Friday, September 17, 2010

three "p-words"

No, these are not going to be words that would get your mouth washed out with soap if your mom or dad heard you say them.
I'll introduce you to two of these three words right now: Procrastination and Perfection.

I have joked off and on about being a "recovering perfectionist," but it appears it's been no joke. These two things have been holding me back - a realization that's come fully into my awareness with this lunation, when I was all ready for Go-Time to help me take off...and I find myself still sputtering along, by and large.

To paraphrase the wise and wonderful SARK, who has such excellent descriptions of these two Shadows: Procrastination says "Not Now" and Perfection says "Not Yet." Procrastination has been following Perfection's lead like a good little Shadow, very eager and supportive.
Perfection has been whispering in my ear, You need to wait until you've left home. You need to wait until this event (or that event) has unfolded. You need to wait until all of your Shadow-stuff has been Resolved. You need to wait until all of your talents have been fully realized.
Darling Shadow, if I keep waiting for the "perfect whatever," I will be perfectly DEAD, and kicking myself in the Afterlife for Not Acting when I had the perfect opportunity - while I still drew breath into my denser flesh-body!

When I brought this up, I was shown their motivation, which is the third "p-word" that is relevant to this moment: Protection. This is something I'm very familiar with, having done some rather interesting things (in various lifetimes besides this one!) out of a heightened need for what could be called "Self-Preservation."
This pair of Shadows simply wants to protect me from all things that might be considered "bad," such as failure, humiliation, lawsuits, and (gods forfend!) assaults upon my person. Um, darlings, I'm not stupid, for one...and I run Dragon energy, for another. I think I know a thing or two about defending myself from various forms of assault!
I do, however, appreciate their concern. This also proves one of Debbie Ford's excellent points: Shadows are often protective mechanisms that have run amok, and need to be revised (at least) or dismantled (at most). I think I'm somewhere in the middle with these two.

They mean well - but at some point, I need to "risk" failure if I'm to gain success. Time for this snake to shed her skin, and release these Shadows... :-)

No comments:

Post a Comment