rate we're going now, the money "safety net" is going to disappear. I have that long to Real-Ize my dreams, in one form or another.
Oddly enough, I wasn't frightened by that Moment of Illumination. My first thought: Thank you, Great Mother, for giving me a definitive timeline for me to act. My second thought: Ooh. Nine months. Tres symbolic! :-)
Just as Mercury Retrograde was ending, and the moon turned from waning to waxing, I concentrated my energy and went to Work. My first result: the creation of an "official" Website for myself. Easier - and WAY cheaper - than I was dreading! Huzzah! I am grateful and overwhelmed by the support I've gotten for it thus far.
I am opening myself to explore all options to increase my prosperity, including those in the muggle workforce once more. At this moment, it looks like I'm going to be best served by a mix of mystic and muggle sources of income...at least, while we have this Agreement that we call "the economy" in place. Already, I've gotten nibbles of interest in both of these areas; again, Huzzah!

Feeling, and Seeing, the possibilities Blooming before me! (Naples, FL 6/11)

With definitive action being taken to REAL-ize my dreams, I felt the Veil of Negative Apathy being dashed from my soul. With the (energetic) shift from introversion to extroversion, I am feeling inspired and motivated anew. There are no worries; I will be fully financially supported Well Before the nine months are up! The exciting part is going to be what else I'm going to birth out of this explosion of Creative Force...A-ho! :-)

(Mostly) Enjoying the Ride.

As I've mentioned on my Wetware blog and on Facebook, it's been a "wild ride" for many people this month. I've been on the ride too...and for the most part, I've been enjoying it.

As the energetic party was getting started, I was in the rolling hills of southwestern Pennsylvania, enjoying the company of my Big Glow siblings at a place called Wild Meadows Farm. It's a real farm. With a real Barn.

The Barn. (Pennsylvania, 7/11)

As it was the eve of Lammas, the First Harvest, there was indeed a harvest inside. I think they're onions...

Drying the Harvest. (Pennsylvania, 7/11)

The event took place within reach of a Mixed Energy vortex. This is significant because 1) You interact with the energies in ways that may be the opposite of what you expect, and 2) All of the energies around the property were heightened by the combination of the New (blue) Moon, significant Solar Flares, and the beginning of a major overall power surge. My experience was a good one at the retreat, I can tell y'all that.

The party really kicked into high gear once I returned home. The anniversary of my dad's passing (speaking of energetic vortices) came just after Mercury went Retrograde. I found myself very soft and still - and Very Hungry! I used some Mindful Eating to keep myself under control and in the eye of the proverbial storm. From this center-point, I saw a LOT of people Awakening, many of my friends finding themselves moving up several levels on their journeys in the blink (or two) of an eye! Many of my other friends found themselves in particularly nasty pickles that seemed to arise "out of nowhere." And let's not forget the turbulent times in the States and overseas in England!

We're all in this together, supporting one another. (Naples, FL 6/11)

After a dynamic start, I found myself moving Between the Worlds.What this means for me is sleeping many hours in the evening, and not always waking up completely in the morning. There have been days I've been draggin' along the Whole Damn Day...and a sleepy bear can be a very grumpy bear. I did, however, apologize after the worst of the outbursts. I also took my own advise and hied my hee out into Nature.

How can you feel grumpy HERE? :-) (Questhaven, 8/11)

With the shifting of the overall energies comes a return to a more bright-eyed and bushy-tailed state of existing. Okay, realizing I've been craving more protein in my diet was a factor as well; adding more nuts and beans to my diet is producing noticeable results. I also attempted to add some dairy, but that went over like a fart in church. Looks like I'm ready to wean myself from the cow for good! (no offense to all the cow divinities...)
Now I am finishing moving through the death/birthdates of my grandmother. Now I'm Working on my Third Eye/sixth chakra, clearing out illusory & fear*full Visions. Now I've just sun-brewed some jasmine green tea that tastes delicious! :-q Now I'm ready(ing) myself to ride the next wave...right alongside all y'all.

The sun has begun to rise again... :-) (Naples, FL 6/11)

Prior Steps on the Healingway

Let me back up a little bit in time, for I'm not sure if I would have gone to the first Cuddle Party had I not had a trio of Awesome experiences during my Grand Adventure. (Okay, the whole blessed trip was one big Healingway, BUT these three events stand out in my memory. So there.)

The first moment unfolded in South Carolina, just outside of Charleston. I met Angel Oak...The. Most. Impressive. Tree. EVAH!

Is this not IMPRESSIVE! (South Carolina, 5/11)

She is the oldest tree east of the Rockies; only the Sequoias (I believe) could give her a run for her money. We're talking centuries here, people! Her energy is magnificent...yet that word barely describes it. Introductions made, permission granted, I placed my hands upon her massive trunk and all but burst into tears. (Had it been just the two of us, I would have.) I didn't have to make a single request; she said to me, Give me your grief. Give me your tension...and she TOOK it. (Yea, I had come to her with a turbulent heart, no matter what story I was telling myself.) She drew all of my low frequency vibration into herself and grounded it through her roots, over and over again, until I was empty. I thanked her by reaching into my special pouch and pulling out offerings for her: a rosebud. A piece of bark from my Oak Friend at Questhaven. My Mystery Rock, which had come East with me - and which I knew, somehow, would not return home to California. I laid it at the base of her trunk. I left the circle open in the West - for the circle must remain open, until I return to the East permanently. Which I will.

Then I brought my awareness back into myself and walked around her to the other side, where I was gobsmacked anew...

This is actually one of her BRANCHES! (South Carolina, 5/11)

Have I mentioned that I found her impressive?
I found myself running my hands along one of the lower parts of this branch, again asking permission to touch her. This time, when my hands stilled on her rough bark surface, energy flowed into me - the gentle serene energy very old trees have. She emptied me, and she filled me back up, without me having to request a thing! I'm surprised my friends didn't have to hold my hands on the way back to the car, lest I floated away! (LOL) I hold deep gratitude for her in my heart...and totally recommend a visit with her at least once in your life. Just be aware, her caretakers don't like folks crawling about in or on her branches, because of her advanced age. Honor and respect their wishes, please and thank you. You won't need to do any climbing anyway. :-)

The earth healed me. The water healed me too. While I was at the beach, I ran into the ocean at the end of every day. I cleansed myself and renewed myself in the womb of Grandmother Ocean. Four days, four dips - one Healing.

The gull pretends not to watch. (Folly Beach, SC 5/11)

It wasn't just the ocean that spoke to me, it was the myriad of creeks that run beside the roads and past the homes of Gerton, NC. One in particular led me to my final significant moment...

A Connecticut Yankee and two California Ninjas. (Gerton, NC 6/11)

My sister Priestess is seen upon the stone I would sit upon to listen to the creek and feel her energy. I found myself moving into trance, and sinking into the water in a higher dimension. I didn't become the water, I became the rocks in the water. This is what I felt:

The Water of Life moves past me, moves around me, moves within me.

She washes me clean of all that I no longer need, of all I release in sweet surrender.

She brings to me everything I ask for, and more; I can take what suits me and let the rest flow away.

She might dislodge me, but I will move forward in her flow, until I find my new place.

Then I will gently slow and stop, and open myself to feel her flow once more.

Here's the thing: I had a knot of energy in my body, by my left hip. I had been carrying this knot within me for some time, even before my Grand Adventure. As I felt the current of the water flow around and through me, the knot loosened, dissolved, and was washed away. It has not returned. I KNOW, in complete certainty, that I was Healed on that day, in that moment. Again, I am deeply grateful and thankful; I left an offering of my gratitude - sage and tobacco, sprinkled into the river.

One amusing footnote: just before we left, I dipped my cap into the creek to scoop up some of the water and plopped it quickly on my head. A shock of cold water burst upon my head and made its way down my body as I gasped in surprise, "It's Cold! The water is Cold!" 

Yeah, I'm totally a city girl.

For now.