|"Butterfly At Rest." (Home, 1/12)|
2011 was indeed about working with and through my Core Shadows, and the Eye of the Needle initiation I underwent over the Winter stripped away all the parts of Stuck Ego within me. It wasn't always the most pleasant experience; of all the seasons I've walked upon this Path of Spirit, this past Winter was THE most intense one, bar none...and I hear I'm not alone in feeling this. (That's always comforting.) Quite simply, I died unto myself so I could be born anew, which is very shamanic, yes? :-)
Along with the personal work came some Trans-Personal stuff as well: when I was initiated eleven years ago as a Wiccan Priestess (Imbolc 2001), I had NO idea of the baggage that this archetype carried with it. Holding significant Information within while carrying oneself "apart" from the rest of the world had its time and place, but now the time has come to re-merge with the world and share the Information, as widely as possible. A lot of what I call "removing the rod that was up my arse" was the Trans-Personal aspect of this latest round of shape-shifting. The Collective Shadow bound to the Personal Shadow and went poof! thanks to the process of Spiritual Alchemy. :-)
With the dust settling, I find myself, in a sense, back where I started: at the same answering service I left some 21 months ago. I have the same equation: the muggle job on the one hand, and the mystic dreams on the other hand. Having said that, I'm in a completely different place than I was back then (and so is the answering service, Praise the Goddess!) and have a rather different destiny track unfolding before me. There's a sense that I've been "rebooted," and this time, I'm going to Do It Right.
Not that I'm saying that I did it "wrong" previously...when you find that significant energies are rising into your awareness all at once, and some of these energies haven't seen the light of day, so to speak, for several millennia, yah, you're going to be hard-pressed to keep your equilibrium too! Many things were unlocked for me after my Soul Retrieval experience, some of which I'm only now beginning to comprehend!
I find myself looking at the Tabula Rasa, the Blank Slate, which was hiding beneath an unbelievable amount of spiritual clutter. The clutter has now been cleared away. I place my hands upon the smooth clean surface for a moment, close my eyes, and breathe deeply a time or three. Then I pick up the pen, dip it into the ink, and begin to sketch out a new map of Destiny, black lines beginning to criss-cross white paper...