(Nearly at the end of the long dark tunnel. "Portrayed" by the SRF Gardens (7/09). Photo by moi.)As a child of Sirius, and a daughter of Changing Woman, I was born a shape-shifter.
In the eleven years since I made a New Year's resolution to "cultivate a light side of my personality" and brought a copy of SARK's Living Juicy along with me, I have lost count of the times I have reinvented myself.
I have rediscovered the mysterious ways and magickal stories of Grandmother Earth and Grandfather Sky.
I have opened up the treasure box within and found gifts, realized talents, and stepped into Power that I would never have suspected resided within me...
And then I entered this year, 2009. I said "Yes" once more to Adventure.
In a forest in Northern California, I was struck by lightning - a lightning bolt called Love.
I have recapitulated my entire spiritual journey in this one singular year...dancing into Shadow and out into the Bright, again and again. Remembering, recovering, and reclaiming my Authenticity. Naming and owning my Power.
The recapitulation has brought me back to the limen, the threshold, once more. I stand just outside my one true home: my*self.
I descended anew at the start of Winter, and realized that there were pieces of my puzzle that were still missing, little ones still lost in the Void, not sure how to come home - pieces of yin energy, little daughters of Eve. Femme essence.
So once I'd returned to the cave with Mother Bear, I began to make space within myself to re-house these missing bits...reclaiming empty space, transforming "cold and foreboding" to "warm and comfortable." Meanwhile, I have made arrangements to co-create a Soul Retrieval with one of my sister shamankas. This will unfold next week, in the time of the new moon.
When I went north in January, I had an agenda.
What came to me at the start of the year was something that had not been on the agenda: Integration.
This word has carried me through the entire year, and is depositing me at this place, in this time.
I float now in the liminal time, on the verge of the Solstice, and the one thing it is known for, regardless of spiritual orientation: Re~Birth!
After the Solstice, I will not be the same person.
I would be completely arrogant to believe this to be my last shifting of shape, "ever."
However, this is definitely a completion of a cycle, probably several cycles, of transformation.
As it's said in shamanic traditions: Complete Healing. Healing Complete.
Perhaps I have reached the completion of healing - at least, what I can do on my own.
For even as I finish this phase, I am finding myself beginning to work with others to co-create healing... :-)
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