On being...a Renunciate

...You may find yourself living in a beautiful house

With a beautiful wife

And you may ask yourself,

"Well, how did I get here?"

(Talking Heads, "Once in a Lifetime")

That's the question I've been asking myself as of late - Well, how did I get HERE?
It has taken my review of my Taoism books to make some blessed sense of the frequency I'm inhabiting these days. For a bit over a year, I've been all but unemployed...and truth be told, not terribly inspired to look really hard for a new job. I've been wanting to cultivate/co-create my own source of steady income - merging my Work with my work - and have precious little manifested for myself!

(Now, before I go further, absolutely no worries, all right? I'm not two steps away from homlessness. Financially, I'm okay. Promise.)

I found the word that fits me these days in one of my Taoist books: renunciate. Double-checking with ye olde dictionary, I confirmed its fit: one who has renounced (given up, disowned) something. Well, yes, I've given up quite a few things that used to inhabit my life, including sugar, gluten, dairy (most of the time, except for some occasional cheese), televised news, and most shows that pass for "entertainment" these days. Outside of sports programs, I don't watch a lot of TV anymore, in truth. I would also say I've disowned the apocalyptic, fatalistic, and "poor-me-I'm-such-a-victim" mindsets - more importantly, I don't have room for these mindsets in my life. With my sensitivities to energetic ebbs and flows seemingly increased a thousand-fold, my BS Meter is set off pretty easily...and it doesn't take a whole lot TO set it off these days! "Nope, don't have the time for you in my reality. Toodles!"

When I left my muggle job at the answering service last year, I didn't intend not to work again (hardly) at all. I didn't desire to cut myself all but entirely out of the ebb and flow of the collective Agreement we call "Civilization" - yet this is the place where I've wound up, bobbing nearly solitarily in a pond I've never seen before and not entirely sure in which direction to swim to find other bobbers. Maybe I really don't want to move about at all!

This is where my faith comes in...Grand Movements are afoot. Though I can't see them, and I don't really know (if I'm completely honest with myself) exactly where I'm going, I know I'm on my way to an Awesome Destination. Most of the time, I'm actually enjoying the journey - and in truth, it's not like I've just been twiddling my thumbs and waiting for special dispensation from the Pope. I have been uber-busy, but most of the work has been internal. Now and again, though, I wonder, Well, how did I get here, and what's going to happen next?

In this, I'm no different from anyone else in not knowing THE answer...so I'll just keep ambling along until the sun rises and shows me the rest of the path that my feet are following. :-)

(31 in 31 - #6) "She Cleans Up Well" ;-)

First,
She takes a brush to her hair
To evict the metaphoric rats that have taken up residence
Iin the massive tangles beneath the slope of her skull.

Next,
She methodically sheds her fabric skins -
Articles that had kept her together during her Metamorphosis in the Chrysalis
When the boundaries of her life had melted and her essence had become a glorious goo.
Now they are heavy with stagnant qi and fragrant in politically incorrect ways.
She folds them up with gratitude and silently surrenders them to the Holy Laundry Hamper.

Then,
She enters her bamboo grotto,
Washing away any lingering fears and doubts beneath her faux waterfall.
She tiptoes from bath to boudoir, steaming, shell-less, and soft.

Eventually,
She emerges from her sanctuary, fresh new fabric skin covering her form,
Imbued subtly with that seductively nurturing fragrance, Vanilla Body Lotion!
One last drying and brushing of her hair to shed any final vestiges of snarled nests.

Finally,
As she steps out the back door,
She glances at her reflection and smiles:
The human disguise still fits.

Further Along Realignment Road

No worries, I'm still here. Giving myself an opportunity to check in...

I figured, with the big energy shifts last month (detailed here), that I would be "knocked offline" for a few days, then I'd jump back into the cyber-stream, publishing bits of punk poetry and puttering around here and there.
I expected to be de-centered.
I didn't expect to be de-centered so completely. Once more through the wash-rinse-spin cycle of Life, aye!
I wasn't personally in Japan, but Shit Howdy that was a powerful quake! (Pardon my Swahili) I am gaining more and more empathy with those who have been feeling the movements of Gaia and the Collective Consciousness since Day One of their existence...I started to feel these sensitivities way later in life, and damned if I haven't been knocked for a loop every single blessed time something major goes down!
I am, however, continuing to find my way through - through the storms, through the stillness, through the fear, through the uncertainty. I close my eyes, touch the Earth, breathe into my belly, and eventually everything starts to make sense again.
After the Equinox, I've recovered some Creative mojo, and I've taken up my book again. Yes, I've joined every other person alive today and am in the process of writing a book...actually, it's more like transcribing the dictation I've received from the Universe. Think my Wetware blog, only more free-ranging and, dare I say, political. (hee hee)
Also after the Equinox, I began what I'm calling a Spring Cleaning of my chakras. Not quite two down and I've already uncovered loads of Shadow-material to be cleared! Let me reach a stopping point on that, then I'll share. I'm setting an intention that this internal Spring Cleaning will also manifest in external ways, to the benefit of all in my realm! (mainly my mother, who really doesn't like all of the clutter. lol) ;-)

I will take up the poetry posting again, soon. I will be a bit more talkative, soon. I wanted to stop in and say all was well in my world - and still looking rather sunny and bright, despite the shape-shifting. I'll close with some random beauty...

You can't go wrong with a lovely ocean shot, can you? ;-)