On the way to an "unknown" destination. (Questhaven, 2/10)
After my Soul Retrieval in December, a journey came to a conclusion, yes...but a new journey has begun.
For the first lunation (lunar month) afterwards, I was concerned with doing as much nothing as I could get away with, and resting a LOT. Bringing home these last lost bits of soul meant revamping my entire structure; things within me moved, shifted, and pretty well changed to fit the new/old structure. It's new for me in this incarnation, but I'd be willing to bet money in Vegas that I'm simply returning to the structure I originally incarnated with, all those moons ago.
Now as the second lunation comes to a conclusion, I find the theme has been realignment. It's like I'm sorting through everything and saying, "okay, I'm keeping these things, I'm releasing those things, and the pile right in front of me is what I'm going to work my alchemical magick on before I determine whether or not I'm going to keep it."
The Universe is helping me out by removing me from my usual routine and flipping everything in my life around - that's how I'm choosing to see the whole "graveyard" experience, at any rate.
So I've been experiencing a few purges lately, and shifting radically between extremes: now feeling small and scared, now feeling big and confident. I've had a panic attack while driving through hail and I've felt completely at home in the middle of Nature's holy wilderness. Last night I was at the Goddess Temple, drinking in lovely energy...then had to stop on the way home to have a huge releasing episode in the ladies' room! (To circumvent tmi, I'll spare y'all the details.) ;-)
I thought at one point I'd clear everything up with my Soul Retrieval. Not necessarily.
I've cleared out the distractions to focus on what is holding me back - those beliefs which would still limit me and keep me small. I have a handful remaining, but all of them are centered around a central theme: If I allow my light to shine too brightly, I will be obliterated. This is the flaw that runs through the crystal - the fear of Judgment/Rejection/Mortality. This is my scar.
Pre-Retrieval, I had no idea where it came from, only that it ran deep. Post-Retrieval, the source of the scar was revealed, and healed. Now it's time to take the healing from the source and run it along the rest of the scar. I can do this. I must do this - for I'm not just doing this Work for me. I'm doing it for the Collective.
Let Persephone show me the way through the time of Darkness and Death, and back to the Light of Rebirth and Renewal...