Monday, July 23, 2007

Timeshift. Acceptance.

Well, the promises have been realized. The schedule has changed.
I wasn't happy.

I wasn't happy because they've made me into a full-time person. Uh, excuse me, but what part of "part-time" do y'all not understand??
And I have to wake up rfe - really freaking early - two days a week: Friday and Saturday. My fellow night-owls will shudder in sympathy, I'm sure. ;-)
I still have a "split" I have Sunday and Tuesday off. Que quirky.

My initial reaction to this was annoyance, the "mother is being stubborn and resistant again" annoyance. I even, briefly, considered quitting the job and finding something that would actually honor my request for part-time work!
Two things, however, dissuaded me from doing that.
First, there's the turnover factor...two operators are leaving in short order, and at least one operator is following suit - perhaps as many as three. So they'll be short staffed - and, being the "highly ethical" woman that I am, I won't leave them in the lurch while they are. I'll wait until things settle down again before I revisit the possibility.
Two, and more importantly, there's the issue of my True Work. There's no CD yet. There's no book yet. Nothing I can bring forth in a coherent lecture yet. Only three real clients, with a possible fourth yet to be determined. (Somehow, I'd forgotten the assistance I'd provided "Lady K" with in January. Yup, she's a client too!)
Quite frankly, I can't make my Work my sustaining vocation in this moment. I haven't been motivated to move mountains in manifesting my dreams. Moving mountains in my own healing, though, has been going on this year...

So, instead of striking out again, I'm staying the course and considering my new options:
I still have Friday and Saturday evenings off, along with all Sundays. That, at least, Special-K honored when he redid the schedules, and I am grateful for it. These are the times when I plug in to my spiritual communities and restore my "sanity," however one chooses to define it. ;-)
Now I have Tuesdays off. Hm, perhaps that can be my new "play day." I am, after all, a mere 30 minutes from the ocean... :-)
I also see an invitation to reinvest time and effort into cultivating my dreams, then Work*ing to manifest them. The start of the Harvest season is right around the corner, after all...

I have become aware over these past few that I am not working on "my" timetable, but the Divine Timetable instead: Fallow rest-time in the spring, after freeing myself from the place I could not be anymore...Deep Healing time in the summer, to open my*self still further, to Receiving and Channeling Divine Love and Miracles. What will this fall bring me? Very exciting to consider!!!

If nothing else, I'll have more time to read and write at work. Maybe I can finally make some headway against the stack of books that are waiting patiently for me to open them and consume their stories. Ah, well, one can dream, right? ;-)

Thusly do I shift out of annoyance, and back into acceptance. C'est La Vie.

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