confession time...

I think I finally put two and two together, though it's been obvious for a while...

Every job I've had, there's come a time where I feel "trapped" in it.
I haven't found that one job that fills me with enthusiastic joy, where I can't wait to get to work that day.
What I think I need to do is temp.
I've flirted with the idea before, but I've been reluctant to commit to temping. The last time, because I wanted "only" part-time work.
Now, though, I've grown up a little. ;-)

I see that I can put up with pretty much anything as long as I know it will come to an end eventually - maybe not today, or tomorrow, or even next month, but it's not "forever."

So here's the plan right now:
Work at the answering service till May. Put in my notice May 1st. Have a week of downtime before I make a very special Spiritual Journey with one of my co-conspirators to Utah. Come June, I hit the temp agencies, when summer jobs begin to open up.

By that time, temping should be only one piece of my income puzzle. :-)

stuff

Boy howdy, it's been a strange one!

First, I can now expand on the woman*stuff that I've been processing...
I have brought my awareness into this being a woman in this lifetime. I have brought the Earth & Star energies within me into greater harmony. During the new moon that began this year, I felt myself sinking into my body, taking root in it still further. As I reconnect with my woman*self, I understand, more & more, the struggles & the suppression that women have faced under the power-over dominator paradigm. As without, so within - I've had a few major lightbulbs go off over my head as I've realized my struggle and the struggle have been the same on many wavelengths. Truly, the work that we do within us changes the world around us!

Second, the more I've gotten attuned to these finer frequencies, the nastier work has become!
I'm going to be letting this go and moving on sooner rather than later. The vibration at work is so soul-deadening! I find my enthusiasm and motivation staying at home instead of coming with me out into the world; I find people content to stay in their prisons and not work to make Change in their lives...and don't get me started about some of the sleepwalking fools that call us, believing themselves to be the center of the Universe, customers & clients alike! I find myself getting snarly and sarcastic just to survive the day - and I find myself completely wiped after the day is done and I'm squared away at home! If I'm going to help people work through their Shadows, I need to do it in an environment that helps the healer and the recipient, and what I've got going right now is so NOT it!

So, once mother and I figure out taxes, and once they've switched over to the new answering system at work, I am gone. Done. Call me when you're ready to wake up, okay?

Then there's the whole "Dark Night of the Collective Soul" that's unfolding for most of this year. See, if you follow the Mayan calendar timeline (which I peek in on now & again), the Fifth Night began mid-November '07. Heavy & intense Shadow-energy is resurfacing during this time...the same energy last present during the World Wars, and before that, the Dark Ages. The power-over dominators are trying to use this energy to consolidate their position against the Transition that is approaching in 2011-12 - but this is a golden opportunity to take these Shadow energies and shift them for good and all, releasing those things that hold us back as a species and haven't served us for a very long time! It's not easy work by a long shot, but it's well worth the effort.

Take these things, add some "PMS," which is really a signal to go within to the Moon Lodge, and position it in the season of Winter, the time for hibernation - and yah, it really is a strange trip!
Fortunately Imbolc is just around the corner.
So I put a few things off till Spring begins to tiptoe across the earth in this hemisphere, and allow other things to come together slowly and easily. I'll be all right; just excuse me while I hit the snooze button... ;-)

verrrry interesting...

So when I wrote the intention of shifting myself out of the work-space I was in, I didn't think the workspace itself would shift. But the potential is there...

Oz wanted to have a chat with me before I started my shift yesterday.
Turns out he wanted to discuss what he'd read in the copy of The Four Agreements I'd lent him.
So we did, and in the course of this discussion, he shared with me parts of the vision he had for the company.
(In case you don't know, he joined us in September to take over the reigns, gradually, from Special-K, the owner/boss of the answering service.)

I'm pretty sure Oz hasn't had this conversation with all of the other operators.
I'm also pretty sure that he wants me to be a significant part of this grand vision of his.
What that will entail, neither of us are quite sure at this point.

I do allow for the possibility of staying in this job if it actually does shift its shape significantly.
It will be interesting to see exactly what Oz will do to keep me on his payroll...or, rather, what we agree to co-create to keep me on his payroll.

I think this is one of the reasons why we incarnate with so much unknown - so we can delight in the surprises Life gifts to us as it unfolds before our eyes...

~m o v e m e n t ~

This is my mantra for 2008.
Movement.

My body craves movement & activity.
I don't get enough of it at my work.
And I really don't need any other part of my anatomy locking up on me!

So this year I will seek out avenues of gentle movement to improve my flexibility...
There is a yoga studio in town that I'm going to check out, and if I like it, sign up for classes. $10/class is a fair price, eh!
There is also a Pilates studio on the coast that caught my eye, which I will investigate.

I'm also going to move the energies around in my life so I can release the work situation I'm in and bring my prosperity activity into better alignment with my life purpose - in other words, do work that I love!
First on the list: securing time at the recording studio I found last year, then actually going in and seeing what comes through my larynx.

Come the spring I'm going to see if there is a market for my brand of healing/energy play circles. There are several metaphysical shops in my area that hold regular classes & host guest speakers...

Time to put some of this mojo to good work, methinks. ;-)

the old year's farewell (un poem)

You celebrate my demise
by dancing in the streets
but I do not begrudge you...

My burden must have grown heavy
for you to sigh in such profound relief
as it slipped silently off your shoulders...

So now you are standing
at the head of my successor
and behold a virgin path
yet to be trod upon.

What will your first step be?

(vsd 1/1/08)