me too...

"Reversing the Tide." (Encinitas, 7/10)
The flower above is a metaphor. Normally, they bloom very black; however, I can "choose" what color the flower within me is going to bloom...

I'm not just dipping my hand into the energetic pools that underpin the Universe and telling y'all how the water tastes. I drink these handfuls and do the Work alongside everyone as well.

This Mercury Retrograde tapped me on the shoulder and brought something to my attention: there has been one Shadow following me around on tiptoe since 2002. I've called it different things over the years...my Kundalini Hunger. Sacred Fire. Receiving Love Generously. Awaiting my Beloved. After all, I was born a Woman, and I have the same dreams and desires (and doubts) that every other woman possesses, whether or not we choose to admit that we're carrying them!
It's not just about entering Right Relationship, though. It's also about recognizing and honoring my softer, more gentle feminine side. More, still - I need to give her the space she's been craving to breathe and move and dance, to express herself openly, boldly, and In Public! :-o
She has come up with every other Shadow I've worked with in my curious, intense, and miraculous process of Spiritual Alchemy, but until this waning moon, I've never fully resolved her.
"We shall lift each other up." (Balboa Park, 7/09)

It's taken finding my home tribe, and allowing myself to be supported by their Unconditional Acceptance. It's taken shifting my shape, dropping a crazy-good amount of weight and letting go of stuff like sugar and gluten and dairy once and for all. It's taken the full real-I-zation of my Authentic Power in the safe space that is co-created through true heart-centered community.

When I went into the Moon Lodge this past week(ish) and began to bleed, I dove in. I dove deep.
In the heart of Darkness, I raised this Shadow into the light of my full Awareness. I saw where I was stuck and I allowed her to Speak True...and there was an adjustment. I felt it in my body, the release of sticking tensions, a realignment and relaxation of lower-chakra energies.
Tossing the labels of "masculine" and "feminine" out the window, I simply asked for Authenticity - and I got it.
I. Got. It.
The gentle lotus of yin has bloomed within me, and the fragrance is exquisitely sweet!
Welcome Home. (Encinitas, 7/10)

The rest, as the moon wanes and renews, is weaving this energy in with all my other threads, and finding a new balance point.
The rest, as Mercury returns to a direct journey through the stars, is to find new ways of expressing this femininity outwardly. Let me see...bright colors slightly outside my usual palette, swirling skirts, and a pink cowgirl hat that "clashes" with everything else I own. These sound like good starting points.
Or maybe I'll pair that brown tank top that frills down at the edges with my new brown leggings and don a pair of pixie-wings... ;-)