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| Blooming in Beauty. (@ Home, 1/12) |
My Winter was bracketed with some physical adjustments: a bout of the Creeping Crud at the start of the season, and a bout at the end of the season. In between coughing and sneezing and blowing snot out of my nose by the gallon (so it seemed both times!), the remainder of the Old Reality left my system.
I come from a family of fundamentalists; they who see "only one way" to walk through life, and if you're not walking the path that they are, well, it doesn't matter what you do or how you do it, it's "all wrong" because it's not "their" way. Even after all of the shapeshifting I did in 2012 - on top of everything that has changed in my life since I began to walk the Path of Spirit in 1998 - the fundamentalism was still there...and I didn't like it. I asked for it to be removed from me, and the illnesses that I experienced, I believe, did just that.
A funny thing happened with that removal process: I lost my life-purpose.
Especially toward the end of 2012, I felt a sense of urgency in my life, to get Information out into the world "right now," or it would be "too late." Anything that got in the way of doing that (like my muggle job) would contribute to my time anxiety, especially after I detached from moving in linear time pretty well completely! After the Winter Solstice, and the conclusion of the Time of Transition, the urgency was gone - and so was the need to get Information out into the world!
It didn't occur to me until recently...the urgency was attached to a need to get out and "fix" everyone by unsticking them from their Shadows. I saw the world as broken and I needed to save it; if that's not a fundamentalist ideal, I don't know what is! When I released the Old Reality within me, I released the need to save the world by fixing everyone...and now there's a lot of Empty Space within me. This is a Very Good Thing. :-)
In losing my life-purpose, I was able to start reconnecting to my soul-purpose: To Create and Share My Creations.
I've known my soul purpose all along, but it got shoved to the back of my mind while my book, my teaching/ceremonial circles, my muggle job, and my juicy new relationship all jostled for the top spot on my to-be-and-do list. Many rigid boundaries I had been holding onto were also dissolved in the massive amount of shapeshifting I went through last year, particularly between the Summer and Winter Solstices. I arrived in the Springtime way more amorphous and open than I have been in the past - and the still soft voices have been easier to hear.
I want to Create. I want to get my Craft on. I want to make things with my hands. I can hear my inside child knocking on the door of my mind, wanting to know if she can come in and play. PLAY! I could use a lot more Play in my life, since I still have the nasty habit of taking things Way Too Seriously. (It's a Puritanical thing. I'm working on clearing that out next.)
I'm not releasing the Priestess part of me forever - you know, She Who Will Heal the World with Her Magick. She is stepping aside to take a break. Many people are being dragged kicking and screaming into the New Reality right now, and very few are wanting to hear advice on how to proceed. Fewer still are willing to act upon said advice. When the time is right, the Priestess will resurface...in the meantime, I will be in my little casita in the West, wielding my hot glue gun and making funky-cool objects d'art, my Beloved by my side and my posse of cats at my door.
Oh yes, ze kitties - I currently entertain a crew of four part-time cats who drop by for the apparently superior munchies we dole out. One of these four cats may become the next full time cat. I'll update that part of my story once I actually get some pix of the kittehs, then actually upload them onto my computer!
I am moving out the In-Between phase and finally starting to hear the New Rhythms. Soon I shall be moving to them. In the meantime, the Divine scent of Jasmine is filling the air... :-)
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| Sweet Perfume (@ Home, 3/10) |
