Friday, December 28, 2007

reflection

Taking a few moments to breathe and comport myself as day folds into night...

This has been a year, traveling way out of my comfort zone, both within and without!
I quit the cushy "comfortable" job and found my way back to the past.
I have been to Australia, and allowed its "future-time" energy wash over me & through me.
I have sorted through my DNA, releasing junk left over from my parents.
I have transmuted that which I thought would be unalterable, and I have found a place now that I bypassed earlier in all of that shifting, and am focusing all of my attention here, and bringing about gentle healing change.
And now, after all of this transformation - now the time for action is waiting in the wings, with the new year.
In a way, I shall be starting from scratch, redux.
And in a way, the booster rockets have detached, and are falling back into gravity's embrace.
I shall take the message I received at the start of 2007 and set it atop 2008: Let your Voice lead the Way.
Lead me, Creatrix, and I shall follow...

Friday, December 21, 2007

deep in the night

As I commence, it's just after midnight my time.

I am close to finishing reading The Chalice & The Blade by Riane Eisler, and oh-dear-gods it's stirred up major stuff within me! I'm in the middle of some heavy-duty processing (yet again! lol) which I will be talking more about later, mayhap after the muggle New Year, mayhap sooner. I'm not sure yet.

I'm also close to finishing a collage, on a large red poster board. It's a companion piece, in a way, to a large collage I did a few years ago on a white board I called "Return to Innocence" that is filled with pictures of children, especially (happy) girls. Piece No. 2 on the red board is, perhaps, that little girl grown up and into her own power, her own sensual body. I am finding it's equal parts self-portrait & manifestation board; I'm deeply comfortable in my own skin, yet there is a certain bodacious quality within me that has not yet fully emerged to the surface...

It is no accident that these two things are happening at the same time.
It is no accident that I'm doing this Work just before the Longest Night, when the year is coming to a close and the darkness invites us to go within, to step into the Between & see what comes forward to be transmuted in the shifting of the seasonal energies...

I have gone all the way to the back of the Womb~Cave, yet Mother Bear advises that there is more to the journey. All the way to the Center...

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

words

Over the weekend, one of my favorite Internet hang-outs transferred their message board over to a new forum. They announced this well in advance, and advised us to save anything we wanted to beforehand, because everything in the old forum would be inaccessible post-transfer.
So I thought about it for a moment - and realized the only thing I wanted to save was my e-journal, my "other blog," because it chronicled so much of my journey. This I have done, and now it's on my computer as a huge Word document.

During the uncertainty of the fires in October, when we weren't sure if we'd have to flee our homes at a moment's notice, mother & I agreed to pack the photo albums - and the big bag containing all of my journals, dating back to 1998, when I began to put pen to paper in order to write about the path I was walking back unto my*self.

As I consider releasing my grip on "attachment," I find that I am not ready to detach from my words. I want to preserve this journey of mine...partly so I can solidify those experiences which might otherwise slip out of my mind, partly so I can use this mother lode of Events Recorded to explain to others what I have done, and how I did it, so they can do it too.

One of my New Year's resolutions will be to read through all of my journals. I know this because I've had it on my list for two years now. This will be the third year. ;-)

It's interesting how I value my words over most of my material possessions...and how I value some of my words more than others. I have written several science-fiction stories, two of them full-length novels, yet I was perfectly willing to let them go over my journals.

To paraphrase - perhaps I've not yet begun to write.