Saturday, November 28, 2009

~in the quiet time~

This is the quiet time of the day...when I am up by myself, mother having gone to bed, the cat perhaps with her, perhaps on my bed or (as is the case tonight) on the couch behind me.
A wee bit later than this is when I normally come home from work, and if I'm not totally blitzed, I'll do my yoga after my nocturnal ablutions are out of the way: changing into pajamas, hanging up those clothes that don't need washing, popping what does need washing into the hamper, and taking care of my teeth. With all the mixing, matching, and adding I've done, my practice lasts just under an hour now; my body never does the exact same thing twice, either.

In the deepening of Winter, I find that the "inertia" that settled around me in Autumn is not going away, not entirely. I kvetched about it at first - but I have so much work to do, so much that is on my to-do list, people to meet and projects to work on, and I need to get moving! I need to push through this and soldier on!
Then I received a very firm response: No. You. Don't.
So I stopped, and pondered, and checked in...and found that I'm very soul-weary, shall we say. Not body weary, gods no! The yoga and the dietary changes and the chiropractic and the massages are wonder*full! ~ and as it turns out, just the beginning.
Look, I was advised. You've done a LOT of shapeshifting this year. You said yourself, out of your very mouth, that you were grateful for the upcoming season of Winter to rest and allow time for the seeds that were planted to germinate! So it's time to REST now, darling one!

So I've gotten a very good lesson in Letting Go this past month. There are days when, yes indeed, I feel like moving mountains, and things do get crossed off at least one list...but I'm also allowing in more days where I do "nothing constructive," and just lie on the couch, listening to the rain and catching up with my newspaper reading - as I did today.
Of course, when it's raining cats and dogs outside, raining like some Divine CEO of Weather is making up for all of the dry days/weeks/months by dumping it all in one go, and it's a cold Winter front blowing down from way up in Alaska somewhere bringing all this much needed moisture...then it's really easy to say, "Meh, not today. Maybe tomorrow."
Add in working five and something of the previous six days straight, toss in the insanity that surrounds a major holiday the day before and after said holiday, and one really looks for an excuse to do Lots of Nothing during one's downtime! (lol)

Thus and So: in the quiet time, I'm balancing days of do-ing with days of be-ing. A bit of a new concept for me, as I alluded to in one of my recent Tweet-clouds. Seriously ~ the more I've reflected on this, the more I noticed more motion in this past decade, now just about to become decade-plus, than pausing and resting and allowing the Changes to really take root and marinate within me. High time to give myself marinating permission!
So...Permission Granted! *ping*

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