Friday, April 16, 2010

How clean IS my slate?!

A flower in bloom that is keeping me company. @Home, 4/10

Flowers have been speaking to me in bloom.
They've made their way to my collages - my eye has been drawn to select them, trim the excess paper from them, paste them onto posterboards.
The little flower above had been separated from its mother plant; I rescued it and gave it some water to drink. The stem has straightened out, so it's blooming straight up right now, but it hasn't faded yet. :-)
I've also had the pleasure of seeing and smelling roses in bloom on my way to and from my mailboxes. Roses and lotuses - two of my favorite flowers. Each speaks to me in different ways: roses represent the Divine Feminine for me, specifically in the aspect of Mary, the Blessed Mother & Wife. Lotus is the energy of rising above the muck and blooming anyway; it carries more of Quan Yin's energy. (As Mary and Quan Yin are often associated with each other, though, perhaps it's really the same way both flowers speak to me. Things that make me go hmm...)

The flowers are speaking to me significantly in this moment because I feel like I'm blooming, after a long cold Winter...blooming as I float gently in the Void before Creation. And like the flower, there's no real agenda, no pressing cosmic "to-do" list lurking in the back of my mind - just be*ing in the process of opening up, spreading petals wide, and soaking in the energy of the sun...which feels totally alien and foreign to me. Not in a bad way, mind you, but this is definitely a new flavor of experience!

As I've transitioned out of my "old" life and allowed everything to realign within me post-Soul Retrieval, I've come to realize something significant is no longer present in my personal modus operandi. I can see how I used to operate from a very polarized vision of life; I was very much a "this-or-nothing" woman when I spun out my dreams and attached expectations to them.
I was creating my role as a Priestess in the world - but I wouldn't be able to realize my dreams fully unless and until I had relocated to a different part of the country, maybe even a different country altogether! I felt I needed to run away from where I am to a utopian place "out there" before I could allow myself to manifest my dreams to their fullest extent...and I didn't realize how deeply that need to run away was rooted within me until I woke up recently and noted its absence!

I note that I have loosened my grip and unclenched my hands. No longer am I resisting the Present Moment, what is around me Right Now; I see that I can do the necessary Work of being a Priestess here, where I am now, just as well as I can anywhere else...and that's a very good thing! :-)
Yet with shifting out of the polarity, I seem to have misplaced my ambition. The tension that ultimately served to sabotage me also sustained me in my creativity; as I've released the tension and relaxed into the Void before Creation, my need to DO the Work has evaporated.
So now I pause and wonder: how does someone who is so content just to BE find the inspiration and motivation to DO, and fulfill her destiny? Where does the flower find its motivation to create the sweet nectar that will entice the bee to come and pollinate?

I gently ponder these questions under the aegis of the new moon, as she begins her latest journey of waxing to fullness. Perhaps I will follow her lead... :-)


  1. Hi there! Found your blog through She Writes and I love it. I am now following. Hope you will check out my blog Confessions of a Cluttered Mind...if you like what you see, I hope you follow me too! Great writing! Thanks!


  2. It's good to read of your work and path! Thank you for sharing!