|Peeking above the surface once more. (Naples, FL 6/11)|
There was also a time when I really didn't want to say anything. This was right after Beltaine, when I found myself feeling rather Disconnected - and more, discouraged. Summer is supposed to be a time of great growth; as this season begain, I was feeling anything BUT. Yes, I was throwing a little pity party for myself - putting in "all this work" (which wasn't a whole lot, comparatively speaking, if truth is to be told) and not getting "any" results. The results were coming, just not in the way I wanted them to manifest: that is, as money, as a source (or sources) of steady income. That's where the discouragement was coming in - if this effort to Be the Priestess wasn't bringing me any results, what was the whole blessed point? If I'm not supposed to be a Priestess, what the sam-hill AM I supposed to be? More disturbing was the thought: what if I have been wasting my time? What if (gasp!) mom was right, and I need to find a muggle job after all? Perish the thought!
|Following my path back to the center. (Naples, FL 6/11)|
I found myself through letting go of some dearly held expectations, which allowed me to open up to what unfolded before me in the Now. I found myself both in the company of cherished friends and also in rich, comfortable solitude. I found myself in the mountains, by the sea, near tiny blips of towns and in the hearts of grand metropoli. I found myself in the loud pounding rhythm of shared drum-beats, in the ubiquitious background whirr of ten thousand pairs of cicada wings, and in complete, deep silence. Most importantly, as a subtle, gently pervasive thread throughout my wanderings, I found myself, again and again, In Nature.
I also found myself in some of the most Divinely Exquisite food I've ever eaten...
|...like this Fried Green Tomato Salad. (Folly Beach, SC 5/11)|
It's been a week since I returned home to my Casita de California. The luggage is long since unpacked, the laundry done, the treasures admired and squirreled away. I've come to realize that some of the detachment I was feeling prior to my escapade - and am feeling after it - comes from a very radical shift in perspective, thanks to my interactions with members of the Tree Nation. There is a Serenity present within me that comes from those who measure time in centuries, not in seconds...and I'm still assimilating this new sensation, so it feels a bit alien, yet. Another factor is the fact that I've actually been a bit out of my body: part of my Awareness remains within me, but part of my Awareness is elsewhere, out on the Light Grid that is forming around the Earth, as I do my part in the necessary Work of Transition. This agreement I'm rewriting a bit - lovely and necessary as this Work is, I have come here to enjoy my Experiences in a Flesh-Body first and foremost. So I'm sharing the load a bit more, "doing" a bit less by myself so I can be more centered in my body. Once again, it seems I need to learn not to "bring the work home with me" after a long night in my Dreamtime Office! (lol)
I'm back. Anyone miss me? ;-)