Saturday, March 13, 2010

still afloat in the sea of overwhelm

They who pray upon Grandmother Ocean's bosom. Encinitas, 11/09

This image speaks to me right now, where I am at.
I am floating on a vast sea, an overwhelming sea.
Sometimes the waves come, and I can ride them; other times, the waves knock me off my board, and I plunge into the water...yet I here I am, bobbing back to the surface once more.

Mother thinks it's because my internal timeclock is completely skewed by these graveyard shifts I'm working - fewer now than when I started, but I still need to make that shifting of my shape on Wednesdays. Friends of mine believe that the earth's energies are shifting, and that those who are in any way sensitive to those energies - like me, apparently! - will feel the push and pull as well. I also consider that there has been much death recently, in my "real-life" community and in my online one...people I knew, people connected to people I knew, tragic realities striking close to home.
I'm also one to embody energy from collectives, small and large, and express it through me: screaming and sobbing, as well as joyous and blissful. Again, a recent discovery.

Any of these things, in and of themselves, would serve to throw me off; ALL of these things add up to a much greater whole, looking like a vast sea of overwhelm!
My body even confirms this, with my uber-wonderful & intuitive massage therapist noting that my liver is swollen, overwhelmed by trying to keep me detoxed and healthy...confirmation that I am indeed pushed to my limits, on all levels.

One moment, I am pitched into the overwhelm, and it surges up within me and surrounds me and consumes me. So very tired and wrung out and BLAH, I am! But the next moment...
The next moment, I remember:
I remember that I am about two weeks away from leaving my job and moving up to the Next Level in my life.
I remember that I have a homecoming with my soul family, my beloved Lightworking Tribe, for Easter weekend. Rebirthing, indeed!
I remember that I have been through far worse, yet I am still here! Fall down seven times, rise eight. :-)
I remember that I have a few tricks up my sleeve, like milk thistle and broccoli and grapefruit juice to help my liver physically - like bloodstone and brown jasper to help me energetically - like finding the root of my anger and releasing it with "unsent letters" to help me emotionally!
Most of all, I remember how to find the amusing components in all of this turmoil and flux. Should I ever lose my sense of humor, run. fast. and far away, because that means the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (not of professional wrestling) are coming! ;-)

I'm just really happy that there's a New Moon on Monday, like Duran Duran sings about...and that Ostara, the Spring Equinox, will follow shortly thereafter - and in the meantime, we'll start getting some REAL springlike weather in Southern California! Laugh all you want, those who don't live here, but SoCal peeps are just not accustomed to polar winds blowing directly from Alaska! (It wouldn't surprise me if Sarah Palin had something to do with this. Just sayin')

As you can see, I've gotten back on my surfboard now, ready for another round.
Unlike the surfers above, though, I'm looking forward to calmer seas. Word.

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