|Envisioning by the River. (Gerton, NC 4/12)|
Gaia's message for this month, according to my Oracle deck, was this: You can create your life. Envision what you desire it to be. Sounds easy, right? Not if one of your Core Shadows is working behind the scenes to sabotage you...
At the end of April I was doing a lot of Envisioning, specifically around how to return to Asheville, NC (and surrounding environs) for good. I think it's safe to say I got so caught up in the envisioning that I almost forgot to envision a way home post-retreat! Were it not for a most generous offer of transportation from some very good friends, I would have been in a most sticky wicket indeed - and therein I could spy the Shadow at work.
First off, this aspect believed she was trapped in "surviving" her life, allowed to do "only" the necessary and needful amount of work to keep her chin above water, thus being prevented from doing that which truly nourished her soul and fed her happiness. Second - and more importantly - she believed that the work that needed to be done was Too Much for her to do. I can't do it by myself, she would say, I need someone to do at least some of the work for me. In her/my darkest moments, I believed I needed someone else to do ALL the work for me. Can we talk about Giving Away the Power here?
Halfway through the month, I was shown a Vision, very simple, but very Power*full as well: I saw all of my perceived difficulties as a large dark pile of Stuff. These were all the limitations I saw standing between me and my desires. They towered above my head. Then came the words, Now, Watch...and the large pile of stuff began to shrink and grow transparent. In the next moment, I saw that I could step around the pile, over the pile, or - when the pile grew transparent enough - through it. The lesson? My perceptions were just those: Perceptions, not necessarily corresponding with reality! In that instant, without a whole lot of conscious thought, I Got It. Let me see past the supposed obstacles to the True Reality, and go from there!
In the meantime, my reality became more interesting: a new opportunity at my muggle work was practically dropped into my lap when I returned from the retreat. I thought about it, felt into it, and was a bit surprised when the answer that came back to me was a YES - seize this opportunity! So I did...and at the end of the month, I was informed that I would be promoted to supervisor, with my training starting on June 1st. Well and so! With clear Vision and a new path before me, I prepared to embark on the next phase of my journey.