Wednesday, April 8, 2009

And so I arrive, here...

This is not a path for everyone. This is the path I choose to walk.

From full moon to new, I have let it be. I have felt the shifts in my body.
And I arrive at this place...a little pocket of, oh call it pain, why not? - beneath my left breast.

In it is Contempt. Self-Loathing.
In it is the belief that I am a liar and a fraud and a hypocrite.
In it is condescending disgust towards being able to talk the talk, but not to walk the walk.
Huge Judgment.
"Stop pretending to be what you obviously aren't!" it whispers insidiously in my soul...

And for a brief moment, I believe the bullshit.
Then I remember: it is illusion.
Then I realize: it has been put here, to keep me small...to keep me away from blending Darkness and Light, because who knows what will happen then, right?
This has been done For Your Own Good...is the message I have received.
Pardon me while I laugh hysterically in the face of the Shadow-Matrix.

You no longer serve me, little Shadow.
Now I prepare, to remove you from my life.
Permanently.

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