Tomorrow will be two weeks since I returned to the answering service.
During these two weeks, it occurred to me: I did ask the Universe, at the start of the year, how best I could Be Of Service. And the Universe responded by guiding me back here, to a place where I can, literally, serve.
So I have a schedule, and am allowing things to fall into place around it.
I acknowledge that I need the structure in my life. I need a frame to work off of, to create my life around it.
In total, I will be working 31 hours a week. Yes, that's only an hour less than where I was at the synagogue. BUT - here's the big difference - I don't have to be "on point" all the time. I don't have to keep artificially busy, lest the rabbi walks by and complain that I'm not working enough! :-p When there are quiet times, and there are, I can read...or even better, write.
That was the one thing I liked about working at the service in the past: I had time to write. A lot. It will be nice to get back into that flow.
And the list anxiety is beginning to crop up again, as in, ohmigod, I want to do a-b-c-d-and e today, but I'll be lucky if I get to b. Shit damn balls...I'm falling behind again.
Falling behind in whose opinion, love?
Let me take the grace*full ease in living that I cultivated during my fallow time and apply it here, now, as the speed of life begins to pick up again. Let me reassure myself that all will happen in the fullness of time, at the perfect time, and in a timely fashion. I am moving exactly at the pace I am supposed to.
Besides, barring the Four Horsemen riding through the service, I've accomplished my top goal:
my Fridays are completely free, and my Saturday evenings are free as well. I also have Sunday off...and since I don't have to work until the afternoon, I can open up Sundays to play too. :-)
I exercise patience, and allow the Mystery to unfold at my feet, one day at a time.