Dancing in the Sky

Walking Down the Last Sun of 2011 (a picture story)

2012-01-15T21:03:00.000-08:00

A note of explanation:
I have established a tradition where I live: I take my walk in the late afternoon, as the sun is setting. I call it "Walking Down the Sun." For the last day of 2011, I took my camera with me, just to see what would unfold before me. So let me share with you this time... :-)

I've seen this new raptor at our complex for a while. I don't recognize him outside of being related to the hawks that fly around here. A falcon, perhaps? or an osprey?

I do recognize this beauty, though...an Anna's Hummingbird, caught in a perfect moment! (I've been seeing a LOT of hummingbirds lately, btw.)

First quarter moon, posed artfully under a high branch.

A rock on the property. One of these days, his "mouth" will open and he will speak to me. ;-)

I liked the combo of light and shade for this tree... :-)

Another bird I've seen a lot of as of late: the red-crested woodpecker. I recognize them by their chirring song.

A pic of the feral parrots who come visit the complex every night. In this case, they're in a neighbor's tree. There's a fairly decent sized colony of them, about twenty or so. They are loud squawkers, too!

Close up of one of the parrots, with its red face.

This is my pic to show that we do have "fall" colors in Southern California. So there. ;-)

The final sunset of 2011. Good night to you. Thank you for your special high intensity transformations...and glad you're complete! (well, mostly - but I'll save that for another post.)

So, here's where I stand today...

2011-12-30T18:15:00.000-08:00

Gettin' by with help from my friends. (Kit Carson Park, 11/11)

Though the mainstream world turns the page onto a new year come Sunday, I personally started my new year on the Solstice, which fell on the 22nd this year. Regardless, we are in the liminal days between the old and the new, and these last few days have been a time of reflection for me...

I regard 2009 as the year I Recapitulated my entire Spiritual Journey. I regard 2010 as the year I Shifted Realities, having unlocked some very deep, archetypal, and primal feminine energies - and stepped away from the mainstream world to make an effort to bring these energies into alignment within myself. It looks like I will come to regard 2011 as the year I Worked with, and through, my Core Shadows, those issues and challenges that have been hiding deep within, as deep as the aforementioned Wild Woman energies.
As assisted by the significant ebbs and flows of the (super-)natural energies that everyone felt, to greater or lesser extent, this past year, entire mountain ranges of emotion moved about inside of me, though I appeared to be rather motionless outside. Though my life might have appeared calm and peaceful to an outside observer, inside was anything BUT, as I felt tossed upside down, turned inside out, and put through the Cosmic Wringer more often than not!
Several times in 2011, I lost my Vision for my future, and my faith in the Divine was severely tested. Several times, I thought I was broken beyond repair; other times, I thought I would have to take very drastic action to secure my freedom and my very life! As I've noted previously, things most certainly came to a crescendo right after 11/11/11; only after the Solstice has the dust finally settled enough that I can begin to see the path as it stretches out before me once more.

That path has led me back into what many call "gainful employment." Yes, I've secured a muggle job once more...at the very same place I left 21 months ago! Fortunately, both the energies at my former-now-current workplace, along with the energies within ME, have shifted sufficiently that I feel comfortable enough to emerge from my time of sequestration. This renunciate is laying down her dogma and turning her attention to practical issues - namely, replenishing ye olde bank account with some regular infusions of cash monies!
I will say I'm grateful for this employment opportunity for three other reasons, besides the financial one: first, although I didn't wholeheartedly pursue muggle job opportunities during my sequestration, it's nice to finally hear a "yes, you're perfect," after hearing a whole bunch of nothing after interviews, aka, "No, you're not what we're looking for. Have a nice life anyway." Second, working at this job invites me to recreate solid structure in my life, around which I can arrange my ten thousand details to maximize my flow within life's currents. Let me confess: the lack of this structure has not been working to my benefit, as the Procrastination Gremlin has been frolicking around a bit too much in my psyche. Third, and not least, this job gives me a chance to get out of the home and into different energies. I give myself permission to have a spot of Breathing Room - which is gratefully welcomed at this point, let me tell you!

So in the space of these next few weeks, I will be playing with the details of my life. (As someone with a Virgo Moon, the prospect makes me infinitely happy.) I will continue to plot out potential destiny tracks for this year and beyond. I will also continue to be the Shamanic Priestess, no worries...mayhap just a bit harder to get in touch with. ;-) This is one thing I'm NOT compromising on - though I'm (going to be) more active in the muggle world right now, I'm still wielding my magick touch and offering my unique perspectives and gifts to those who are seeking it. I just have to see how my details gel before making major strides; as this is still the season of Repose, though, that's not a problem anyway. :-)

There's the practical stuff. Now the spiritual stuff...
I'm feeling more flexible, more open, more willing to shift my shape to accomodate change. I'm still feeling very empty and waiting to see what will come in to fill me. I'm also feeling uber-protected right now, wrapped in a blanket of Divine warmfuzzylove support.
I have allowed myself to be distracted far too much by the "when" and the "where" of my life, looking too much toward the distant horizon and not enough at the path immediately before my feet. I am shifting my focus to the essential parts that need my attention - to the Who and the What of my life. Here is where I need clarity and definition; as I define myself and my creations, my eventual "when" and "where" will resolve themselves.
There are parts of this journey that I will be sharing openly as I move forward in 2012, for I have found the word that I shall use as a guidepost for the new year: Expansion, in all parts of my life.

Tomorrow I shall walk the labyrinth at Questhaven and enjoy a long candlelight bath. Tomorrow I shall ponder activities that I want to unfold for the New Year. Sunday I shall circle with some of my sisters as we welcome in 2012 together.
May this year be an Awesome one for you and me and all of us! :-)

Eye of the Needle

2011-12-13T11:49:00.000-08:00

The Very End of the Sunset. (Nevada, 11/11)

Well, it seems the timeline accelerated on me the last part of November and into the first part of December.

I started my Virtual Walkabout earlier than I expected. I needed to because of the massive amount of shape-shifting that surged into my awareness as the moon waxed from New to Full, and I desperately needed some Stillness to try to ground into. There were times when it was hard for me to put two sentences together in my head; in one significant sense, it felt like I was dying inside! - and now that I look back upon this process, a part of me was.
One of my shamanic sisters nailed it a few days prior to the full moon: I wasn't standing in the Crucible. This time, I was in the heart of a huge Volcano of Shadow, Negativity, and low-frequency ick. Just before the lunar eclipse, the Volcano erupted. BIG time! I went into my car for some privacy (taking along my hand drum) and let everything erupt. It was messy. It was LOUD. And after it was over, it was extremely cleansing.

I was anticipating further eruptions with the eclipse, but instead, I found myself dropping into a state of Serene Emptiness, for the first time in quite a while! As reality expanded around me again once more, I breathed into it, and receive the message that I had just passed through the Eye of the Needle, an initiatory portal that relieved me of a Ton of Nasty Stuff that I no longer needed to carry with me! Further sitting in stillness revealed to me what that Nasty Stuff entailed. To sum: The "Good Girl" is dead.

This doesn't mean that I'm now Darth Vader's left-hand woman or anything like that. ;-) Promise.

What has died within me is the People-Pleaser who had to be Agreeable with Everyone. If someone disagreed with anything she said or did, she became nervous...Maybe they don't like me anymore! What must I do to get them to like me? (so she could be Validated as a "Good" girl, see?)
What has died within me is the dreaming Perfectionista who had to have Every Last Detail of her dreams come Absolutely True in the World of Form, or it was Wrong. (And of course, she never had a dream that was off-target!) She who clung SO fiercely to Expectations, and Attached Everything to the Outcome - that's one way you define Fundamentalism!

With the waning moon, I'm working with Mother Vulture to clear away any and all remaining ick. So yes, I'm still on my Virtual Walkabout, though I'm leaving this little note to let my posse know that All Is Well. And there are forms emerging from the Emptiness for me to consider, so I'll be having some fun with those as the New Year kicks off. :-)

Walking through the 11/11/11 Portal

2011-11-29T17:21:00.000-08:00

So let this be an explanation of what happened around that date, and what has unfolded since, to go with my semi-cryptic status posts on Facebook... ;-)

I had planned out some ceremonial work to do on 11/11/11, to go along with the great gathering of energy. I also had a sense, truth be told, that I wasn't going to be at home when the portal opened. At first, I thought I would be attending a women's conference in Los Angeles; at the last moment, though, I was advised by my guides NOT to participate, so I let the opportunity pass. Not entirely sure what was going on, I waited - and two days later, my ultimate destination became clear. I was needed in Las Vegas. So I packed my duffle, got behind the wheel of White Lightning, and off I went.

That Friday saw me wandering in the desert just outside of Las Vegas. Viz:

During my wanderings, I had an opportunity to commune briefly with one of the stones on the ground. It was a fairly large white stone, with a place for me to rest my hand. I would like to think that I joined energy with that stone right at 11:11 am; without a watch to confirm, I have no idea. ;-)

There were some very interesting cloud formations overhead, especially in the morning. What I didn't take a picture of was the Vegas Strip surrounded by an odd, pea-soup like smog. Was I seeing the effects of a cleansing, or was I seeing into another reality? I'm still debating that one.

I returned home Friday evening. Saturday morning (11/12), I felt a HUGE difference in energy in the house...I was on a completely different level than anyone else residing here! It was very uncomfortable for me, and I found myself stepping into Bear Medicine. Momma Bear growled at anyone if they came too close for comfort!
I found myself shielding very heavily against the very low vibration at home. Relief came when I stepped out into Nature, which I did on Sunday (11/13) to enact the ceremony I had planned to do two days earlier. I felt myself plugging back into the New Reality as I visited the power spots scattered through Kit Carson Park.

So Many Crows! (Kit Carson Park, 11/11)

Honestly, I've never seen so many crows in one place in my life - these and many more followed me through my ceremony. I felt truly protected - and blessed - by their presence.

I'll be honest with y'all - there's a lot shifting within me right at the moment. I'm feeling sea changes coming my way, so significantly that I'm going to unplug from cyberspace and take a Virtual Walkabout during the Second Unfolding, which starts on December 11th. I feel the need to gain some clarity as to what I'm supposed to do next, and when I need to take action. Depending on what other rhythms I tune into, that Virtual Walkabout might also turn into a real one. We shall see.

I feel that significant parts of my life-story are coming to an end, to make way for new beginnings...

Sunset in Nevada. (November, 2011)

Sights of Samhain

2011-11-05T13:55:00.000-07:00

I finished off my "Jaguar Days" and welcomed in Winter by getting out into Nature. While others got together to honor the dead and exchange tricks for treats, my ceremonies were personal and private, tuning in to the Web of Life. I did, however, attend a communal ceremony or two... :-)

Mrs. Gilbert's Memorial Bench. (Kit Carson Park, 6/10)

Mrs. Gilbert was my teacher in the fourth grade. She introduced me to hamsters as pets; I took one from several she brought with her on the last day of school. I named him Clarence. He wound up living under our dishwasher for most of his life (by choice) and was buried in the backyard, where an apricot tree would be planted years later. She also knew my mother's family, when everyone was growing up. Small world, eh? ;-)


Shrine for the Departed. (Kit Carson Park, 10/11)

I constructed this shrine under her bench with the materials on hand: sticks, pistachio nut shells, cigarette butts (to represent tobacco), and a crow feather that had seen better days. I pocketed some extra materials to take with me to Questhaven a few days afterwards; more on that in a moment.


Jade-Green Stillness (Kit Carson Park, 10/11)

First, the trick: the pond looks green, but that's actually algae on the surface. The algae will disappear with the first good Winter rains.

"Hidden Glory" (Kit Carson Park, 10/11)

Next, the treat: this is a morning glory bloom I found hiding under the bench one sits upon to meditate by the pond shown above. I took a moment to appreciate fully her breathtaking, and utterly simple beauty. :-)

The other end of my Natural Adventures unfolded at Questhaven...

The labyrinth awaits the walker. (11/11)

Star Altar. (11/11)

Here's where the rest of the pistachio shells came in handy. In the center of the star is my new Stibnite rod, being charged with Solar energy! :-)

The way to the Gnome Castle. (11/11)

The Gnome Castle. (11/11)

You can see why this formation of rocks is called the "Gnome Castle." It's changed in the year and a half (or so) since I saw it last. There is a LOT of Earth/Fey energy concentrated here!

Charging on the Gnome Castle. (11/11)

Here's the Stibnite again (at the top), receiving some fabulous Fey energy. The small light triangular rock at the bottom was my offering; I left it behind.


Wise Stone Council. (11/11)

Further up from the Gnome Castle is this grouping of stones. Similar energy, but feels much older. With permission asked for and granted, I performed a quick ceremony...

Offering #2 (11/11)

...finishing off with this crow feather.
I would have stayed longer with the Wise Ones, but there are a pair of Electric towers at the very top of this particular hill. I don't think I was up there more than ten minutes before I became extremely nauseous - holy sensitivities, Batman!

In between, here's a wee taste of one of the communal ceremonies I partook of...

Lighting up the Night. (Escondido, 10/11)

It's a bit of a challenge to take pics during ceremonial events. You want to capture the beauty and awe, yet honor the privacy and sacredness of the moment, which picture-taking can disrupt. This pic was taken during a lull in the action, and with permission from the spirits overseeing the event. :-)

Now my focus shifts to what lies ahead: the start of the Transition on 11/11/11!

Destination Unknown. (Kit Carson Park, 10/11)

What does the future hold? Looks like we'll all find out together...

taking out MY garbage...

2011-10-22T17:23:00.000-07:00

I knew I had some stuff to clear out of me. I didn't realize how stinky and smelly it would turn out to be! :-p

Finding the Sticky Bit in the Flow. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

That which I knew centered around some persnickety Cultural Conditioning that had not gone away and left me alone. I got my first inkling that something was up at the last Big Glow retreat that I attended. I found myself doing a really good imitation of a wailing banshee at one point - rather unexpected but very clearing - and I traced it to the notion that I have to Change Myself in order to be more Pleasing or Satisfactory for another. How interesting! The moment this crystallized into my Awareness, I felt SO unclean I had to shower At Once! Before Breakfast! Then I felt infinitely better. :-)
Once I was home again, I dug deeper. The second thing I found was the notion that There IS Someone for Everyone, but there's ONLY One. I saw that belief as illusory right away. To be frank, I don't see myself becoming a hot swinging Jaguar in my maturity, but I know that there is more than one for me to open myself up to and share my*self with. So I gathered that in and bound it up, but I felt that there was more than that still present.
I was right when I found the third notion, which is the biggie: I need to seek Validation Outside of Myself, for I don't always Trust Myself. Ah - here it is! This was also my gateway into clearings of a Trans-Personal nature, but I'll delve into that in a moment. This root notion spun off a fourth notion shortly thereafter - To be Validated, everyone has to like me. So I have to agree with what everyone says, or they won't like me anymore. Here's another one I saw as illusory right away, even though I had to remind myself of its truth. ;-)

The central Big Nasty Illusion. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

As I bound these together and began creating a Transformation Arrow to release them with, I stepped into Trans-Personal clearing aspects. By virtue of helping out a family friend through her search for a new job and home, I found myself suddenly wading hip-deep in Poverty Consciousness, that pesky illusion that there's Not Enough, there Won't Be Enough, and everyone is suffocating in Lack. It's very prevalent in society these days - and I found myself briefly wrapped up in a pity party when I perceived myself to be thwarted in some pursuits I wanted to engage in. The moment I realized what I was hosting in my Awareness, though, I snapped out of it. :-)
The other bit of Trans-Personal Work I was called to engage in was a bit more challenging to push through, as it had to do with beholding the Cruelty present in the world...man upon his animal siblings, and man upon his fellow man. The former came to me as I watched a video on what happens to animals in factory farms; the latter arrived in the most recent news from Libya. From this witnessing, I fashioned a rite to release the icky energies within my body and transmute the suffering, complete with a Ho'oponopono prayer to restore balance. (Let me know if you're interested in learning about it.)

These, too, have been added to my Transformation Arrow, in a rather satisfactory fashion, if I do say so myself. I shall be adding some black candle wax to the Arrow and burning it very soon.

Vehicle for Transformation. (at home, 10/11)

I took these things with me into the Moon Lodge, and have been staring down the Shadow in my private quiet time. Today is the first day in about a week that I've felt the shift into Something Different. The clouds are breaking apart and the sun is shining once more. Today is the day for lighting the lavender incense and finishing the airing out of the Moon Lodge.


Surfacing, yet again. (Encinitas, 1/11)

I am on the upswing once more, and grateful for it. :-)

On doing a Healingway for 9/11

2011-09-10T16:26:00.000-07:00

The original Healingway image. (Naples, FL 6/11)

Ten years ago tomorrow, I was on my way to work. I turned on the classical station I was listening to at the time and was surprised not to hear music. Instead, I heard a news station relating what was unfolding on that day. What is going on? I thought to myself. Is this some kind of joke? Unfortunately, it was not.
There wasn't a whole lot of work done on September 11, 2001. Everyone was glued to the radio. (There might have been a telecast going on, but I don't remember where the TV was, if we had one.) I remember calling my mother to tell her, Something is happening in New York. Turn on the TV. She called me back shortly thereafter; she couldn't watch the news. It was too horrible. The mood at work, on the coast and at home, became very somber as the implications began to sink in for all of us.
I remember sitting outside, considering eating my lunch. I remember pondering the enormity of the events that happened on the East Coast. I remember feeling very sad, anxiety wanting to build within me - until I snapped myself out of it.
"You know what?" I said aloud, to no one in particular, "I Refuse to Be a Victim!"

In that moment, a small white feather floated across my vision, from somewhere above and to the left of me, landing to the right of me. I kid you not.
In that moment, the Power was switched on within me. Yes, I had been initiated as a Wiccan priestess a few months before, but in the moment I chose NOT to become entangled in the negative, a circuit was completed, a seed was planted, and that was the moment I began to take out my psychic gifts and USE them.
I Refuse to Be a Victim.

Fast forward ten years...
I see other people who also had the Power switched on within them, on that day and on all of the days since. Yet I also see many who have become stuck in Victimhood, or Grudge-Holding, or Fear-Mongering.
It occurred to me last year - enough is enough. It's high time this "9/11" energy was channeled in Positive ways, instead of being stuck in a repeating vicious cycle of fear and hatred. Some of us can even feel the buildup of energy leading up to 9/11; even if you can't, think about this - have you noticed, every year around this time, tempers become shorter, manners get tossed out the window more often, and people become downright mean and grouchy? Then we hit 9/13 and POOF! we're back to normal. (Sort of.) ;-)
I'm not asking anyone to forget what happened. There are valuable lessons that we've learned, and are still learning. For many, 9/11 was the day the veil of secrecy began to be pulled away from the Shadow Conspirators, whoever you might think they are. (That's a whole 'nother discussion, which can be saved for another time!)
What I am asking is: Isn't it time to Forgive? Isn't it time to Let Go? Isn't it time to drop the heavy bag of Grudges you've been carrying around? You're only damaging Your*self by holding on to the negativity and staying stuck in place. Releasing that which no longer serves you frees up LOTS of energy that can be used in more positive and abundant ways - and I've been on the Journey long enough to know of what I speak!

So this is why I've created the Great Healingway for tomorrow. I call it Reversing the Tide. I'm going to tap into the energy and inject some much-needed Brightness into the swirling Shadows. In doing so, I'm intending to open up a portal to allow much more Peace, Acceptance, Love, Compassion, Healing, and Support to flow into the Collective Consciousness, which will give a boost to the Ascension process currently in progress, leading up to the Big Stargate of 11/11/11. (There will be lots happening between then and now; I shall be posting updates as I receive them on my Wetware blog.)
I don't ask you, dear reader, to agree with me. I simply ask you to consider what I've said. If you do agree with me, you can join me one of two ways: either Live & In Person at Awakenings Center for Conscious Living, or telepathically from the comfort of your own home. The ceremony will unfold from 2:30pm to 4:30pm, Pacific Time; you can hold space with me for two minutes, two hours, or anything in between.

Together, We Are the Change We Seek. Never forget this! :-)

Change-Up

2011-08-30T22:17:00.000-07:00

I must say, the Fifth Night was very interesting to go through.

I experienced my own version of the "Opposite Sketch" that I saw everyone else entering with the major energetic shift...I found that the very thing I've been trying to Fix, Change, and Transmute within me for the past I-don't-know-HOW-long has been the very thing that doesn't need to be Fixed, Changed, or Transmuted! She feels out of sorts because the world is out of sorts. She has felt "out of place" because places that truly honor Pure Innocence are precious few and very far between right now. She feels cranky and upset that things aren't going more "her way" because she's already there, in that shiny new place, and doesn't quite understand what all the fuss is about here, with this whole "in the fullness of time" business.
I can finally see: I, too, have Star Medicine running through my veins.
I can finally see: I, who have been encouraging other "Star Children" to stick around in this reality, because they carry such rare and valuable treasures that are really needed here and now, haven't given that same encouragement to the one who needs it the most: ME.
Finally, I've come to the place where I truly and Unconditionally Love & Accept My*Self - and the Universe shifted with me. Whoa.

Representing the Unconditionally Loving Heart. (Naples, FL 6/11)

With this Universal Shift came a much-needed Wake-Up call for my journey...
After the umpteenth (slightly heated) discussion with my mother about money and financial issues, I sat down, looked at the bank account, looked at the numbers, crunched them for a while, and came to my own version of "An Inconvenient Truth" - in roughly nine months, at the rate we're going now, the money "safety net" is going to disappear. I have that long to Real-Ize my dreams, in one form or another.
Oddly enough, I wasn't frightened by that Moment of Illumination. My first thought: Thank you, Great Mother, for giving me a definitive timeline for me to act. My second thought: Ooh. Nine months. Tres symbolic! :-)
Just as Mercury Retrograde was ending, and the moon turned from waning to waxing, I concentrated my energy and went to Work. My first result: the creation of an "official" Website for myself. Easier - and WAY cheaper - than I was dreading! Huzzah! I am grateful and overwhelmed by the support I've gotten for it thus far.
I am opening myself to explore all options to increase my prosperity, including those in the muggle workforce once more. At this moment, it looks like I'm going to be best served by a mix of mystic and muggle sources of income...at least, while we have this Agreement that we call "the economy" in place. Already, I've gotten nibbles of interest in both of these areas; again, Huzzah!

Feeling, and Seeing, the possibilities Blooming before me! (Naples, FL 6/11)

With definitive action being taken to REAL-ize my dreams, I felt the Veil of Negative Apathy being dashed from my soul. With the (energetic) shift from introversion to extroversion, I am feeling inspired and motivated anew. There are no worries; I will be fully financially supported Well Before the nine months are up! The exciting part is going to be what else I'm going to birth out of this explosion of Creative Force...A-ho! :-)

(Mostly) Enjoying the Ride.

2011-08-18T12:32:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned on my Wetware blog and on Facebook, it's been a "wild ride" for many people this month. I've been on the ride too...and for the most part, I've been enjoying it.

As the energetic party was getting started, I was in the rolling hills of southwestern Pennsylvania, enjoying the company of my Big Glow siblings at a place called Wild Meadows Farm. It's a real farm. With a real Barn.


The Barn. (Pennsylvania, 7/11)

As it was the eve of Lammas, the First Harvest, there was indeed a harvest inside. I think they're onions...

Drying the Harvest. (Pennsylvania, 7/11)

The event took place within reach of a Mixed Energy vortex. This is significant because 1) You interact with the energies in ways that may be the opposite of what you expect, and 2) All of the energies around the property were heightened by the combination of the New (blue) Moon, significant Solar Flares, and the beginning of a major overall power surge. My experience was a good one at the retreat, I can tell y'all that.

The party really kicked into high gear once I returned home. The anniversary of my dad's passing (speaking of energetic vortices) came just after Mercury went Retrograde. I found myself very soft and still - and Very Hungry! I used some Mindful Eating to keep myself under control and in the eye of the proverbial storm. From this center-point, I saw a LOT of people Awakening, many of my friends finding themselves moving up several levels on their journeys in the blink (or two) of an eye! Many of my other friends found themselves in particularly nasty pickles that seemed to arise "out of nowhere." And let's not forget the turbulent times in the States and overseas in England!

We're all in this together, supporting one another. (Naples, FL 6/11)

After a dynamic start, I found myself moving Between the Worlds.What this means for me is sleeping many hours in the evening, and not always waking up completely in the morning. There have been days I've been draggin' along the Whole Damn Day...and a sleepy bear can be a very grumpy bear. I did, however, apologize after the worst of the outbursts. I also took my own advise and hied my hee out into Nature.

How can you feel grumpy HERE? :-) (Questhaven, 8/11)

With the shifting of the overall energies comes a return to a more bright-eyed and bushy-tailed state of existing. Okay, realizing I've been craving more protein in my diet was a factor as well; adding more nuts and beans to my diet is producing noticeable results. I also attempted to add some dairy, but that went over like a fart in church. Looks like I'm ready to wean myself from the cow for good! (no offense to all the cow divinities...)
Now I am finishing moving through the death/birthdates of my grandmother. Now I'm Working on my Third Eye/sixth chakra, clearing out illusory & fear*full Visions. Now I've just sun-brewed some jasmine green tea that tastes delicious! :-q Now I'm ready(ing) myself to ride the next wave...right alongside all y'all.

The sun has begun to rise again... :-) (Naples, FL 6/11)

Prior Steps on the Healingway

2011-07-23T00:29:00.000-07:00

Let me back up a little bit in time, for I'm not sure if I would have gone to the first Cuddle Party had I not had a trio of Awesome experiences during my Grand Adventure. (Okay, the whole blessed trip was one big Healingway, BUT these three events stand out in my memory. So there.)

The first moment unfolded in South Carolina, just outside of Charleston. I met Angel Oak...The. Most. Impressive. Tree. EVAH!


Is this not IMPRESSIVE! (South Carolina, 5/11)

She is the oldest tree east of the Rockies; only the Sequoias (I believe) could give her a run for her money. We're talking centuries here, people! Her energy is magnificent...yet that word barely describes it. Introductions made, permission granted, I placed my hands upon her massive trunk and all but burst into tears. (Had it been just the two of us, I would have.) I didn't have to make a single request; she said to me, Give me your grief. Give me your tension...and she TOOK it. (Yea, I had come to her with a turbulent heart, no matter what story I was telling myself.) She drew all of my low frequency vibration into herself and grounded it through her roots, over and over again, until I was empty. I thanked her by reaching into my special pouch and pulling out offerings for her: a rosebud. A piece of bark from my Oak Friend at Questhaven. My Mystery Rock, which had come East with me - and which I knew, somehow, would not return home to California. I laid it at the base of her trunk. I left the circle open in the West - for the circle must remain open, until I return to the East permanently. Which I will.

Then I brought my awareness back into myself and walked around her to the other side, where I was gobsmacked anew...


This is actually one of her BRANCHES! (South Carolina, 5/11)

Have I mentioned that I found her impressive?
I found myself running my hands along one of the lower parts of this branch, again asking permission to touch her. This time, when my hands stilled on her rough bark surface, energy flowed into me - the gentle serene energy very old trees have. She emptied me, and she filled me back up, without me having to request a thing! I'm surprised my friends didn't have to hold my hands on the way back to the car, lest I floated away! (LOL) I hold deep gratitude for her in my heart...and totally recommend a visit with her at least once in your life. Just be aware, her caretakers don't like folks crawling about in or on her branches, because of her advanced age. Honor and respect their wishes, please and thank you. You won't need to do any climbing anyway. :-)

The earth healed me. The water healed me too. While I was at the beach, I ran into the ocean at the end of every day. I cleansed myself and renewed myself in the womb of Grandmother Ocean. Four days, four dips - one Healing.

The gull pretends not to watch. (Folly Beach, SC 5/11)

It wasn't just the ocean that spoke to me, it was the myriad of creeks that run beside the roads and past the homes of Gerton, NC. One in particular led me to my final significant moment...

A Connecticut Yankee and two California Ninjas. (Gerton, NC 6/11)

My sister Priestess is seen upon the stone I would sit upon to listen to the creek and feel her energy. I found myself moving into trance, and sinking into the water in a higher dimension. I didn't become the water, I became the rocks in the water. This is what I felt:

The Water of Life moves past me, moves around me, moves within me.

She washes me clean of all that I no longer need, of all I release in sweet surrender.

She brings to me everything I ask for, and more; I can take what suits me and let the rest flow away.

She might dislodge me, but I will move forward in her flow, until I find my new place.

Then I will gently slow and stop, and open myself to feel her flow once more.

Here's the thing: I had a knot of energy in my body, by my left hip. I had been carrying this knot within me for some time, even before my Grand Adventure. As I felt the current of the water flow around and through me, the knot loosened, dissolved, and was washed away. It has not returned. I KNOW, in complete certainty, that I was Healed on that day, in that moment. Again, I am deeply grateful and thankful; I left an offering of my gratitude - sage and tobacco, sprinkled into the river.

One amusing footnote: just before we left, I dipped my cap into the creek to scoop up some of the water and plopped it quickly on my head. A shock of cold water burst upon my head and made its way down my body as I gasped in surprise, "It's Cold! The water is Cold!"

Yeah, I'm totally a city girl.

For now.

Jaguar Medicine & Trans-Personal Stuff

2011-07-19T00:02:00.000-07:00

"The Arawak Indians say that everything has jaguar. Nothing exists without it. It is the tie to all life and all manifestations of life..." (Ted Andrews, Animal Speak)

When I started this blog in 2007, I wanted to speak of the journey of being a Priestess. This includes not just the ordinary things, but the mystical, mysterious things as well. Well, the former is well represented in these posts - through seeing the ordinary in magickal ways - but the latter seems rather under-represented. I want to take the wild expeditions through the land of "woo-woo" and make them accessible, if not entirely understandable. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. Anyhoo, here is my current expedition, documented while in the field, as it were. This isn't a cut-and-dried thing as of this moment...which is altogether a good thing, methinks. :-)

It started with a Cuddle Party - which is basically an uber-gentle introduction into the world of (Western) Tantra. I gathered together with several men and women, received direction as to how the evening would unfold, then began to explore the realm of touch in an intimate, but non-sexual, way. This would seem to be right up my alley; I wouldn't mind more touch in my life, and I would prefer to move slowly, for various personal reasons. I thought all went well that evening...the full impact didn't hit me until later the next day. That would be about the time I found myself curled in a fetal position, mind locked in an anxiety feedback loop, thinking that celibacy would be a very good way to go for the rest of my life, and that everyone - EVERYONE - needed to be kept At Arm's Length, which is the way I used to relate to the world.

Something was very definitely wrong in the State of Victoria, and I'm not thinking about Australia.

For one, the level of anxiety I was feeling didn't correspond with anything I've experienced in this lifetime. Other lifetimes, that's a different matter - but those sticky points have been brought to the surface and cleared.

For two, this isn't the first time I've dealt with these feelings and very strong emotions. The summer of 2009 was all about Working on my personal stuff in this life, and the summer of 2010 was about Working on the personal stuff carried over from previous lives.

(For three, the "triggering event" was completely different in this latest summer!)

So with this stuff re-surging within my Awareness as if I was meeting it for the very first time, it hit me: I've moved beyond Working the Personal Stuff. I've graduated to Working on the Trans-Personal Stuff now! (My initial response after this A-HA! moment was a long, exhaled, "Greeeaaat," in the style of "Oh crap, looks like I gotta go back to the mat again! Give me Strength, Great Mother!")

I am calling this TPS the Energy of the Wounded Maiden...partly because it fits in with the time in my life (several lives, actually) when I was triggered, partly because that's the "flavor" of this energy: She who was forced to grow up, and/or was forced into a situation, before She was truly ready for it.

In Working with this energy, I am finding a lot of it having to do with Identity, personally and collectively, in the whole "I'm not ready to act/perform in this way, or be this person/fill this role that I am expected to be." This is actually the most fascinating part - at least, when I'm not knee-deep in feeling my way through a moment when I've been triggered and I need to claw my way through it! I am beginning to see how the "little-i" within me fights to keep her boundaries in place, and insists on growing "at MY pace, thank you!" I am also beginning to see how this "little-i" is trying way too hard to "grow up" and become the "Big-I," when all she/I/we really need to do is simply Relax and BE. Realignment in process! (LOL)

Clawing my way through an episode is actually a perfect segue to the other part of this equation, which I used to introduce this post. I am co-creating solutions to this challenge that's been set before me; more on that in a little bit. I am also reaching into my Bag O' Tricks to Work on the astral planes to see what solutions I can come up with myself via Visualization, (or as I sometimes call it, "Vision-Questing for Shamans Stuck in the Burbs.") ;-) This last time, I found myself shifting into a Jaguar Woman, facing the demons that came up before me and dispatching them with my claws. Ah - the Jaguar is coming into prominence at this time. Most Excellent!

I see her as a "refinement" of the Primal Feminine energy, not as wild and dangerous as Dragon. More approachable, Jaguar is...but still capable of dismembering you with a single swipe if push comes to shove, so don't push! For the record, Jaguar is described in Animal Speak under the same entry as "Panther." This medicine is about Reclaiming One's True Power, especially in the realm of sexuality! Tres apropos! (And if you want to know more, I invite you to read the entry yourself!)

With the Jaguar Medicine flowing within me, I attended a second Cuddle Party.

This time, I didn't have to wait until the next day to be impacted by the interactions; I am happy to say I experienced some deep and healing releasing, allowing at least one circuit in my life to be unexpectedly but wonderfully cleared and completed! In the days that followed, instead of wanting to contract and close off from the world, I felt myself opening and expanding to it, albeit gently. I had to rearrange parts of my schedule so that I could have some quality Alone Time, but it felt Right and Lovely. Further, in the synchronous ways of Divine Perfect Timing, I am going to be co-creating some more dynamic transformations with my newest bestie in a one-on-one session that just might shift the Earth on its axis! ;-)

Something very interesting that has occurred to me recently: this part of the Work that I'm doing now...it keeps coming up for another reason, not just so I can clear it on different levels. I'm beginning to entertain the idea that this might be the very Work I'm supposed to share with the world; in other words, what my Calling to be a Priestess is Really All About. I'm still sitting with this, and I'll let y'all know how things develop. :-)

(31 in 31 - #7) BEing with~in Nature...

2011-07-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

"Naiad Grove" (Gerton, NC 5/11)

The joy of the wolves, frolicking and howling in the full moon's light ~ is my joy.
The sorrow of the elephants, noting and mourning the passing of one of their own ~ is my sorrow.
The work of the beaver, building and maintaining her dam ~ is my work.
The play of the squirrel, leaping from tree to tree, rolling and tumbling on the ground ~ is my play.
The hunger of the bear, for salmon and berries and honey ~ is my hunger.
The thirst of the hummingbird, to sip the sweet nectar of the flower ~ is my thirst.
The flitting of the butterfly, here and there, in the meadow ~ is my activity.
The napping of the cat, stretched out in a sunny spot on the ground ~ is my rest.

The life-force that runs through the world around me
Also runs through and fills the empty places within me.
Knowing this, how could I not look around
And know that this, too, is me?
How could I behold they who live in Nature
and not know them as All My Relations?

IMPOSSIBLE! :-)

Confirmation - the gift of a Crow Feather. (Gerton, NC 6/11)

Second Maidenhood

2011-06-30T17:03:00.000-07:00


Sunrise. (Mebane, NC 5/11)

During my Grand Adventure, I felt more than my "inner biologist" stirring back to life. In finding myself again, I reconnected with the joie de vivre that is present simply by Participating Fully in and with Life. I had not felt so enthusiastic about "Playing the Game" for many years, taking great pleasure and delight in the information brought to me by my five senses. (My first taste of "Mexican Street Corn" alone - AH! Thank You, Great Mother!) I didn't find myself reverting entirely back to the days of childhood, not quite. Instead, I found myself in what I call a Second Maidenhood...my body felt ripe, the world felt fresh, and every experience was a Divine Invitation to come and frolic in the Garden of Earthly Delight! It was an invitation I accepted, again and again. I felt myself opening up anew...

Magnolia Blossom. (Atlanta, GA 6/11)

...and I brought the "Maiden Magick" home with me to California. Shortly after my return, the annual County Fair in Del Mar ran a promotion that allowed people to get in for a mere three dollars. Not only that, it was on a day where you could get "tastings" from the food vendors (aka, Normal Portion Sizes!) for a mere two dollars each! Oh hell yes I went - and on public transportation to boot, so I wouldn't have to stress over parking! :-)

Ground level view of the main drag. (Del Mar, 6/11)

To answer your question - yes, you CAN be mostly vegan and still score YUMMY things! I had a bit of artichoke, a sampling of very fresh potato chips, a falafel ball, one serving of what was called "Aussie Battered Potatoes," and some sweet corn on ze cob, fresh off the barbeque! (the ear had been wrapped in its husk so it wouldn't get crisped.)

Meet some of my new friends. ;-) (Del Mar, 6/11)

They have a Gem and Mineral Show every year. Of Course I stopped in and visited, scoring a few needed stones in the process.

View from the carousel. (Del Mar, 6/11)

Okay, in this instance, I did jump back into my childhood. My inner seven-year-old would not let me pass by the carousel without going 'round one time. I rode side-saddle, since I was wearing a long skirt.


Bird's Eye View. (Del Mar, 6/11)

After the carousel, I took a ride on the Ferris Wheel. The view at the top was spectacular, but you're going to have to take my word on that one - this was the only picture I managed to take before my camera's batteries crapped out on me. :-( However, I did discover that I like to ride the Ferris Wheel. :-)

I continue to feel the renewed joie de vivre, even as the energetic shifts have propelled me in interesting directions...more on that front shortly.

Words & Images from the Grand Adventure

2011-06-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

Looking at the mountains from Asheville, NC (5/11)

The entire purpose of this Adventure was to attend yet another gathering of my Home Tribe, also known as the Big Glow community. This time, however, I wanted to give myself some more time on the East Coast, instead of flying out, communing, and flying back home again lickety-split. So I "pencilled in" a drum circle to attend before the retreat, and some time to connect with other friends after the retreat; thus did three days (or so) turn into three weeks. As usual, I declared my intentions, and the Universe responded with a bounty of Experience beyond my humble expectations!

Something interesting and unexpected occurred during this Adventure of mine: I found myself reconnecting with the sensawunda I had as a girl, she who dreamed of solving the Mysteries of Nature when she grew up. As the Earth is my Mother, and my Family of Choice are my Soul Siblings, then I was "reintroduced" to a mess of cousins in the Natural World. (LOL) So let me point out some of the highlights of my Adventure - those moments that made the Little One within squeal in delight...mainly because this West Coast girl was seeing some native East Coast flora & fauna for the very first time with her own eyeballs! :-)


Mr. & Mrs. Goldfinch (Gerton, NC 5/11)

Insert first squeal of delight here, when I saw goldfinches, in their Summer Finery, feeding outside my hostesses' window! It took some stealthy ninja tactics to photograph them, but photograph them I did, with their permission!

Seagull. (Folly Beach, SC 5/11)

I am familiar with seagulls, unless they have black heads. Then I stop and ask them if I can take their picture. These gulls fascinated me utterly, since they were a new variant on a familiar theme.

Jellyfish. (Folly Beach, SC 5/11)

I must have seen at least a dozen jellyfish during my stay by the sea, washed up upon the shore at various times. Yes, I touched them, on their harmless domes - not on the bottom, where the nasty stinging tentacles are! I was surprised to feel that their domes were hard, almost plastic-feeling, and not anything like gelatinous.

Two wee sea anemones. (Folly Beach, SC 5/11)

I love the ocean. As such, I am a bit biased in taking my pictures. ;-)
I loved seeing oysters instead of mussels on the rocks, and the different types of barnacles.

"Collage du Mer" (Folly Beach, SC 5/11)

Grandmother Ocean arranged these shells so artfully. I did nothing except take this picture to admire Her creativity. :-)

Petrified Trees. (Folly Beach, SC 5/11)

This was part of an entire forest of petrified trees & wood bits on the shoreline. It was a natural cathedral, and I spun up some impromptu ceremony in this sacred space.

The Postmistress. (Folly Beach, SC 5/11)

My sisters and I occasionally departed our beach Base O' Operations to make forays into town, or at least, places of denser population. I found this lovebug on one such excursion. Cat and Crow medicine followed me out to the East Coast; the latter birds wouldn't hold still long enough for me to document their presence! (LOL)

Blessing of the Chickens. (Mebane, NC 5/11)

Okay, I have seen chickens on the West Coast. However, they didn't come out to greet me and bless me with their presence like these did. (They thought I had food, but I didn't. They came to wander around my feet anyway.)

Leaf, with Dew. (Mebane, NC 5/11)

Animals weren't the only things that caught my eye...and Mother Earth is also a Divine Artist.

Cicada. (Mebane, NC 5/11)

Our retreat happened to unfold during the time the cicadas emerged from their long dormancy to mate and lay their eggs before perishing en masse. It was fascinating to hear the sound of their wingbeats fill the air with an almost extraterrestrial noise. It was not as fascinating to experience them as living hair accessories! At least, I wasn't as appreciative of that cicada in that moment... ;-)

Termites! (Gerton, NC 6/11)

Staying with the bug theme a moment longer, I was fascinated by this spontaneous mass migration of termites from a dead tree on the property of my hostess. My first thought when I saw this plethora of tiny wings flitting in the air? "Fairies!" There's an innocent child's remark! :-)


Gray Squirrel. (Gerton, NC 6/11)

Oh yes, the squirrel medicine followed me as well. I was equally amused and amazed by the ease with which they could gallop from branch to branch, tree to tree, earth to sky and back again. :-)

The "Finger Tree." (Atlanta, GA 6/11)

I was awed to see the hand rising up to the sky in this tree, so I received permission to take the picture. Can you see the hand?

Un duck. (Atlanta, GA 6/11)

I see ducks on the West Coast - just see some of my earlier entries - but not with this coloration of plumage.

Settling in for the night. (Atlanta, GA 6/11)

Duck, duck, Goose! Geese I don't see on the West Coast, so I was honored to catch a glimpse of this extended family during my brief stay in Georgia.

Star Flower. (Naples, FL 6/11)

This flower caught my eye because it was a stand-out, regardless of what coast I'm on. Another Divine Work of Art.

Butterfly Trickster. (Naples, FL 6/11)

...and the Butterfly Medicine was present for me in the East as it is in the West. Their increased presence especially during the second half of my Adventure was a quiet reflection of the shifting that unfolded within me on the trip.

This shifting is still taking place in this moment...

Now the words are here again... :-)

2011-06-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

Peeking above the surface once more. (Naples, FL 6/11)

I chuckle when I see it's been nearly two months since I visited this blog. There were times when I wanted to write,but the words would not come...so I let them abide.
There was also a time when I really didn't want to say anything. This was right after Beltaine, when I found myself feeling rather Disconnected - and more, discouraged. Summer is supposed to be a time of great growth; as this season begain, I was feeling anything BUT. Yes, I was throwing a little pity party for myself - putting in "all this work" (which wasn't a whole lot, comparatively speaking, if truth is to be told) and not getting "any" results. The results were coming, just not in the way I wanted them to manifest: that is, as money, as a source (or sources) of steady income. That's where the discouragement was coming in - if this effort to Be the Priestess wasn't bringing me any results, what was the whole blessed point? If I'm not supposed to be a Priestess, what the sam-hill AM I supposed to be? More disturbing was the thought: what if I have been wasting my time? What if (gasp!) mom was right, and I need to find a muggle job after all? Perish the thought!

Following my path back to the center. (Naples, FL 6/11)

What I really needed was to re-center myself. All of the shifting energies around me were throwing me out of equilibrium. To find my way back to center, I wound up leaving my physical center - my home in SoCal - and traveled back east for a time. In this Grand Adventure that lasted three weeks (though it seemed like it lasted three years, at times!), I found myself again.
I found myself through letting go of some dearly held expectations, which allowed me to open up to what unfolded before me in the Now. I found myself both in the company of cherished friends and also in rich, comfortable solitude. I found myself in the mountains, by the sea, near tiny blips of towns and in the hearts of grand metropoli. I found myself in the loud pounding rhythm of shared drum-beats, in the ubiquitious background whirr of ten thousand pairs of cicada wings, and in complete, deep silence. Most importantly, as a subtle, gently pervasive thread throughout my wanderings, I found myself, again and again, In Nature.
I also found myself in some of the most Divinely Exquisite food I've ever eaten...


...like this Fried Green Tomato Salad. (Folly Beach, SC 5/11)

Successive entries will detail this Grand Adventure a bit more in depth. :-)

It's been a week since I returned home to my Casita de California. The luggage is long since unpacked, the laundry done, the treasures admired and squirreled away. I've come to realize that some of the detachment I was feeling prior to my escapade - and am feeling after it - comes from a very radical shift in perspective, thanks to my interactions with members of the Tree Nation. There is a Serenity present within me that comes from those who measure time in centuries, not in seconds...and I'm still assimilating this new sensation, so it feels a bit alien, yet. Another factor is the fact that I've actually been a bit out of my body: part of my Awareness remains within me, but part of my Awareness is elsewhere, out on the Light Grid that is forming around the Earth, as I do my part in the necessary Work of Transition. This agreement I'm rewriting a bit - lovely and necessary as this Work is, I have come here to enjoy my Experiences in a Flesh-Body first and foremost. So I'm sharing the load a bit more, "doing" a bit less by myself so I can be more centered in my body. Once again, it seems I need to learn not to "bring the work home with me" after a long night in my Dreamtime Office! (lol)

I'm back. Anyone miss me? ;-)

On being...a Renunciate

2011-04-20T13:54:00.000-07:00

...You may find yourself living in a beautiful house

With a beautiful wife

And you may ask yourself,

"Well, how did I get here?"

(Talking Heads, "Once in a Lifetime")

That's the question I've been asking myself as of late - Well, how did I get HERE?
It has taken my review of my Taoism books to make some blessed sense of the frequency I'm inhabiting these days. For a bit over a year, I've been all but unemployed...and truth be told, not terribly inspired to look really hard for a new job. I've been wanting to cultivate/co-create my own source of steady income - merging my Work with my work - and have precious little manifested for myself!

(Now, before I go further, absolutely no worries, all right? I'm not two steps away from homlessness. Financially, I'm okay. Promise.)

I found the word that fits me these days in one of my Taoist books: renunciate. Double-checking with ye olde dictionary, I confirmed its fit: one who has renounced (given up, disowned) something. Well, yes, I've given up quite a few things that used to inhabit my life, including sugar, gluten, dairy (most of the time, except for some occasional cheese), televised news, and most shows that pass for "entertainment" these days. Outside of sports programs, I don't watch a lot of TV anymore, in truth. I would also say I've disowned the apocalyptic, fatalistic, and "poor-me-I'm-such-a-victim" mindsets - more importantly, I don't have room for these mindsets in my life. With my sensitivities to energetic ebbs and flows seemingly increased a thousand-fold, my BS Meter is set off pretty easily...and it doesn't take a whole lot TO set it off these days! "Nope, don't have the time for you in my reality. Toodles!"

When I left my muggle job at the answering service last year, I didn't intend not to work again (hardly) at all. I didn't desire to cut myself all but entirely out of the ebb and flow of the collective Agreement we call "Civilization" - yet this is the place where I've wound up, bobbing nearly solitarily in a pond I've never seen before and not entirely sure in which direction to swim to find other bobbers. Maybe I really don't want to move about at all!

This is where my faith comes in...Grand Movements are afoot. Though I can't see them, and I don't really know (if I'm completely honest with myself) exactly where I'm going, I know I'm on my way to an Awesome Destination. Most of the time, I'm actually enjoying the journey - and in truth, it's not like I've just been twiddling my thumbs and waiting for special dispensation from the Pope. I have been uber-busy, but most of the work has been internal. Now and again, though, I wonder, Well, how did I get here, and what's going to happen next?

In this, I'm no different from anyone else in not knowing THE answer...so I'll just keep ambling along until the sun rises and shows me the rest of the path that my feet are following. :-)

(31 in 31 - #6) "She Cleans Up Well" ;-)

2011-04-15T17:37:00.000-07:00

First,
She takes a brush to her hair
To evict the metaphoric rats that have taken up residence
Iin the massive tangles beneath the slope of her skull.

Next,
She methodically sheds her fabric skins -
Articles that had kept her together during her Metamorphosis in the Chrysalis
When the boundaries of her life had melted and her essence had become a glorious goo.
Now they are heavy with stagnant qi and fragrant in politically incorrect ways.
She folds them up with gratitude and silently surrenders them to the Holy Laundry Hamper.

Then,
She enters her bamboo grotto,
Washing away any lingering fears and doubts beneath her faux waterfall.
She tiptoes from bath to boudoir, steaming, shell-less, and soft.

Eventually,
She emerges from her sanctuary, fresh new fabric skin covering her form,
Imbued subtly with that seductively nurturing fragrance, Vanilla Body Lotion!
One last drying and brushing of her hair to shed any final vestiges of snarled nests.

Finally,
As she steps out the back door,
She glances at her reflection and smiles:
The human disguise still fits.

Further Along Realignment Road

2011-04-01T11:34:00.000-07:00

No worries, I'm still here. Giving myself an opportunity to check in...

I figured, with the big energy shifts last month (detailed here), that I would be "knocked offline" for a few days, then I'd jump back into the cyber-stream, publishing bits of punk poetry and puttering around here and there.
I expected to be de-centered.
I didn't expect to be de-centered so completely. Once more through the wash-rinse-spin cycle of Life, aye!
I wasn't personally in Japan, but Shit Howdy that was a powerful quake! (Pardon my Swahili) I am gaining more and more empathy with those who have been feeling the movements of Gaia and the Collective Consciousness since Day One of their existence...I started to feel these sensitivities way later in life, and damned if I haven't been knocked for a loop every single blessed time something major goes down!
I am, however, continuing to find my way through - through the storms, through the stillness, through the fear, through the uncertainty. I close my eyes, touch the Earth, breathe into my belly, and eventually everything starts to make sense again.
After the Equinox, I've recovered some Creative mojo, and I've taken up my book again. Yes, I've joined every other person alive today and am in the process of writing a book...actually, it's more like transcribing the dictation I've received from the Universe. Think my Wetware blog, only more free-ranging and, dare I say, political. (hee hee)
Also after the Equinox, I began what I'm calling a Spring Cleaning of my chakras. Not quite two down and I've already uncovered loads of Shadow-material to be cleared! Let me reach a stopping point on that, then I'll share. I'm setting an intention that this internal Spring Cleaning will also manifest in external ways, to the benefit of all in my realm! (mainly my mother, who really doesn't like all of the clutter. lol) ;-)

I will take up the poetry posting again, soon. I will be a bit more talkative, soon. I wanted to stop in and say all was well in my world - and still looking rather sunny and bright, despite the shape-shifting. I'll close with some random beauty...

You can't go wrong with a lovely ocean shot, can you? ;-)

(31 in 31 - #5) Invocation*

2011-03-08T17:52:00.000-08:00

In honor of International Women's Day...

I was brought up from the earth
Tempered in the flames of the crucible
Quenched in the holy water
And blown clean by the winds of change!

All things merge within me
And flow forth, transformed, through me!
I am the nexus, the fulcrum, the pivot!

My eyes behold the beauty
My ears behold the beauty
My nose beholds the beauty
My hands do hold the beauty
Within me and around me,
Above me and beneath me.

I am the change I see in the world.
I am the chosen one, the awaited one, the prophesied one.
I am still and know truly that I Am!
I move forward in the rush of the dynamic YES!

I am the Daughter of Changing Woman
Bringing the Change to the world!
Sisters and Brothers of Love, Life, and Laughter,
Come and change the world with me!

AI-YAH!
(and so it is)

*originally created 2/09

(31 in 31 - #4) Deep Wisdom

2011-03-07T17:49:00.000-08:00

The purr of a single cat
Can dispel a thousand sorrows.

(31 in 31 - #3) Rainy Lullaby

2011-03-07T11:40:00.000-08:00

I heard the rain singing to me last night.
I felt my shoulders drop a foot, and my heart sighed in joy.
My entire body softened and took a full breath.

I do not hear a sad song when the rain starts to fall.
The rain sings of slowing down,
relaxing,
breathing deeply
and moving gently.
No need to rush or hurry,
Take the time to savor this moment.

The rain provides a lovely backdrop
for activities centered in the Slow,
like reading,
meditating,
and sleeping.

I fell asleep last night listening to the song of the rain.
It is the lullaby for my wild child within.

(31 in 31 - #2) Peace is...

2011-03-05T16:39:00.000-08:00

Allowing the wind to push you across the lake as you float upon a bed of reeds.

The sound of a rushing stream, happy unto itself.

Sitting in the presence of a Queen.

Birds singing for the joy of singing.

Knowing that there's an oasis of calm that you can visit when the "outside world" gets a little too hairy.

Napping after enjoying some time in the sun.

Knowing that you are loved, and love-able.

(31 in 31 - #1) Kitchen Haiku

2011-03-04T16:09:00.000-08:00

Bubbling in the pot.
Doesn't matter what's cooking...
Gentle soothing sound.
:-)

Choosing to Accept...

2011-03-02T17:55:00.000-08:00

I know this dancing mermaid. I have her badge on the side of my blog.
She's thrown down a challenge: 31 poems in 31 days.
I've read all 31 of her poems and enjoyed them immensely. I totally recommend that you read them too, if you haven't already.

I'm accepting her challenge.
They won't be winter poems; they'll be spring ones. They might not be posted exactly consecutively, but they will be posted - all 31 of them, right here.
The fun starts with the new moon...

Shall we see what blooms? :-)

Embracing "The Priestess"

2011-02-19T21:37:00.000-08:00

Beauty in Seclusion. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

I love this pic of the tree covered in Spanish Moss. I had no idea how I was going to use it, until now...

Between Imbolc and the new moon, I experienced a major realignment. It was as subtle as my first Big Glow retreat experience had been dynamic, but both experiences served to split me open to my very core. I found myself unable - no, more like unwilling - to be a Social Butterfly. I really and truly needed to unplug for a time from the hoopla generated by the Wacky Tribe of Apes who call themselves human. So, once I had fulfilled my final "social obligation" last Saturday, I disconnected.
For a week, I limited my computer time to checking my email only...no Social Media sites, no Ning sites, no Forum sites, NADA. I also kept my "realspace" interactions to a minimum as well. Instead, I read a lot; mostly some of my books on Taoism. I puttered around in my newly cleared patio a lot, bringing some much needed order to what had been previously been overrun by chaos. I also went to my new fave place in Nature, Kit Carson Park.
(What, you think I'd pass up an opportunity to plug upcoming Awesomeness from my Home Tribe? Shut yo' mouth! LOL)

While at ze Park...

Water Falling. (Kit Carson Park, 2/11)

I completely "geeked out" every time I saw, or heard, the sound of running water. This may seem strange, until I explain that I live next door to a farking desert, and the sight/sound of water is a rare and precious thing to behold in SoCal. ;-)

I shared some meditation time with this squirrel. Right here, he's in the middle of a complicated "semaphore" display with his tail. I think he was telling the other squirrels, "Road busy! Do not cross!"

Mr. and Mrs. Duque. (Kit Carson Park, 2/11)

I also visited my version of Walden Pond, known here as "Sand Lake," to commune with the ducks, coots, and other waterfowl.

It is most felicitous I chose to focus on reading my Taoism books at this point, for the Information that I "uploaded" into my brain percolated in my psyche and brought me to the second significant A-HA! moment I've experienced this year.

See, right before Yule this past December, I had my first A-HA! moment while attending a presentation/ceremony at the Goddess Temple of Orange County. The presenter was a fascinating woman named Dr. Marguerite Rigoglioso, who is sharing ideas that will either thrill you or scare you, depending on your perspective. (Click on her name to get an idea of what I'm talking about.) I experienced a massive dose of the former, especially as I saw my entire life rearrange itself before my awareness as she spoke!
The A-HA! moment unfolding at Imbolc, I'm choosing to call The Great Thaw - I felt a lot of artificial restriction melting within me and flooding out of me. There was one day, in fact, where I could not stop crying. I was definitely a Hot Mess for a time!
Both of these significant episodes have led me to adapt new operating paradigms in my life - paradigms that don't start with, or contain, any sort of "Something Is Wrong With/in Me" message hidden in them. Paradigms that show me how my life could not have unfolded in any other way than it has - and that way has been the most perfect, and most felicitous, for me to travel...even when I've thought otherwise!

Ten years ago, I chose to follow the Path of the Priestess when I was initiated into Wicca at Imbolc. (Yup, in 2001. Gods, but that seems like a lifetime ago!) Ten years ago, I thought I knew what that meant - but I didn't even grasp a fraction of it! Not until I've wrestled with my deepest Shadows and seen them blink. Not until I've had my life spun around several times over. Not until I've been cracked open to my core so that I could grow even bigger than before.
So what does all of this mean?

It means that, in this moment at least, my life is unfolding in a very ancient and traditional pattern, as the Priestess who is a part of her Society/Community, but significantly holds herself apart from it. This was the paradox that was giving me fits, until I realized its truth: being A Part, vs. being Apart, is not an either/or proposition! It's a both/and proposition, as I flow between Activity and Rest. That was a HUGE relief to realize!
It means that I've allowed myself to get too caught up in labels, definitions, measurements, schedules, agendas, and a whole bunch of Structure which, in truth, was really Restriction! So I've gone and chucked it ALL out the window! For at least the forseeable future, my life and activities will flow from the answer to this one question: Does this arise from, and/or support, my Authenticity, with Integrity to My*Self? If the answer is Yes, I'll take action; if No, I'll take no action. Wu-wei, baby!
It also means that I'm not going to be as active online as I used to be. My blogs will still continue to exist; they, in fact, are going to be my top priorities. As for the social stuff - I'll respond promptly if it's urgent; otherwise, you'll hear from me eventually. Capice? ;-)

I feel there's more of a depth to my be*ing than there was previously. Initially, I felt that certain of my energies, namely my feminine/yin energies, were "stunted" in relation to my masculine/yang energies. Now I can see that all I really need to do is honor and move with the yin as I have honored and moved with the yang. It's simply a matter of recognition, yo.


Let's call them "Yin" & "Yang." (Encinitas, 1/11)

How I spent my Imbolc

2011-02-09T21:11:00.000-08:00

Well, as I promised last time, I got crafty. Here is the Imbolc wreath I revamped:

Because it's a straw wreath, the candles don't always behave. ;-)

To celebrate Imbolc itself, I made my way to Questhaven. After walking their labyrinth, I set out on the Singing Springs trail...

Greeted by a HUGE flowering tree at the start of the trail!

Passing through one of several portals...

Crossing over a bridge into Faerie territory :-)

The rock formation at trail's end


...and the springs were Singing! :-)

I stayed for a long time by the stream, taking in the sound of rushing water. Eventually, I got my fill, and took my leave. I went to visit the Blessed Mother (Mary) before leaving the grounds.

Post-Questhaven, I chose to visit the Jade Buddha, which was making a stop at the California Center for the Arts (in Escondido.) I didn't know what to expect - but an outdoor temple was not on the list!

The Jade Buddha at the center of the "temple"

The day I stopped by just happened to be the celebration of the Lunar New Year for the local Vietnamese community. I took in the energy of new beginnings, devotions, and celebrations. I even received a New Year's Blessing from a Buddhist Monk. :-)

As I left, wouldn't you know who I would notice flying alongside me? Hello, Crow! (lol)

I've got some more pix of the day, but Blogger is acting up a bit, so I'll post the full photo experience on my Facebook page.
I've also been experiencing some very profound internal shifting. I'm still processing a lot of it, so I'll save that part of the story till later... ;-)

Checking in...

2011-01-28T23:33:00.000-08:00

Okay, can I just say off the top that I cannot believe it's still January! With Spring unfolding right now around me, and with all of the Work I've done, I've been feeling it's more like mid-February! (lol)

Oh, my. The Work.
I have begun my new blog, From the Wetware. More Information than I expected has come through, and there will be a new post up very shortly! I began a series of Wisdom-Share Circles in the area, thanks to a lovely friend who is renting her space at a very generous rate. I am going to be facilitating a ceremony for the next Sabbat that's coming up (Imbolc), and I've also lined up a speaking gig at a local metaphysical shop; I shall present the idea of Rewriting Your Story! I've also been following the Rhythms of the Earth and Sky, and have a couple of Tiny Adventures to share with y'all very soon!

And there have been lessons and surprises as well...I see how I've been allowing my pride to get in the way of manifesting Prosperity in my life - that is, "I'm on this Spiritual path, so there's No Way a muggle job can serve me." So I'm focusing more on finding that additional source of steady income that can assist me as I nurture my Priestess Work in the world. Just as I get comfortable with that concept, a muggle stint that has been serving me since late October suddenly, and abruptly, ended.
Time for a Confession. I've been keeping a secret from y'all, one that I can now reveal, in part: I was a Mystery Shopper for a major grocery company for about three months. Although it was providing me with a stream of income, it wasn't truly in alignment with my Authenticity, if I can be completely honest. Yes, it was a wonderful experience of stretching me out of my comfort zone - but I wasn't breaking even, financially, and some of the food was, in fact, at a lower frequency than my body prefers to ingest. So the Goddess giveth, and the Goddess taketh away, when She feels it's necessary. Okay, it was necessary - but right now?

Never fear, faithful readers, I do have other options currently on the table that I am exploring. :-)
The more important point, though, is this: I have been carrying expectations about how my "Mystical Priestess Life" is supposed to look. Very recently - like last night into this morning - I was invited to drop those expectations...and behold! I'm living my "Mystical Priestess Life." Right Now. This Very Instant! I am taking the leaps of faith I believed I was supposed to take. I am doing the Work I believed I needed to do. How many more times do I need to be hit upside the head by the Holy 2x4 of Enlightenment before I get the message?!? (lol) Message received, finally, thank you! Here I am, the Queen of the Subtle Way, and I realize the Way has been so subtle, that I've been looking for one burning bush while the whole blessed forest has been on fire! ;-)

So...I breathe into my belly. I ask myself what I need to do next. My inner child jumps up joyfully and proclaims, "It's time to Create!" Indeed, I've got an artistic project or two that I want to do for the Springtime, and this is the perfect time to get crafty. Indeed redux ~ in all of the significant shapeshifting and Shadow-Working I've done for the past, what, two years or so? ~ I have neglected my Inner Artistic Creatrix. It's time to go into the darkened room, through back the curtains, and let the sunlight in. It's time to gather together the materials I need...ribbon, glue, artificial flowers. It's time to send the rational mind out for coffee and let the intuitive mind out to play. Remind me to take some pictures to share when I'm done, 'mkay?

I shall return...

A Breath of Fresh Air...

2011-01-07T16:41:00.000-08:00

That's what 2011 feels like so far. It's a power*full breeze as well; I've been a busy little bee these first few days in! A new blog to tend to, new Wisdom to share, new places to go, people to see, and things to do...the seeds I have planted have broken the surface. I have wee sprouts around me! :-)

I started the New Year off with a bang - or should I say, a drumroll...


Getting ready to paint the town red. (San Diego, 1/11)

The Red Lotus Society presented a little event called Peace in the Streets, asking folks to come and stand on the street corners in downtown San Diego and perform as the spirit moved them, in the name of promoting peace (and self-realization, and lots of other groovy stuff). Sounded like the perfect opportunity to go bang on ze drum, and I did - much to the dismay of one gentleman who lived right above me on the corner where I was rocking! But it was all good, and I kept the beat going later that evening with my sisters of the San Diego Women's Drum Circle! All told, I think I drummed for about five hours on the first day of the New Year! My body told me about it tomorrow..."Darling, you're not 21 anymore - and you're moving further away from that age by the DAY!"
I know, I know - but I still feel youth*full!

I have been putting together my 2011 with much deliberate attention and focused awareness...listing my goals, fasting at the dark moon to clear my body of any lingering ickiness from the previous year, envisioning what this new year will look like, and feeling myself moving again. Finally! As I said to my friend S. yesterday, "I'm done micromoving. I'm ready to GO!" Here's the brilliant part...I am going! :-)

Tomorrow I debut the first of my monthly Wisdom-Sharing Circles. Sunday I'm going to immerse myself in Real Life and move my body, still my mind. I have Creations to manifest and ceremony to plan. I realized the other day...I am living my Priestess Life right now. Okay, there may be a few aspects of my reality that are lagging behind just a tad. No worries; instead of dropping back down to be with these aspects that are lagging, so that I don't get "too ahead of myself," I'm going to work on lifting said aspects up to where I am now. I don't think I could live a "low-frequency" life anymore even I wanted to - and I definitely don't want to!

So envision me, grinning like the cat that ate the canary, as I play about with my Creations, online and offline, carefully cultivating them for a most bounty*full harvest. This is definitely going to be a Year of AWESOME!

Saving a serene seat for resting later. (San Diego, 1/11)

2010: Year of the Micromovement

2010-12-31T17:40:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of the season, as the old year is rung out and the new one is rung in, I thought I'd join in on the reflections.

This past year has seemed like I've taken a thousand micromovements in various directions. Sure, there were some major movements in this year-that-is-passing, but they were the exception, rather than the rule. I felt as though I were moving at the pace of the ant, the snail, the turtle - Very Slowly, and with lots of naps in between.

Considering all that was going on within me, though, I don't think I could have moved any faster if I'd wanted to. On my Facebook page, I have an album for the Big Glow retreats that I attended "this" year. I call it Realization. Indeed, that is what has happened to me.
Although I've talked a lot about being a priestess of the world, I micromoved into this role, claiming it and owning it completely, in 2010. Now, I truly AM the Priestess. I am a different woman than I was in January; hell, I'm a different woman than I was at the start of this month! (lol)

To sum, a bit...
The first realignment was complete at the Spring Equinox. I left everything muggle behind and rededicated myself to my Life Purpose, BE-ing the Priestess fully and completely!
The second realignment was complete at the Fall Equinox. I entered the higher frequencies of the "new" reality that is unfolding before us, more and more every day. The differences between who I was and who I am became readily apparent!
The third realignment was complete just after Samhain. Came the dawn of the Seventh (Mayan) day, and I was the anchoring point of a lovely Rainbow of the Goddess! The first steps of my new journey came clear!
The fourth realignment has just been completed, with Mercury going direct again. I seem to have returned to serenity, and awakened from hibernating. I'm still moving slowly, but it's the slowness of the Dreamer shifting back into the place of Wakefulness. I'll be moving more rapidly soon enough!

I don't doubt there will be further realignments, but they're more of a fine-tuning now, instead of an overhaul.

2010 is/was also the year to Work on those Shadows that lay underneath all the rest, bringing them up into my awareness and fully understanding them. I have released what no longer serves me, but find that there's still shadow-material present, after all is said and done...and this is okay. I have come to that place where I don't need to "fix" or "destroy" anything; all that is present is good As It Is, Right Now. After all the Work I have done, that's a lovely feeling indeed!

Ten thousand baby steps later, I turn and see that I've come a very long way.
Huzzah.
And the best part is - I've just gotten started. :-)

More notes (from the Bear's Cave)

2010-12-27T23:31:00.000-08:00

Ah. Finally I feel enough mojo to write again! Thus and so...

This Yuletide has been rather low-key, with a few intense spots scattered here and there...but I've mostly been following the Natural cycle, instead of the human one. I've been feeling my Bear medicine and having a nice Winter's nap - though I have been interrupted now and again. Initially, my reaction is always the same: muttering dark imprecations under my breath before growling, "I'd really like to return to my cave, thank you!" But, I manage to talk myself into playing nice instead of going back into my cave; with a few more grumbles, I get myself up and running (or at least shuffling) into the new day. There is definitely a sense of "I'll worry about that tomorrow" going on right now. As I swim beneath the holiday hoopla, have I finally found acceptance for my life As It Is, or is this a form of apathy? Or maybe somewhat of both? Something to consider over a cup of tea, for sure.

Speaking of wanting to "do it tomorrow," more often than not...I've found the source of some pesky resistance to being an entrepreneur, or at least tooting my horn louder than I have been. I find myself to be the type of artiste who prefers solitude and seclusion, coming out every now and again with something shiny and new, but wanting to be done with the whole "promotional" affair as quickly as possible before returning to my cave and going back to Creating new things. Even better - I'd love to have someone else do the "muggle-work" for me so I wouldn't have to do it! I know there are some Shadows tied to this, so perhaps there's some Work to be done in this arena; there's also a need to cultivate that inner businesswoman who is not afraid to toot her own horn loudly, proudly, and often! Perhaps this will be one of my New Year's resolutions...

The New Year, aye. There's another, semi-selfish reason why I'm hiving off my Wetware posts into a separate blog: They're starting to "take over" this blog. I want this space to be personal, and cozy, and quirky; besides, having sat with the concept for a while, I can see the Wetware blog as being/becoming more business-oriented and professional. I'm not sure if I'll offer my CD on just that blog, or on both blogs, yet...but I'm definitely going to offer my Informational "chicken scribbles" on the other blog. Very soon now, friends!

Perhaps this will get me into the mood: a very juicy event unfolding on New Year's Day in Downtown San Diego. It's called Peace in the Streets. I plan on bringing my drums that day and seeing what magick will unfold. This will then segue very nicely into the first drum circle with my sisters for the year as well! So I will be Drumming in the New Year; maybe the rhythms will carry me forward and inspire me to do some more significant Work! Emphasis on more - I will have a few IRL things to toot my own horn about in the near future, on one or both blogs...

Well, it's just past midnight here and now. So I think I'll put this bear to bed. Gods know when I'll get up tomorrow, especially with an immanent trip to the Moon Lodge on top of everything else! (lol)

From the Wetware: a pair of NICE pulses

2010-12-11T15:50:00.000-08:00

One significant thing before I jump into the nitty-gritty: Come 2011, these Wetware posts will be their own lovely blog! Not only am I finding this super easy to do, but I'm also finding it necessary, in some ways...
One, I want to present some of this Information in a more "muggle-friendly" format than I've seen other peeps do - not that all the Information isn't lovely, mind you, but if I'm scratching my head and trying to figure out something I've just read, I suspect others are as well! I wanna make this metaphysical stuff easy, ya know? ;-)
Two, I want to add my voice - a woman's voice, a feminist voice - to the chorus of advisors already out there. It goes back to accessibility: I would hope everyone who is seeking advice and Information would get something out of the words they read, and not feel slighted, discriminated against, or left out. If anyone ever feels otherwise, please feel free to drop me a gentle correction! The comment box IS open, and I rarely delete any comments...just the ones from the Spambots.

Now, ready Teddy to rock & roll? Because that's exactly what's just around the corner! I'm going to call them NICE pulses, which is going to stand for "New Intensely Concentrated Energy" pulses. I will grant you, some of them will feel more like Special High Intensity Transformation (you deduce that acronym!), but it'll all be good in the end. Promise. :-)
The first NICE pulse, which has already begun to make itself be felt, officially starts tomorrow (12/12) and lasts until the Solstice (12/21). This one is extra special because of the start and end dates: if you plug these dates into your Numerology decoder, you will find that both dates on the calendar (12/12/2010 & 12/21/2010) become 3-3-3, which, in turn, reduces to 9 both times.
So what?
Well, darling readers, "3" is a very power*full and revered number in just about every spiritual tradition on the planet! Three levels of reality (underworld, surface world, world above) ~ Heaven, Earth, and Human ~ Man, Woman, Child (from a biological standpoint, mind you) ~ and more Holy Trinities than you can shake the Holy 2x4 of Enlightenment at! "3" resonates deeply and profoundly within the human soul; when you triple three - three times three - ohmaigawds does that kick things up another notch, if not into a whole 'nother reality!
Now, remember that we're currently in a Descent phase, especially in the Northern Hemisphere; note as well that Mercury has gone retrograde again (ie - it looks like it's moving "backwards"), which also lends itself to introversion of energies. So the next 10 days or so are going to be Super Intense! Depending on where you are on your journey, it may feel very NICE...or it may feel (ahem) the "Other Way." Regardless, practice of Extreme Self-Care, and/or Connecting with Nature, will be most highly recommended! This will last until the Solstice, and will finish with a BANG, thanks to the lunar eclipse on the Solstice!

Post-Solstice, things will tend to remain still and gentle; this will allow us to catch our breath and rest until Mercury goes direct again at the end of the year. When it does go direct, then we'll have NICE pulse #2 - because for (roughly) the first three weeks in January, every single blessed heavenly body is direct! Nobody will look like they're going backwards! This is one of those "once in a lifetime" experiences, and I'm advised (both in my reading and by my posse) that this is going to be like drinking a six-pack of Red Bull, sans the nasty side-effects! Anything and everything in your life will be energized...so if you can hold off on starting any major projects or lifestyle changes, do so. Maybe some of those New Year's Resolutions will stick this time and become New Life Revolutions! Intend it to be SO! :-)

In case I don't post anything more upon this blog, Wetware or otherwise, may you all have a Blessed Holy*Day season, and a Brilliant New Year!

Notes from the New Reality

2010-12-07T22:37:00.000-08:00

Sunset at the beach. (Carlsbad, 6/10)

It has been a lunar year, if you count the moons, since I experienced my Soul Retrieval. I thought it would be the end of all of my Work.
I was wrong...yes, a circle came to a conclusion, but another circle began to be drawn once I left Lady M's place and began the drive back home.
In this past year, I have dealt with Shadows that I'd only briefly addressed before - Shadows having to do with shining fully in my Authentic Light, with loving deeply, even with being a woman in this go-around. I have felt my soul contract into a tight shell, only to expand outward again, blooming wider and more brilliantly than the last time.

I have come to understand my "Little Ones" more fully - these feelings that arise when I feel small and scared and separate. More - I have come to the place where I no longer need to "change" or "fix" them; all I need to do is love them. All I need to do is hold them in my arms and whisper to them, It's all going to be okay. Mommy promises.
For when I am feeling contracted, I ask myself how old I am. Usually I find that I'm seven or eight, sometimes a bit older, now and again a bit younger. That's what the ego truly is, you see...a small child who dwells within us, who gets scared and acts out of fear from time to time. What is needed is not to destroy it or bypass it or get rid of it; what is needed is to LOVE it, completely and unconditionally! How brilliant would we be as humans if our egos were unafraid to live and play with one another?
My higher self, my wise woman within - she is "Mommy." Sometimes she needs to be firm; other times, it's just about loving and delighting along with the "Little Ones" at life's miracles. We truly are Divinity Incarnate; the Divine spark within is our Parent. We are the parent and the child in one. Delicious.

Blooming anew, in the New. (Encinitas, 5/10)

And I find myself now living in a vast spacious place, where things can and DO manifest for me instantly. In this place, I can feel so much more than I used to, when science was my "religion" and things like empathy and energy-work and vibrations would have been viewed with much skepticism! ;-)
I abide in a much higher frequency these days...and I can feel when something is a much lower frequency. Certain places, certain situations, I have felt myself recoil and needing to protect myself from the lower, "icky" vibes! Certain foods remind me why I've changed my eating habits so radically when I encounter them again - and confirm for me that they need to stay changed!

I am learning to say "thank you" readily and often. I am learning that I don't always have to be neat and tidy in sharing my journey with the world. I know that I am not the same person who drove south to a sister shamanka's house a year ago...yet I recognize the part deep within me that remains steady and constant, regardless of what happens to my body, my soul, my life.
Speaking of my body, I finally have another number that identifies and confirms this "new" self I'm walking around in: ten. As in size 10 for jeans! Color me gobsmacked and over the moon! :-D

Grand Envisioning

2010-11-24T13:13:00.000-08:00

So how were the eleven days for you? You know, the "little" experiment from 11/11 to 11/22 this year, where we all combined our Visions to produce a great bit YES! for this wacky tribe of apes who call themselves human beings? Anything interesting happen?

I found myself once again with my usual co-conspirators, the Stone People. My "instructions" were to take a stone from various power spots in the North County and weave a bit of a web with them, to anchor the (present and future) incoming energies so peeps would get an optimum benefit.
Okey dokey, no problem!

I took some pix along the way, and will also show you where the anchor points are. To begin:
The initial two stones came from...
the labyrinth at Questhaven. The energies were really flowing that day as well, since it was at the start of the cycle.
I had intended to visit the labyrinth on the 11th itself, but a scheduling conflict pushed me out to the 12th. No worries; I just unglued myself and traveled back in time 24 hours to connect with the 11/11 energies! HA!

The lighter colored stone (top of the pair) found its way to...
the altar of St. Francis of Assisi at the SRF Meditation Gardens.

They also have a lovely koi pond...
where I found a dark stone to take with me, viz:

Said dark stone (at the top, with the red & orange), went to...
Queen Califia's Magical Circle in Kit Carson Park, where it switched places with another, lighter rock.
That was a bit of a challenge.
See, there are enclosed places within the circle where there are trees growing; in one of those little nooks were two stones. One was ready to come with, the other just wanted to get out of the nook entirely and "go somewhere, anywhere, else!" Fortunately, the walls of the nooks are just about as high as my arms are long, once I get on the bench that juts out from the nook and reach over! (I sympathize with the Stone People - they have a devil of a time getting from point A to point B on their own, and rely a LOT on someone or something to assist them!)
Anyway, the larger rock was completely happy to be beside the one tree that was not enclosed in the sculpture garden; the smaller rock (seen in the top of the above pic) accompanied me to the various "power points" in the park itself, which were completely lovely to visit, frisbee golfers notwithstanding! (lol)

A few days later, the rocks and I visited the coast...
at Tamarack Point Beach in Carlsbad.
This is a teeny strip of a beach sandwiched in between two much longer unbroken stretches. (I used to visit this beach often, when I worked in Carlsbad in the late 90's and early "aught's." I realized I hadn't been back to visit in five years!)
There's a lot more sand at this particular beach than there used to be; so much that many of the rocks were deeply buried. After some exploring, following my nose, and a bit of digging, I found the rock that was to journey to Questhaven's labyrinth in return:
I knew the dark rock at the top was coming back with me the moment my fingers touched it, some half-foot deep beneath the sand...

Sharp-eyed readers will notice that the bottom stone in all four pix stays the same. Correct! That stone turned out to be my "anchor" stone, which journeyed with me to all four locations. I initially thought she would be returned to the labyrinth at Questhaven when I was done; the night before I returned, though, she informed me that she would be staying with me. She will go into my main, personal juju bundle come the new moon in about a week and a half. :-)

That wasn't all that I did, but that's what I took pictures of.
Every night during the eleven nights, I joined my intention with the intention of others. I didn't always make it at 11:11pm, but I "uploaded" my energy every night, the stones in my hands. I contributed Love, Enthusiasm, Joy, Hope, Harmony, Miracles, Awakening, Understanding, Courage, Freedom, and Communion over the period of Envisioning - and not necessarily in this order. Each night, I ended with this chant:

I am resuscitated by the Living Air.
I am animated by the Immutable Fire.
I am full*filled by the Living Water.
I am supported by the Ever-Changing Earth.
I draw down the Timeless Knowledge of the Star-Nations.
I bring up the Ancient Wisdom of the Ancestors.
I allow these energies to enter into me~to mix within me~to merge at my Center.
From this place and time, my Light shines Bright in the Darkness!

The words came to me during my initial visit at Questhaven, and were used during the Envisioning. My Work complete in this moment, I share them with all who read this blog.

The Work that we do has the Power to Change Every*thing. Choose Wisely!

From the Wetware - Special Download

2010-11-09T11:46:00.001-08:00

I wanted to put a more "slice o' life" entry in between these two downloads, but that isn't going to work. So I'll shut up and just transmit the Information now, and worry about the more "normal" entries later...

There has been a lot of talk about these being the "End Times." Although we're not going to go through a blood-and-thunder production where most all of humanity perishes, and/or is condemned to eternal suffering (insert rolling of eyeballs here), there IS a bit of truth to this assertion.
See, the structures that kept us in place - quite literally in place, as in imprisoned in our own Shadow-houses of fear - are dissolving right before our eyes. The chaos that currently surrounds us is due in large part to the resistance that those who are attached to the "old" paradigms are feeling and expressing as the "new" paradigms are manifesting and allowing for mass Awakenings to what is real: instead of living in Fear, Lack, and Separation, we are now finding that we are actually meant to live in Love, Abundance, and Community...yea, and many of us are taking such steps to DO so! :-)

Starting with the "Triple-10" gate (when the date was 10/10/10), we are now in the place of tying off loose ends, resolving unfinished business, and if you'll pardon a spot of Swahili, choosing whether to shit or get off the pot. Many are choosing to leave the figurative loo altogether at this moment, much to the chagrin (and with much suffering and soul-searching) for those still in said loo - in other words, we're seeing a significant uptick in the number of folks taking their own lives, one way or another. This can be excruciatingly heart-breaking, but do keep one thing in mind: these folks will be back once the dust has settled. They are simply choosing to "opt out" of the Game at this point because they don't think they can hang in till the finish. I don't judge them, and if any should get "stuck," I'll be happy to help them out.

Anyhow, as we're releasing all the old toxic stuff, and clearing the way for new bright stuff to take its place, we've been Holding a Vision for what this new bright stuff is going to look like. (It's nice to go somewhere with an idea of where we're headed, yes?) So, in line with that, comes this little gem which I invite you all to take a look at, and if this deeply resonates with you, join up.
There is a group of scientists that are conducting a "little" experiment based on this theory: if one million people were to Hold the Vision for an Ascended Humanity (my term), for eleven minutes a day, over eleven days, starting at 11/11 (which is this Thursday), the fabric of what we call "reality" might shift to accomodate this Vision. Quantum physics, yo!

Why all the elevens, you ask? To take a whole bunch of esoterica and attempt to summarize and translate: eleven is a significant Power Number. It is often associated with Christ Consciousness; basically, it's a number that's charged with an Uber-Felicitous vibration!
Additionally, and this is a very significant point - by starting this on 11/11/10, we begin to trace a circle that will be completed on 11/11/11...and on that date, to steal a phrase, business will most definitely be picking up!
(I'll spare y'all Information Overload by leaving it at that right now, but I'll detail what I've been advised will happen at a later date. Of course, if you want to know now, feel free to holler back.)

So, to sum: On 11:11 pm (they say Eastern Standard time; I say use your local time to blanket the whole earth in a wave of Vision!), beginning on 11/11 (Thursday), consider for 11 minutes a Vision of Humanity as you believe it can be: peace*full, loving, and living in harmony, with each other and Mother Earth. Do this each day for eleven days (until we hit 11/22). Then let's sit back and see how this plays into the Descent.

I Double-Dog Dare you to come and play! ;-)

From the Wetware: "Descent 101"

2010-10-29T12:04:00.000-07:00

Before I jump into the topic du jour, I wanted to share a smidge from my experiences last weekend...
Remember how I mentioned that the weekend of the full moon would by the time of Planting the Vision that we've been carefully cultivating (consciously or no) this past year? Turns out I did some excellent "seed-planting" during a kirtan, of all things, on ze coast. For those who don't know, a kirtan is an event where people gather and do some devotional chanting in Sanskrit, to one or more Hindu deities. Hey, takes all flavors to spice up ze soup, right?
I should've known something was brewing when I began to spin just before the actual chanting began, but the shift into an altered state and doing the energy-weaving during the chants took me by surprise. There were four, maybe five chants total during the first half of the kirtan - so I planted four or five "seeds," manipulating the energetic currents at chest level, then grounding each "seed" into the Earth. My inner scientist was most fascinated by the whole process.
The second half of the kirtan was spent returning the majority of my awareness back into this reality. See, not only did I have to drive home, but I needed to be the lead in a mini-caravan, and I needed to be completely re-centered! I managed to get home just fine; making a return trip to the coast the next day, though, proved to be a rather interesting experience! And why do I keep thinking this Work that I do won't affect me directly? (LOL)

Now to our topic: everything you need to know about the upcoming Descent.
First off - this is NOT something bad or scary or undesirable. Let's toss that idea out the window right now. When Descent energies are present, it simply means that if you've been acting in an extroverted fashion, you will be encouraged to shift your personal vibration into more of an introverted and introspective frequency. If you're already introverted by nature, these feelings may become more intense. For the next six weeks, give or take, this is going to be a significant time of soul-searching, navel-gazing, and consideration of Why You're Here and What You're Meant to Do...for many of you, but not for all of you.

Depending on where you are in your personal journeys of spirit, this may also or instead be a time of significant cleansing, clearing, and purification. Old fears and ignored Shadows will rise into your awareness, to be dealt with NOW, please!
Northern Hemisphere residents will (probably) find that Winter's stillness makes this a more subtle and "quieter" process; Southern Hemisphere residents will (probably) find this process more dynamic and "messy" because of Summer's active energies.
Yea, even though the Descent concept is associated with the colder, quieter months of Winter, it looks like this event is going to be global, judging by the activities seen unfolding on the TV, along with the messages being downloaded from the Star-Nations. A keyword through the near future is going to be Intensity. Put simply, if you're at the stage for it, shit will hit the fan. Get your hip-waders and breathing masks ready.

If you've already done the Work, this is going to be your opportunity to Hold Space for other folks as they do their Underworld journeys. This may be as simple as visualizing serenity and "aha!" moments for the world and/or for your community, or as involved as actually having one of your BFF's stay with you for a while until s/he gets back on his/her feet.
There will be an opportunity in November to do a massive space-holding and seed fertilization if you're in a place to do so; I will post more info about that shortly (likely after Samhain).
As mentioned previously, we should feel the Descent energies lighten up starting around Yule, and definitely by Christmas. All indications so far are that the New Year will be kicked off with a BANG - and a good one at that! :-)

As further assistance for what the Descent entails, let me expand a bit on the archetypes I introduced earlier. (drawings courtesy of Getty Images)Inanna is the Sumerian "Queen of Heaven." She descended into the Underworld to visit Her sister Erishkigal (although some say She went to search for Her lover, Tammuz). On Her journey, She was forced to relinquish a part of Her material garb at each gate, so that She arrived at the final gate (literally) stripped of everything that marked Her as a queen; while in the Underworld, she experienced the Death Mysteries.

Persephone is the Greek Queen of the Underworld. The traditional mythology has Her abducted and forcibly married to Hades, the Lord of the Underworld. However, Her story is being rewritten in certain circles - She descends to the Underworld by choice, to see if She can alleviate the suffering of the souls trapped there. She chooses to eat the pomegranate seeds so She can return each Winter to Her dark realm, to help the souls on their journey to rebirth.

If you'd like some more info about either Goddess, go Google 'em. This way I encourage you to do a bit of your own learning. ;-)

The other keyword through this time of Descent is going to be Compassion, for yourself and for those who are going through more intense portions of the journey. Know when to engage the Shadows, when to nurture yourself, and when to hold space for others. Listen to your intuition. Follow your heart through the dark times, and you will find yourself in the light of the dawning New Year once more. This, I know; this, I promise. Catch y'all on the flip side... :-)

Getting rather "political" with purple thoughts...

2010-10-20T16:35:00.000-07:00

{Disclaimer: now and again I'm going to comment on what's going on in the greater world. This is a "political post" and I'm expressing my opinion. This is my opinion only; agree or not as you choose. Be advised as well that while disagreement is perfectly expected and acceptable, venemous responses will be deleted. Now, onto the post.}

Rocking the purple from head to toe. (@home, 10/10)

Today has many different names, but the theme behind these names is the same: bullying, especially homophobic bullying, is Not Acceptable anymore in this day and age. Many are wearing purple today to support those who don't fit into the hetero mold; I would be one of the purple people.
Now I'm going to take this issue and raise the controversy level several notches... ;-)

A lot of attention has been focused on those who have been bullied, and rightly so. But what about those who are doing the bullying? This side of the equation also needs to be looked at, folks!
A bully acts out from fear, pure and simple - the fear that is roiling about in the bully's soul like a stormy sea. Where does this fear come from?
In many cases, the bully's home life is chaotic...perhaps from divorce, or from parents who are addicted to various substances, or from an abusive family member. In this case, the bully is so stuck in fear that s/he projects this fear onto others as a coping mechanism. "If I'm miserable, I'm going to make everyone around me miserable too, so I won't be alone anymore," goes this thought. In this instance, bullying is actually a cry for help; the bully is looking for safety and security.
In many other cases, though, the bully is carrying the fear of his/her parents and parroting their beliefs. Prejudice, Judgment, Hate, Malice...these are some of the sentiments that can be handed down from parent to child as easily as a lamp, a bag of marbles, or anything else that can be called an "heirloom." Here, the bully needs to be shown that the beliefs they've been given aren't the be-all and end-all in the world; this happens through education.
Now, I'm not saying bullies shouldn't be punished for their actions; if they break rules and/or laws, they need to face the consequences and be held accountable. However, perhaps we can show a little less Judgment and a little more Compassion in our dealings with bullies, as we already do with the victim/s of bullying.

Now for the meat in the enchilada...
These episodes of homophobic bullying dovetail with the controversy over "Don't ask, don't tell" in the military, the issue of gay marriage, and half a dozen other things I could come up with if I took a moment and skimmed the news. The point is - the old paradigm of "boy + girl" is being blown up and revised to its simplest denominator: Love Between Two Souls. The reason that this is twisting a lot of knickers around the world is very simple...it all boils down to sex.
It's time to quit pussyfooting around the issue and name the paradigm that's driven what we call "civilization" for several thousand years: If you control the sexual activity, you control the tribe. This is why humanity shifted from matrilineal inheritance (what you got depended on who your mother was) to patrilineal inheritance (what you get depends on who your father is). This is the reason that birth control and women's reproductive freedom is opposed by certain significant groups. This is why the sacred aspects of sexuality are ignored at best, and censored at worst. This is the source of so many of the "double-standards" that govern men's vs. women's behavior, appearance, and so forth.
This is also why there's homophobia in the first place...you see, "queer" sexuality is actually the mark of one who has been "touched by the gods" in many indigenous tribes. The "queer" individuals in the tribe were often the shamans of the tribe - and competition for those who were/are looking to control the masses! Any behavior that is regarded "outside the norm" is thus regarded as a threat to the dominant power structure; those in power will use every means at their disposal, including violence and the threat of violence, to stay in control.

It's time to call the bluff of the old paradigms that are dying right now. It's time to look beyond the fear-mongers and stand strong in Authenticity. It's time to meet Fear with Love - for Love cannot be stopped or destroyed. It's time to tell the power-over dominators what they can do with their illusions.
It's time to wake up and unplug...NOW.

...going on eleven ;-)

2010-10-17T16:05:00.000-07:00

Eleven years ago on this day, I self-dedicated and began to walk the path of Wicca.
I would have done it on my actual birthday, but we were in the midst of trying to sell the house we were living in at the time, and the scheduling didn't work out. So the day after my birthday became my "rebirth-day." Although I wouldn't have said so at the time, now I consider this to be the day I was reborn, the day I stopped merely sampling alternative, non-muggle thinking and chose to embrace "the road less traveled" fully and completely. Shortly after this ceremony - three months, to be exact - my Wiccan mentor would appear in my life and I would be off and running!

I often wonder, had I known beforehand that everything in my life would be turned upside down, vigorously shaken, and run through the spin cycle before I would be set back upon my feet again...would I have made the same choice? I would like to think so, but I'm not entirely sure, truth be told! Do I regret anything about this journey? Absolutely NOT - not even the very intensely uncomfortable and highly charged moments! Am I the same person I was when I started? That one is a bit more challenging to answer...

I have changed in so many ways in the last eleven years. Very little surprises me these days. I am much more accepting of life As It Is, and as it is presented to me. I have looked every Shadow-aspect of myself in the eye; those that did not change their form have been evicted from my being. And the pace of Change has accelerated - just what has shifted in the last year or so alone makes my head spin!
Yet the woman who can watch a hammerhead shark for hours on end is still here. The woman who loves cats above almost all other animals is still here. The woman who enjoys chocolate is still here. The woman who smiles at rainbows, resolves to walk more often by the sea, and gets annoyed with sleepwalking idiots every now and again...she's still here. I am that woman; perhaps I've just gotten rid of everything that I am NOT so that I have more room to hold everything that I AM.
Part of this "ridding" process has been physical. I recently found a working scale and weighed myself; the numbers confirmed the dramatic releasing that my clothes have been showing me all along. In a bit less than two years, I have shed 43 pounds, give or take. I actually cried when I saw the weight I am now at...for I hadn't been in this neighborhood of weight since middle school, when I descended into the Deepest Pit of Hell that can be manifested on this earth. In a sense, the numbers showed me that I had come all the way back from that place - that ALL the suffering before my (initial) Awakening, and ALL of the Work that I'd done after my (initial) Awakening, had been SO worth it. The journey has not been in vain, after all.

Now, on this natal weekend, I find myself walking between the worlds, in a sense. Karen Bishop, and several other folks who are dialed into the various Star-Nations, have advised that there is a "new" reality arising from the "old" reality, and that this "new" reality is very vast and very empty, for it is waiting for others to arrive and for consensual co-creation to begin. They further advise that there is a distinct difference between the two states of existence, and what worked in the "old" reality won't necessarily work in the "new" reality.
As of the Fall Equinox, I have realized that I am inhabiting this "new" reality. I've had a few experiences recently where I've visited the "old" reality, shall we say, and I can feel the difference in my bones! This "new" reality truly does feel vast and relatively empty...and I am looking forward to see what all manifests!
I just have to practice being patient, and perhaps get a wee bit of assistance in finding my ambition, especially as the weather cools in these Pre-Winter weeks. ;-)

thirty-nine "authenticities"

2010-10-16T10:55:00.001-07:00

In no particular order, here are thirty-nine things that make me feel totally Authentic - one for each year I have been walking upon Mother Earth's bosom in this go-round...

~Dark chocolate anything ;-)

~Losing myself in Creation, particularly collaging or writing

"Self-portrait." Revised 2001

~The scent of roses in full bloom

~Hammerhead sharks

~A cat sleeping upon my belly. These days, the cat looks like this:

Princess Joey. 15 and still spry! :-)

~The scent of vanilla

~Rainbows streaking across the sky

The original "eye candy." (Northern CA, 1/09)

~Adventures near and far, big and small

~Walking in Nature

Deer Springs Trail @ Questhaven (2/10)

~Everything Japanese

Someday the English translation won't be necessary! (Vista, 7/10)

~Eating food that enlightens me from the inside out :-)

~Long baths by candlelight

~Staying in touch with distant friends through the magic of the Internet :-)

~Gathering together with my Family of Choice

~Appreciating art created by othersSculpture by Niki de San Phalle. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

~Being the High Priestess in ServiceThe Brun'gavoda.

~Communing/Working with the Stone People

A "Mystery Stone" that insisted I take it home. (8/10)

~Photographing the Beauty all around me, as if seeing it for the first time

"Independent Spirit" (Encinitas, 5/10)

~Blowing bubbles, indoors or out

~Having inordinate amounts of fun with bubble wrap

~Letting my "Inside Child" out to play :-)"You WEEL respect my authori-tay!"

(Northern CA, 10/10. This photo by Teddybear-N)

~Laughing hysterically in rounds of "Mad Libs"

~Watching sunsets

Bidding the "old year" adieu. (Carlsbad, 8/10)

~Howling at the Moon

One just past full. (Escondido, 9/09)

~The scent of lavender

~Blackberry Sorbet, my new fave.

~Trader Joe's: they make being a "conscious foodie" so much FUN! (no, they're not paying me to give a shout out for them. I'm doing this because I think they're the Bomb Diggety!)

~Having fun with words in the English (and other) languages

~Reading books that inspire me. This author has written some gems.

~Cooking dinners for myself

~Sipping fine tea

~Experimenting with new taste combos. (The latest: brown rice pasta w/kale salad and a touch of balsamic dressing. YUM!) :-q

~Moving my body through yoga, whether just a tiny snippet or a full routine

~Visiting the ocean

The Ultimate Relaxation Destination (Encinitas, 9/09)

~Making "number-one good juju bundles," for various purposes

"Yemaya's bundle" for the Oil fiasco in the Gulf. (Encinitas, 7/10)

~Warm sunny days

~Wearing all-cotton clothes. If the cotton is organic, that's a bonus :-)

~Being open to receiving Nature's gifts for meFeathers, shells, a stone...freely given, gratefully accepted (Encinitas, 9/09)

~Cherishing the deep friendships present in my life, especially this one (aka, "saving the best for last.") ;-)

So many things to encourage my light to shine - and the whole becomes FAR greater than the sum of its parts. I carry the Infinite Divine within me, this day and all my days...

From the Wetware: Planting & the Descent

2010-10-08T21:26:00.001-07:00

Is it just me or is anyone else suddenly feeling that the mojo of the Universe has been kicked up a notch? Not just me? Cool.

The new moon yesterday seems to have opened the door for a very power*full pulse of energy to sweep through this World of Form and shake up quite a few things! This arrives just after I had a most excellent retreat experience with my Home Tribe! It's totally interesting, feeling the actual pulses as they come and go...every cell in my body suddenly begins to tingle at once! All I can do at this point is surrender - and sleep. And sleep. And sleep some more. Winter isn't even here yet and I feel like I've begun to hibernate!

I've been advised by my Spiritual Posse that this shift will reach its culmination on Sunday, when the 10/10/10 gate opens up. This gate is something of an interim point: we are completing the anchoring of the energies that begun with 9/9/09 last year, and starting to receive the energies in earnest leading up to 11/11/11, the start of what I've been told will be the "Diamond Year" and also (unless my posse is very misinformed) the beginning of our trip over the Galactic Core. In other words - this party is only getting started; y'all ain't seen nothing yet! ;-)

At this point, the numerologists will speak up..."Darling, the Triple-10 gate actually opened in 2008; why are people making such a big deal out of it now?" Let me explain: Yes, the date two years ago added up "perfectly" to 10/10/10. The frequencies associated with that gate began to manifest in the World of Form, aka this material plane we're frolicking in/upon. These frequencies complete their manifestation with the "mundane" 10/10/10, which occurs in two days. Their full effect will then be felt in the World of Form. Got it? If so, good. If not, sit with it for a bit, and if it still doesn't make any sense, holler back.

The time between the Triple-10 gate and the full moon is a time of preparation for a pair of events. Come the full moon, we finally get the opportunity to take this Vision we've been cultivating - personal and collective - and plant it. At the full moon, we are all being invited to take the Vision and ground it into the World of Form, digging deep into the soil of Mother Earth and dropping in the seeds. What this looks like for you may differ from what this looks like for me, but it's all good. The point is: Anchor the Energy at the Full Moon, either by yourself or with your group. (The full moon this month will be around the 23rd; any time between 10/22 and 10/24 will be good for ceremony. If you don't have a clue as to how to do this, I'll bet there will be something in your immediate surroundings that will invite you to participate.)

This Planting of the Vision is going to be very important, because there is going to be a third cosmic event this year, beginning right around Samhain/Halloween and going just past Christmas. When I read about this at the start of the year, one word passed through my mind: Descent.
Think of the stories of Persephone and Inanna. These are two Goddesses who undertook journeys to the Underworld; their absence from the surface world is the original explanation for the season of Winter (in the Northern Hemisphere, at least). Both Goddesses descended to the Underworld. Both obtained great Wisdom during their sojourns on "the Other Side." Both returned to the World Above to share this Wisdom and bring forth renewal of Life and Light.

What that means for us: It looks (to me) like humanity is in for a Collective Descent. Shadows are going to be brought forth into awareness en masse, to be identified as illusion and purged from the Collective Consciousness. Things are going to appear to get worse before they get better; keep this in the back of your mind and realize that much of the Grand Illusion is going to appear before your eyes. Remember that the "doom and gloom" reports are only a part of this Illusion and that they will dissolve in the light of day, by the Winter Solstice at the very latest!
In fact, the time between the Winter Solstice and Christmas will bring in a major influx of Light Energies that will serve to dispel any and all lingering "Shadow-Muck" that doesn't dissolve during this final cosmic surge.
Come the new year, whether you start it from Yule or on January 1, you'll begin to see the first shoots of the Vision begin to break through the surface, in fact. :-)

The Second Harvest - PHWAR!

2010-09-25T12:15:00.000-07:00

Full Moon + Equinox = Liftoff! (Carlsbad, 8/10)

So I really was intending to blog a few days ago to discuss the Second Harvest, which falls at the Fall Equinox, aka Mabon, in the Northern Hemisphere. I was going to talk about giving thanks for all of the abundance in your life and holding that vibration of gratitude as we move forward.
However.
The Universe had other ideas.

As the moon waxed to full at just about the same time we hit the midpoint of Autumn, I got a huge download of energy in my life. Physically, it felt like I drank a six-pack of Red Bull; I was humming on all cylinders and feeling uber-enthusiastic about Life, the Universe, and Everything again, even with a rare bout of insomnia thrown in for variety! This was especially refreshing after the major heavy lifting I'd been doing in my soul and in the Astral planes, clearing out some very deeply held "muggle-muck" from my system, and from the Collective as well, if my suspicions are correct.
In my environs, I transformed into the Decluttering Diva, tackling first my bathroom, then the kitchen! I have yet to go underneath the kitchen sink (can we say "hazardous waste dump," boys and girls?!) but those areas that have been decluttered and reorganized look and feel much better - the chi is beginning to flow nicely! :-)
As for the wider world at large, I suddenly found myself with not one but TWO job interviews on the same day! (Yes, I am still doing something of a job search, mainly to keep mother from yelling at me. Do me a favor and don't tell her, 'mkay?) I made both of those interviews and will see what, if anything, comes of them. On the metaphysical front, I'm way more excited about giving out my first two intuitive readings over Skype this past week! They will be the first of many as I raise my profile in the world, I'm sure!

Looking back, it's been six months since I left the muggle-job world for the second time. It occurred to me as I was summing up the time that had passed between harvests that this time has been, overall, low-key. Sure, there's been movement and excitement and lovely things happening in my life between the Equinoxes, but it feels like I was detached in certain ways.
I was stepping out of the "reality" that is commonly agreed upon and into the wider space of What Truly Is. In doing so, there were certain long-held Shadows that had to be realized, assimilated, and transcended...for they would no longer fit within me in this new space that I was/am coming to inhabit more and more fully. (I just read back what I've typed and the only thing I can say is, "Whoa!" Instant channeling - COOL!)

So, yeah - this is the second of the three Harvests. This is usually the most jovial of the Harvest celebrations, because we are basking in the Bounty of the Great Mother that we are taking in, and awestruck at just at How Much we truly have! Give Thanks for your personal bounty (and yes, there are positive things that are bounty*full in your life!) and hold that vibe of Gratitude first and foremost in your awareness for the next little while. Eventually you might surprise yourself by being able to hold it every day. You never know...

And if we're indeed all interconnected on very deep levels, then I will simply advise against putting too much stock in the plans you make - for your day/week, for your future, for your life overall. I say this because: since the new moon earlier this month, most, if not all, of the plans I've made in my life have been tossed out the window, over and over again, in favor of experiencing what is unfolding within & before me "in this very moment."
Fortunately I have very cool friends who understand the concepts of flexibility and fluidity - and if they don't, they're keeping their own counsel. ;-)
Ergo, if I'm getting a "parameter revision" to be less structured and more free-form in my life, odds are there's at least one other person also receiving this "revision." If said person is reading these words...hello, friend. No worries; we're all swirling in the soup together, as a very wise woman once said.

three "p-words"

2010-09-17T23:09:00.001-07:00

No, these are not going to be words that would get your mouth washed out with soap if your mom or dad heard you say them.
I'll introduce you to two of these three words right now: Procrastination and Perfection.

I have joked off and on about being a "recovering perfectionist," but it appears it's been no joke. These two things have been holding me back - a realization that's come fully into my awareness with this lunation, when I was all ready for Go-Time to help me take off...and I find myself still sputtering along, by and large.

To paraphrase the wise and wonderful SARK, who has such excellent descriptions of these two Shadows: Procrastination says "Not Now" and Perfection says "Not Yet." Procrastination has been following Perfection's lead like a good little Shadow, very eager and supportive.
Perfection has been whispering in my ear, You need to wait until you've left home. You need to wait until this event (or that event) has unfolded. You need to wait until all of your Shadow-stuff has been Resolved. You need to wait until all of your talents have been fully realized.
Darling Shadow, if I keep waiting for the "perfect whatever," I will be perfectly DEAD, and kicking myself in the Afterlife for Not Acting when I had the perfect opportunity - while I still drew breath into my denser flesh-body!

When I brought this up, I was shown their motivation, which is the third "p-word" that is relevant to this moment: Protection. This is something I'm very familiar with, having done some rather interesting things (in various lifetimes besides this one!) out of a heightened need for what could be called "Self-Preservation."
This pair of Shadows simply wants to protect me from all things that might be considered "bad," such as failure, humiliation, lawsuits, and (gods forfend!) assaults upon my person. Um, darlings, I'm not stupid, for one...and I run Dragon energy, for another. I think I know a thing or two about defending myself from various forms of assault!
I do, however, appreciate their concern. This also proves one of Debbie Ford's excellent points: Shadows are often protective mechanisms that have run amok, and need to be revised (at least) or dismantled (at most). I think I'm somewhere in the middle with these two.

They mean well - but at some point, I need to "risk" failure if I'm to gain success. Time for this snake to shed her skin, and release these Shadows... :-)

From the Wetware: Optimizing GO-Time!

2010-09-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

Window into the future as it begins to manifest into the present. (Northern CA, 1/09)

Talking with soul-siblings over the past few days, we're all in agreement that something BIG is on the horizon; various articles I've read, along with a few news items that have blipped on my personal radar screen, confirm this feeling.
Guess what?
Go-Time starts TODAY!

From the new moon (9/8) to the full moon (9/23 or so), there is a huge energetic pulse enfolding us. This is what normally happens every year on the way to the Equinox, which in some parts of the world will be occurring on the exact same day as the full moon! Oh yeah...Shift is Happening!
The advice I'm receiving about this fortnight of activity - Be Mindful of what you're asking for, and Be Specific as well!

You've heard the expressions, "Be careful what you wish for, because you're going to get it," and "Energy flows where Attention goes," yes? These are going to be your guideposts. Examine your thoughts, your wishes, your desires with a microscope to make sure you're in total alignment with your Full Authentic Power! This is a time where the gap between Intention and Manifestation is going to be very small, if extant at all! :-o
Now, remember when I said Mercury Retrograde was a good time to revise your Master Plan? This is the time to roll it out. As you do, be specific. Be active. Be current. Be positive. Dream not just big, but uber-gigantic!
If you like to use metaphors: get out your favorite color of balloon tonight. Blow into it a little bit every day for the next two weeks. At the full moon/Equinox, let the balloon go into the Universe, totally confident that your dreams are manifesting even now, as you read this! HUZZAH! :-)

In case you're curious, I'll be fine-tuning my energies during this time, cultivating the lotus of Feminine Energy as she continues to bloom within me and erasing a few remaining vestiges of resistance that I've found within me, still clinging stubbornly like barnacles on a rock within my physical being...
What shall we co-create today, hmmm? :-D

me too...

2010-09-05T20:02:00.001-07:00

"Reversing the Tide." (Encinitas, 7/10)
The flower above is a metaphor. Normally, they bloom very black; however, I can "choose" what color the flower within me is going to bloom...

I'm not just dipping my hand into the energetic pools that underpin the Universe and telling y'all how the water tastes. I drink these handfuls and do the Work alongside everyone as well.

This Mercury Retrograde tapped me on the shoulder and brought something to my attention: there has been one Shadow following me around on tiptoe since 2002. I've called it different things over the years...my Kundalini Hunger. Sacred Fire. Receiving Love Generously. Awaiting my Beloved. After all, I was born a Woman, and I have the same dreams and desires (and doubts) that every other woman possesses, whether or not we choose to admit that we're carrying them!
It's not just about entering Right Relationship, though. It's also about recognizing and honoring my softer, more gentle feminine side. More, still - I need to give her the space she's been craving to breathe and move and dance, to express herself openly, boldly, and In Public! :-o
She has come up with every other Shadow I've worked with in my curious, intense, and miraculous process of Spiritual Alchemy, but until this waning moon, I've never fully resolved her.
"We shall lift each other up." (Balboa Park, 7/09)

It's taken finding my home tribe, and allowing myself to be supported by their Unconditional Acceptance. It's taken shifting my shape, dropping a crazy-good amount of weight and letting go of stuff like sugar and gluten and dairy once and for all. It's taken the full real-I-zation of my Authentic Power in the safe space that is co-created through true heart-centered community.

When I went into the Moon Lodge this past week(ish) and began to bleed, I dove in. I dove deep.
In the heart of Darkness, I raised this Shadow into the light of my full Awareness. I saw where I was stuck and I allowed her to Speak True...and there was an adjustment. I felt it in my body, the release of sticking tensions, a realignment and relaxation of lower-chakra energies.
Tossing the labels of "masculine" and "feminine" out the window, I simply asked for Authenticity - and I got it.
I. Got. It.
The gentle lotus of yin has bloomed within me, and the fragrance is exquisitely sweet!
Welcome Home. (Encinitas, 7/10)

The rest, as the moon wanes and renews, is weaving this energy in with all my other threads, and finding a new balance point.
The rest, as Mercury returns to a direct journey through the stars, is to find new ways of expressing this femininity outwardly. Let me see...bright colors slightly outside my usual palette, swirling skirts, and a pink cowgirl hat that "clashes" with everything else I own. These sound like good starting points.
Or maybe I'll pair that brown tank top that frills down at the edges with my new brown leggings and don a pair of pixie-wings... ;-)

From the Wetware: dotting i's and crossing t's

2010-08-18T23:34:00.001-07:00

Collage-art I created for "Ganesh, Remover of Obstacles." Circa 2006...?

Hola, faithful readers - time for another channel "from the wetware." (hm, maybe I should make a blog about this, especially if this becomes a regular thing. Sitting with this possibility...)

Are we having fun yet? ;-)
Yes, I'm asking that question with tongue firmly in cheek.
Depending on where you are in your (spiritual) journey, you're feeling stuff moving in, moving out, moving up, moving down, or moving all over the bloody map so much, you have no idea which way is forward!
Well, I can say this for sure: all is unfolding according to the plan you (yes, YOU!) mapped out before incarnating in this place and time you find yourself in. So no worries on that front.

Still not convinced? I don't blame you. There have been times along the way when I've been in prayer and muttered to myself, "You're kidding, Great Mother - right?" Then I've heard Her laugh, which had led me to mutter dark imprecations under my breath...but I digress.

I can, however, reveal this: everything that's moving will probably slow way down, if not stop completely, starting the day after tomorrow, for a few weeks. The reason can be summed up in two words: Mercury Retrograde.
For those totally new to the astrological viewpoint - no, this isn't the 2011 model coming out. (If I remember correctly, the decision has been made to stop making Mercury-brand cars altogether. Oops, digressing again!) What this means...3-4 times every year, the "teeny" planet Mercury (teeny in comparison to the other planets, that is!) looks like it's going backwards in the sky for about three weeks, give or take. Then it begins to move "forward" (aka direct) again.

In metaphysics, this translates into communications tending to go haywire, as Mercury was the Roman God of Messages and Communication. Now, while there has been much hoo-ha (my very scientific term - lol) thrown around about the Mercury Retrograde periods, this is, in truth, a lovely opportunity for a cosmic check-in with/in your*self.
Take a little downtime and take inventory of everything in your life: is everything going smoothly? Is it all a honking big mess? What can be done at this time to set things aright - knowing that implementing any course changes will abide until Mercury is going direct among the stars.

Next: from following other peeps' metaphysical e-letters & postings, I've seen over and over again that the "theme" for this year has been Holding the Vision. This can be a small vision, like purchasing that new car - or it can be a big vision, like Harmonious World Community...or somewhere in between.
The point is, we the Lightworkers especially have been holding the vision for the rise of a new consciousness to blossom in the "dark & remote corners" of the Collective. The time is drawing very near for that Vision to be unleashed upon the world - but not just yet. (insert group groan here) ;-)

This particular Mercury Retrograde episode, we're all being encouraged, Lightworker or not, to get out that Grand Vision we have and go over it One More Time, with a fine-toothed comb. Has every "t" been crossed, every "i" dotted? Do you need to make a re-vision to the Vision? If so, this is time for it.
See, we are nearing the end of the time of "sacrifice," where you've given up what you've been holding onto, and the beginning of the Second/Main Harvest, wherein you reap what you've sown, and receive the Full Bounty of the Mother! :-) And yes, there will be a descent, with a great Planting of the Vision - but first things first.

Make entirely sure and certain that your intentions are clear and concise right now. Mark those places where Ganesh can remove those pesky obstacles for you...because come mid-September, we're moving forward again at Full Throttle!
Are those seat belts securely fastened, pulled tight, and riding low on your hips? (Can you tell I've flown much?) ;-)

Moving into "the Zone"

2010-08-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

This pic of me So Totally Rocks! (Mebane, NC 7/10. Photo by DragonHeart, my dragon sister.)

Something I neglected to mention when I was gushing about my latest adventure out to North Carolina...I found myself in what is popularly called "the Zone."
Basically, I was the Priestess. I was the Healer. I was the shamanka walking effortlessly Between the Worlds. For the first time, I realized the full extent of what it means to be standing in my Authentic Power - and let me say, it felt SO damn good! :-D
I felt Light. Open. Expanded and Expansive. Everything flowed effortlessly.
Not all the opportunities I beheld to Work my magick came to pass, but I've bookmarked several possibilities for the next time my home tribe gathers...and that's okay.

As always, the challenge has been taking what arose during the retreat and integrating it into my life As It Is Now. It's been interesting what's come up since.

"Shadows in Bloom." Encinitas, 7/10

If you've been following along, I mentioned last time that we were entering a "sorting phase" in life. I, too, experienced some sorting of my own as the moon disappeared from view.
Just because I've reached a certain point in my spiritual journey doesn't mean I'm done doing the Work. HA! Au contraire - I'm slogging along in the trenches right beside everyone else!
This time around, I came face to face with my "stuck" feelings...not wanting to move forward on my own, instead wanting someone to come help me out. Do the "dirty work" for me so I can fly free and clear, I was asking.
There is, however, only one person who will do my "dirty work." ME.
Interestingly enough, in examining these feelings, I found the root of this "stuck-ness," and did the necessary re-writing of my Story to unstick myself. (A shout out to one of my newest friends, the shining Miss A., for pointing me in the right direction!)

Now, the new moon is upon us, along with another pulse of energy bathing the Earth. (Get used to these pulses; they're going to be coming regularly and awesomely for the near future!) Now I feel myself moving back into "the Zone" where I was in North Carolina...and brand new options are presenting themselves for my purview, one of which may lead to slaying the Debt Monster for good - and giving me what I desire most: free space to (re) invent myself, yet again.

The greater test of faith is unfolding for me in California, as I consider the full extent of what it means to be In Service to Queen Califia...

Opportunity Knocking! (wetware download)

2010-07-29T13:20:00.001-07:00

Some ironing may be necessary once you've gone through your karmic wardrobe. (Asheville, NC 7/10)

The influences of Earth and Sky are coming together in these magnificent two weeks to produce some radical (and I daresay delicious!) opportunities for transformation and Lasting Change!

From Grandfather Sky: we're in the last phases of the Cosmic Tsunami. As I advised a while back, this is the time of sorting...what is staying in your life? What is needing to be released? The full moon last weekend provided a major energetic boost to ensure this process would be moving forward. (This would explain why I wanted to sleep a LOT before/during/after the full moon; I had very important Work to do in the Dreamtime!) If you were experiencing insomnia at night during the full moon, or general restlessness around that time - here's your explanation.
Remember: the waning moon cycle (as she disappears in the night sky) is the time of releasing and letting go, which is going to be very important for the upcoming Harvest of Lammas!

From Grandmother Earth: Lammas (the "loaf mass") is the first of the three Harvest celebrations observed by many pagan traditions. The emphasis is on wheat and whole grains, as these were the first of the crop-foods that were ready to be gathered up and prepared for mass consumption in the form of bread. Lammas also has a tradition of "sacrifice" associated with it; the wheat plants must "die" for the village to eat.
For our purposes today, we can consider this question: What are you willing to let go of in your life right now in order to receive the Divine Bounty? What is ready to be released, its time of service in your life now complete?

As we navigate through the energies that are swirling about us - and trust me, they ARE swirling about, in spades! - the keywords for this portion of the journey are Surrender and Acceptance.
Surrender is not a bad word. If you're balking at seeing this word, believe me, I can relate. I used to believe it was a bad word, before I did the needed Shadow-Work to clear the negative associations around it. Let me put you at ease: to surrender simply means to recognize that your life is a Co-Creation, between you and Divinity. It means you don't have to do all the work by yourself; you have a very willing and help*full partner assisting and (when you're open for it) guiding you through the Grand Illusions and the Great Mysteries present in life. It's a lovely thing when you realize - I'm not alone in this. I have help when I need it.
Acceptance means that you place yourself firmly in your life as it is. No more whining about what happened in the past; no more wishing for something different in the future. You don't have to be madly in love with where you are, what you have, who you're with, in this moment. You simply say, Okay. Here I am. Right Now...and you really pay Attention to your surroundings, to your life! Amazing things can then rise into your awareness - and you just might see a doorway to that happy place that you've been looking for all along!

So.
Cultivate your surrendering to, and acceptance of, the present moment. Go through your karmic wardrobe and clean out everything in your life that is no longer serving you. Make room for the Bounty to come...because the energies of the new moon are going to dovetail nicely with the energies of the 8/8 Lion's Gate opening this year! This means another huge energy boost coming our way; this time, with the promise of Marvelous & Miraculous Manifestation - for those who are ready to receive!
If you say, "but I'm not ready," my first question would be, are you sure about that? You might be more and better prepared than you realize! If you truly aren't "ready," no worries. The influx of energies will help you along quite nicely with your works in progress. You'll BE ready soon enough, for there are oodles more energetic pulses (both clearing and manifesting) on their way. Trust me on this one! ;-)

If you feel at all spacey or disconnected during this process: get out into Nature posthaste! She will help you ground, center, and reconnect with the true energetic grid, and not the smoke and mirrors of the Grand Illusion. Even a simple plant will help you return to your center. Viz...

Beautiful Blooms @ Amalya's. 7/10

There. I bet you're feeling better already... :-)

Butterfly Nation

2010-07-26T13:34:00.000-07:00

Very real. Very gorgeous. Mebane, NC 7/10

I was dancing in North Carolina roughly a week ago, gathering anew with my home tribe.
It was my third visit to this fine lush green state, but my first as checking it out to see if it would be my home state. Yes, this is the place where I have been considering relocating. Before you scratch your head and ask, "Why on earth would YOU, of all people, go THERE?" I would invite you to Google "Asheville, NC" and see what comes up. You'll be pleasantly surprised, if you're not in the know already
Before you do, a wee sampling:

Actual water running through an actual riverbed! (Near Chimney Rock)

Peace pole at the Light Center. (Near Asheville)

View from inside "Malaprops Bookstore," which gets beaucoup points for the name alone! (Asheville)

City art in downtown Asheville.

I did have another pair of ulterior motives for visiting early: one, it was cheaper to fly in on a Thursday than a Friday. Two, I wanted to plant a crystal grid around the property of my friend D., who had just recently moved onto said property with the intention of turning it into a communal home and nexus-point for peeps to gather in the name of Sanctuary. That it is, in spades.
I know that it will be a good place for me to rest, renew, and recharge - and I can see myself living there.
Someday.
But not today. I have Work to do here, in Cali. :-)

Driving to the retreat was an experience and a half for this Cali-girl. About halfway there, I got the opportunity to drive through rain. And I mean RAIN, as in the heavens opened up All The Way and these giganto drops were being thrown at my windshield in insane quantities and I could barely see the road at times with all the spray being kicked up and everyone else was driving with their hazard lights On & Blinking so when in Rome, ya know...
Yeah. THAT kind of rain - the kind we almost never see in SoCal!
However, if I do say so myself, I am pleased to report I drove like a native; or at least, someone from Seattle instead of San Diego. ;-)

This time, my home tribe came together to Glow for four days instead of three. Loved the extra day; I didn't feel as rushed this time as I had in the past. I reveled in the opportunity to commune more deeply, and absorb more of the lovely gestalt energies...

Bounty of the gathering. Mebane, 7/10

Lammas is just around the corner!

The Faerie Grove. More than fireflies hang out here... ;-)

Gratuitous chicken shot. Yes, they have an actual free-range chicken colony there!

The Blessed Mother, with offerings at Her feet.

...and I'll admit, this time, I got rather verklempt on the drive to my friend T's home about an hour away. This time, I didn't want it to end. The Bard was right; parting IS such sweet sorrow.

The unofficial theme for our retreat was "Awakening to Spiritual Freedom." It was more than that for some of us; it was also awakening to our Spiritual Destiny.

Butterfly Maiden~
Symbol of transformation
As She spreads Her wings...

We are the Butterfly Nation. Viva La Revolucion! :-D

Still~Point

2010-07-11T16:42:00.001-07:00

Let's call this, "Cosmic Tsunami washes away the Shadow Mass." Balboa Park, 7/09

Today is apparently a day of rest for me, for the plans that had spontaneously manifested over the past few days just as spontaneously melted away a few hours ago. I find myself in a still-point, a cosmic pause between momentous activities and shiftings of shape...so I say HO! and relax. Today has been a "geek day" for me, as I've been frolicking in cyberspace. ;-)

So, to sum, I have been doing Deep Work these last two (and a little bit) weeks. Viz:
Take one juju bundle of shells, stones, and sea glass...

Add one mermaid (for Yemaya, the Ocean Goddess, who appears as a mermaid now and again)

...and voila! Healing Ocean Juju, primarily for the Gulf of Mexico, and also other spots in the sea that need some Divine Intervention!
While I'm thinking about it, I invite you to go here to see the inspiration behind the creation of this juju bundle. :-)

As Within, so Without - simultaneously, I've been Working very intensely on myself (what else is new? lol!), clearing out some lingering Shadows. The difference this time? I am doing the Work from the stance of being a Whole Soul, instead of a "fragmented" one.
I put fragmented in quotes because I never truly was fragmented, but that was a part of the Illusion I had to work through. I'll spare y'all the details right now, because I have a suspicion said details will wind up in the book I'm writing. ;-)

It hasn't been all Work for this Priestess, though.
I've also been engaging in some Deep Play:
I went hither and yon in Balboa Park recently as part of a Scavenger Hunt. It was organized by this marvelous hippie. (No, I'm not telling you where this vase is in the Park. You'll have to find it yourself.) ;-)

I never skip an opportunity to commune with the koi fish at the SRF Meditation Gardens.

This is the front of my "altered art" book, which will be making its way to Canada shortly. I'm sending it along with the similarly created Canadian book that has been sitting in my house for way too long. ;-)
See, I have this very bad habit of getting away from a great source of Play - the creation of art - when I'm deeply engaged in gazing at my navel, aka "Doing the Heavy-Duty Work." As I refine myself yet again, I'm looking to bring in some more Play...and the Universe is becoming an excellent co-conspirator in the process! :-)

The first phase of the Cosmic Tsunami is passing. The Special High Intensity Transformation is calming down. I feel the Changes that have been wrought within me as an absence; something that was present in me is not, anymore. Rather than feeling this absence as a big gaping hole with jagged edges, though, I feel it as a gentle emptiness, waiting to be filled.
It will be filled, big time, over the course of these next two weeks. Can we say it's just about time for another serving of Beyond Awesome?
Happy dance!! :-)

Bella Luna & the Cosmic Tsunami

2010-06-27T17:27:00.000-07:00

Now that we are beginning to feel the incoming pulse of massive energy, I wanted to pass along some Information that I downloaded recently in the privacy of my own wetware. Yes, it's an actual channel from Yours Truly! (lol)

~Do not discount the influence of the moon in the unfolding "Cosmic Tsunami," the significant pulse of energy that is scheduled to wash over and through Mother Gaia from now through the first week of August. She will be felt in three distinct phases:

Phase 1 (full to dark moon) is going to be analogous to scraping the barrel completely clean. ANY Shadow-energy or "stuck" place that is still present in one's system will be permanently removed. Whether you release it in Serenity or have it pried out of your grip as you're kicking and screaming - well, that's your choice. Be prepared for some massive first and/or third chakra upheavals for these two weeks, but only for two weeks! :-)

(Chakra 101: The first chakra is the energy node at the base of your spine; the third is the one at your solar plexus - the one that I'm clearing out, as I've mentioned previously.)

Phase 2 (new to full moon) is going to be analogous to filling the newly cleaned barrel completely up to the top with water. Do not be surprised if all of your chakras open very widely, particularly the fourth, sixth, and seventh ones. Authenticity and True Power are going to be the themes, as the next steps (yes, plural!) of your journey are going to be revealed! ALL shall not be revealed just yet, but many questions shall finally have answers. Huzzah!
(Chakra 101: The fourth chakra is the energy node at your heart, the sixth is the node at your third eye - between your fleshy eyeballs - and the seventh chakra is the node at the crown of your head.)

Phase 3 (full to dark moon) is going to be analogous to sweeping the water in the barrel with a fine net to fish out any detrius. Okay, so you're crystal clear and you've got tons of new support to travel in the direction you've chosen - which may very well be the one you've been moving in all along. ;-) Now is the time for a check-in: am I completely aligned with this journey? What really resonates within me right now? What needs to be released right now?

This phase also aligns perfectly with Lammas, the first of autumn's Harvest Festivals, which traditionally requires one to "sacrifice" that which is no longer of service within you in order to receive the fullness of Nature's Bounty.

~VSD 6/10

Holler back with any questions, yo. :-)

Shedding the Sleepwalker's Skin

2010-06-26T15:51:00.000-07:00

Call this "Third Chakra, Pre-Clearing." (Balboa Park, 7/09)

Whether I'm cutting out images from catalogs or snapping pics with my camera, every now and again I come across something that moves me, and I need to capture it. I might not know why at that moment, but it becomes the perfect image to use in the fullness of time.
The image above would be a good example. It spoke to me about a year ago, but it's only now that I understand the message...

The closer we've come to the "Cardinal Cross" alignment in the sky (an alignment formed by Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Pluto this weekend, lasting until the first week of August), the more antsy I've been. These last two weeks in particular have felt like a collective holding of breath, waiting for the massive surge of energy that is predicted to course through & by our planet, and all who inhabit her, as a result. Or as I tweeted recently: The whole Universe feels Void of Course and I feel like I'm experiencing a bout of Cosmic PMS! ;-)

Several of my friends say I wasn't too far off...
By degrees I've been brought low as of late, feeling various levels of doubt, frustration, anxiety, even incompetence and powerlessness. My first clue was in recognizing the last time I'd felt such "blah" energies was before I had embarked on my Journey of Spirit; in other words, when I still thought myself a muggle, to use JK Rowling's lovely terminology. :-) My second clue was in recognizing when my Indigo Diva was having a tantrum, insisting that life should be unfolding on HER terms, and feeling very rigid.
I realized: I am clearing out my third chakra, the energy node found at the solar plexus, connected with thoughts of individuality. This is where I hold all beliefs about My*Self; these are the Shadows that are being brought up for me to recognize and release.
A multi-step ritual spontaneously arose within me - I'm unfolding it one night at a time as we speak, with the next steps beginning to come together as I conclude this part of it.

In this time of surging energy and Waking Up, I find myself shedding the last vestiges of who I was...a Sleepwalker in the Nightmare of the Shadow-Matrix. Many others will be releasing these dregs as well; others will be at the beginning of the process, realizing that all the blood and thunder playing out around them is one Grand Illusion, and that Something Far Greater lies just beneath the surface. Many people are experiencing this awakening as a very rude one - this is a "necessary evil," if you will, for many people have been caught in the grips of the Nightmare and sleepwalking their way through life for a very long time.

The alarm clock is going off.
It's time to Wake Up - NOW!

tiny adventures, on a tuesday :-)

2010-06-15T16:41:00.000-07:00

Seeking out treasure in the Golden State. @ Home, 6/10

No worries, I haven't forgotten my promise to show off my TAT's as I get 'em. ;-)
It's been a most interesting roller coaster as energies pulse and ebb within and around me...and under me as well. Felt an earthquake last night that broke some dynamic tension within me as well as within Grandmother Earth! More on that later...

To the first Adventure, which was a Civic one:
English, Spanish, Filipino, and Vietnamese, I think. @ Home, 6/10

Yea, I exercised my rights as an American Citizen and executed my civic duty by voting last Tuesday. They moved my polling place to the same block where I live, just across the street - which made it ridiculously easy to go and vote and made it completely absurd to transport myself there by car. So I was happy to hoof it. :-)
One question, though, am I the only one to scratch my head and ask, "What's wrong with this picture?" Viz...
What happened to "Separation of Church & State"? @ Home, 6/10
And yes, I think the "Happy Hour" advertisement is a bit amusing as well... ;-)

As you can tell, I took my camera along to record the journey. Didn't take any pix in the voting venue itself - that might have been rather gauche - but here's some eye candy for y'all:
Glorious Purple Bouganvillea. @ Home, 6/10

This particular Tuesday, I found myself drawn to explore a lovely site closer to home: Kit Carson Park, at the southern end of Escondido.
I love the symbolism of this open gate. Kit Carson Park, 6/10

Today was an exploratory mission, looking around and seeing what I could find, and what had changed.
What has changed: they've added a "golf frisbee" course in the park, for peeps to walk around and have some fun.
What I found: Power spots galore...
Massively cool meditation spot besides a network of groves. Kit Carson Park, 6/10

...and some trails "into the bush" that I didn't take this time. Next time, though, I'm going on a mini-walkabout. ;-)

I was also very relieved to find that a pair of ponds which had been drained in a recent missing person's case had been refilled, and were still extant. Again, I saved visiting & meditating at the ponds for later.
With the upcoming energy surge that's expected to bring radical & dynamic transformation throughout the world, I suspect there will be a lot of "laters" for me to choose from!
I feel much more grounded and centered already... :-)

Tiny Adventure Tuesday: Stone Nirvana!

2010-06-01T20:57:00.000-07:00

As promised, today I connected with one of my fave co-conspirators & lovely Soul Sisters to visit the Natural History museum. Our mission: to visit the new gemstone exhibit there...Splendor? You Bet Your Bippy! (Balboa Park, 6/10)

I had heard that there might be a separate admission fee to see the exhibit, despite the fact that this was the NH museum's Free Tuesday. Happily, I was wrong, though the bit of money I took with me did come in handy.
The stones are installed in the "basement" of the museum, closest to Grandmother Earth, natch, from whence they've all come.

I can best sum up the experience in three words:
Great.
Mother.
GODDESS!Beautiful Serpentine Slab. (6/10)

It was all SO delicious; I'll try to give you only a few highlights...
~A cache of opals in ironstone, from Australia. Very Primal Earth energy! Numerous images shown to us by the opals!
~A clear crystal quartz cluster that was the total opposite of the opals - very High Frequency Star energy! I could hear them singing!
~An iron meteor that had been sliced in half and polished. This energy was Something Totally Else!
~A picture of Selenite crystals from a cave in Mexico, so large people can STAND upon them! I got a major "hit" from just looking at the image!
~The jade. Oh Gods, the Honking Big JADE! Beautiful green, with the vibration of home. I got a bit verklempt as I tuned in and allowed its energy to flow through me. (Interestingly enough, it came from Northern California. Things to make me go hmm...)
~A massive cut and polished Smokey Quartz, which I think was 13,000 carats or something ridiculous like that. Do you know what Shadows I could exorcise with THAT bad boy! Pass the napkin, please, so I can wipe my drool off the case! (lol)
A nice chunk of Lepidolite. (6/10)

The bad news: the main exhibit prohibited flash photography; alas, I could not take any pix of the lovely things described above. :-(
The good news: there were some stones outside the main exhibit, so I was able to get some pix after all. Obviously. :-)
The best news: I asked how long the exhibit would be in the museum. The answer - "Oh don't worry, it'll be here for several years."
Did you say YEARS?!? :-D
My inner seven-year-old squealed and did a happy dance. ;-)
Raw Malachite. (6/10)

Oh, and the money I brought with me? Part of it went to grab a couple of kyanite stones, which were actually reasonably priced for my part of the world! Let's just say I paid about half as much at the museum as I would have elsewhere. They had some other stones available...which I could get for much cheaper in several metaphysical boutiques in my neck of the woods!

So, my stone-and-crystal-loving friends...should you happen to find yourself in the San Diego area at the beginning of a given month, if you have any affinity at all with the Stone People, GO to this exhibit on the first Tuesday of the month, when the Natural History museum is FREE!
I'll be happy to show you around, too... ;-)

Operation: Clean Ocean

2010-05-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up rather early, for me...7am.
I did some journaling, read my daybooks, then checked in quickly online to see if there was anything urgent waiting for me. No? Excellent.

I sat before my altar and took up my heart-stone, as the clock showed 8:10am.
I reached out to the Grid, felt a surge of energy originating from the East Coast - in the neighborhood of Southern Florida, to be exact. I received the energy surge within me, to be carried to the coast very shortly.
First, though, breakfast! Gotta fill up the ol' tank before doing the Work, especially heavy duty Work like I had planned today...

I made it into, and through, downtown Oceanside a bit before 10am; parking was plentiful at this moment, but that would change shortly.
I grabbed my bag and my chair, walked a few short blocks down to the pier. I found my spot, fairly removed from the screaming children, on the side of the pier that was quieter. I unfolded my chair and regarded the jade-green Pacific waters crashing ashore before me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a few moments...

On this day of Remembering (in the US), I chose to Remember something very vital.
I chose to remember the place from which we have ALL come: Grandmother Ocean.
The Waters of Her Living Womb. (Encinitas, 5/10)

I was inspired to create a circle of stones around my space - partly to hold and contain the energy that I would be raising, partly to protect my belongings when I made my way down to the water for my ceremony. I just had to sweep my feet a few times; the stones seemed to rise to the sandy surface of their own accord, eagerly volunteering to assist me!
So I made my circle. I sat and read, and watched the interplay of bodies around me, from the surfers waiting for the perfect wave to the gentleman swinging a metal detector along the beach, looking for buried treasure.

At length, a man announced to his female companion that it was just about 11am. Well and good; time to start building the energy.
I placed my juju bundle around my neck, took my heartstone into my hands, feeling the tingling growing stronger, and stronger, and stronger still - but not overwhelming. A gentle surge of energy starting in my hands, spreading through me from my heart center...

Then I received the signal silently within: Now.
I opened my eyes, rose to my feet, picked my way among ocean rocks down to where earth and water met. My arms fell to my sides, spread slightly apart from my body...I chanted: I am of the Ocean; the Ocean is of me. We are clean, we are clear, we flow in harmony.

With the last (eleventh) repetition of the chant, I took a few steps forward, bringing my heartstone to my belly, just below my ribs. My right hand stretched down and out, touching the water, being immersed in the water.
I breathed in energy in from the stone, the bundle, my being... and out into the sea, again and again. I knew I was finished when I felt a wave brush the cuffs of my capri's legs; I straightened up, stepped out of the crashing waves. I bowed, then spread my arms once more.

Re-centering, I made my way back to my beach chair, then sat down and drank deeply from my water bottle. I would stay awhile longer at the beach in Oceanside before collecting myself and returning home, just as the people really began to come out to soak up some rays and fire up their barbecues.
I hold the Vision of a Clean, Clear Ocean. (Encinitas, 5/10)

My prayer for the Gulf, which inspired Operation: Clean Ocean, and in its turn, this post:
May this "disaster" serve as a turning point, a moment of Great Awakening.
May this serve as a new beginning, to wean ourselves from Power-Over methods of sustenance and move into more harmonious, Power-With, sharing ways.
May we be guided in these conversions by Wind and Water, by Sun and Earth.
...And may the brilliant minds of our time create innovative new technologies to clean up the mess and bring healing where there is now global distress.
Ho.

To join the Operation: Clean Ocean movement online, go here. We've just begun to give the Ocean a Voice.
...and if you'd like to get an idea of what I was reading, go here. Very very juicy! ;-)

(no, I don't get compensation for giving props to my peeps. I give my shout-outs just because.)

Introducing: Tiny Adventure Tuesdays

2010-05-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

Something new is blossoming... :-) (Balboa Park, 5/10)

Since I have a little room - okay, a LOT of room - in my schedule these days, I have been looking for ways to bring inspiration into my life, without needing to shell out mucho moolah. I have also been wanting to explore a bit more around me, because I know there are treasures of all sorts in my immediate vicinity. After all, I live in Paradise. ;-)

It started as an inquiry as to when certain museums in Balboa Park had their free admission days, because I love art, and I consider gazing at art to be a primary personal source of inspiration. Not just artwork created by humans, either: Nature is the Supreme Artiste, and the ultimate source of inspiration for said human-created artwork. If you don't believe me, take another look at the flowers above. Aren't they Gorgeous! :-D
I thought the free days would be on Saturdays, but I was wrong. They're actually on Tuesdays. So I printed out the calendar and highlighted the museums I was interested in. Then I thought: it isn't just the museums that I can go to; there are all sorts of places to go! Besides, if I step out on Tuesdays, that would mean less traffic to worry about, since many peeps are still at work during the week, and places would be less crowded on a Tuesday then on a Saturday. Brilliant!

So: here for your enjoyment (and mine), I shall present Tiny Adventure Tuesdays, or TAT's.
Now I can show off my "tats" and not have to actually get a tattoo! (lol) I am a complete wuss when it comes to needles and pain, and I happily embrace and accept my wussiness. Maybe in another life... ;-)

The first Tiny Adventure was actually last week. I reconnected with a most excellent friend and soul-sister to check out a pair of museums: the Mingei and the Japanese Friendship Gardens. (Technically, the latter isn't a museum per se, but it has a building where they show off art, and they do charge admission on the days when it's not their free Tuesday.)
I have taken a gazillion pictures in the JFG, so I'll only show you a few here. Viz...

If I remove my glasses and squint real hard, I can almost believe I'm there... ;-) (7/09)

Beauty of Bamboo (7/09)

Can't have the Japanese vibe without a Bonsai tree. (7/09)

Fusion Bonsai: a bouganvillea tamed! Can you come do that at my house? (5/10)

Koi Polloi (5/10)

Today was the second Tiny Adventure: going to Encinitas on a mission to find a pair of eco-friendly red votive candles for my altar. I did, at one of my fave metaphysical boutiques, Soulscape.
Not too far away is another haven for complete relaxation and replenishing, the SRF Meditation Gardens. I seem to see something new every time I go there. I've gushed about them before, so I won't show off the gazillion pics I've taken there, too - but in case you've missed it, here's a wee sliver of their yummy delights...
By the main entrance (5/10)

Hanging basket at the top of the steps. (5/10)

On a side path. (5/10)

At the Koi Pond. (5/10)

Next Tuesday, it will be a return to Balboa Park and the Natural History museum to salivate over, and commune deeply with, some rocks and gemstones. I'll see if I can figure out how to disable the flash on my camera so I can take decent pix and post them here! :-)

I look forward to the adventures that lie before me, both the small and the large ones. Ho.

Tending the Dreaming Garden

2010-05-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

A knot to untangle. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

Between the planting of the seeds and the harvest of the fruit, there is the work to be done to tend the garden, redirecting animals who would be pests and plants who would be weeds to forage and sprout elsewhere. Tending the garden requires patience and care, as I feed my dreams with love and water them with support.

Progress is made. I can see places that are growing. I have spontaneously sorted and filed away images that I use in my collaging. I have found new cyberspaces to play in (Hello Facebook! Badge to manifest eventually). I am micromoving my way through clearing out my little storage shed; though I haven't come to the Really Challenging Part of that adventure yet, with the support of my peeps, I'll get the shed much emptier.

Remember when I mentioned that I'd found I was really good at hiding?
Well, that part of me that Wants to Hide recently resurfaced in my awareness.
I call her the "Kept Woman," because that's what she wants to be: kept safe and secure and hidden, regardless of the cost to herself. She is willing to sacrifice all of her power, dreaming, creativity, and anything that would "turn off" another in order to be loved. Yes, she is all too ready to submit.
Lovely little archetype to Work with, eh?

That's what she is: an archetype that is embedded deeply in the Collective Feminine...an archetype that I have agreed to Work with. My mission is to Love her, myself, into security and safety - so I don't need to submit to anyone else.
Once I am recentered, my movement in the current becomes effortless; as I heal My*Self, so I heal the Collective Feminine. No Working in a vacuum, here!

As this Summer promises to be the Most Radically Transformative Summer ever, damn skippy I'm going to take advantage of the lightning-strike's energy. Make me every dynamic in the evening air...!

From Beltaine, with Love...

2010-05-08T16:57:00.001-07:00

Colorful banners welcoming in the Summer. Escondido, 5/10

I refilled my cup & replenished my energy, last weekend at Beltaine.
First was a visit to Questhaven, and a walk in their marvelous labyrinth...
(Labyrinth with a view. Questhaven, 12/09)

From there, I went to the Goddess Temple for their Sabbat ceremony. Suffice to say it was delicious! :-q I luxuriated in my sensory perceptions and jumped a bale-fire to declare my intentions to spread my Light further in the world!

Sunday was another gathering of goddesses, at the Goddess Studio, which is on the property of one of my good friends, Miss Amalya...
She has lots of beautiful statuary like this!

With my sisters, I walked a second labyrinth (on Amalya's property) and welcomed in Summer, as I held a ribbon of the central Maypole.

We hand-painted silk scarves - kata - to wear during ceremony, or just when we want to remember our Goddess Within :-)

I always love attending Amalya's events, because my inner child gets to come out and create.
You can learn more about her and her Sacred Work here. If you look very carefully, you may even find a pic or two of me there! :-)

Every year, I feel myself expand with the return of the long warm days...time to put away the sweaters and break out the skirts - time for lots of fun COLOR in the wardrobe!
The dragon within spreads her wings and emerges from her cave, soaking up the sun's heat before she leaps from the cliff's edge and takes flight! :-)

May Summer bring you many fun playdates and much deep transformation! HO!

Anticipating Summer's GROWTH!

2010-04-30T00:04:00.000-07:00

It really wasn't that long ago that I felt like I was floating in the Void before Creation, waiting for something to nudge me in a direction, any direction. Well, now I'm significantly moving! :-D

I know part of the reason I was floating was because I needed to get my blerking sleep cycle straightened out again! Seriously, I went from working evenings to doing graveyard/overnight shifts, then finished my stint by doing BOTH in the same week for a few weeks! Then, after I left the answering service, I had just enough time to gather myself together before flying to the East Coast for a week - hello Time Zone Change! Ye Gods - it's taken me most of the rest of this month to figure out whether I was coming or going!
Memo to Self: I'm NOT 21 anymore and am getting further away by the DAY! (lol)

Another part of the reason has come to light as I've been doing the "Dream Boogie" course. I find that I've become very good at Hiding in Plain Sight. I've been doing a little bit here, a wee smidge there, but I really haven't put any major effort into full-filling this dream of mine, of BEING the Shamanic Priestess who shares her Luminosity with the world. In a sense, I've been fibbing on my Profile...I've heard the Call to DO, but I've been dragging my feet in completely heeding it. I've been too hung up on (gasp!) What Other People, especially those who are related to me by blood, Might Think If They Knew Who I Really Was. In other words, I've been afraid of being Judged, and Rejected. The Shadows that I've been dancing with of late go way back, and they're very familiar to me.

However.
This shape is shifting dramatically.
I'm beginning to take the helm in significant measure.

For several years, even before I was first inspired by the Call to Be the Priestess, I've been toying with the idea of working temporary jobs - jobs that only last a few weeks or months, where I can earn some money, yet space these jobs out in between my "Real" Work. Since I've returned to myself, if you will, I'm taking steps to become a free-agent-for-hire...and this time, I'm vowing to Stay On This Path. If I have learned nothing from my last job, it's that I need the idea of I don't have to do this "forever" in order to stay SANE in the muggle world. ;-)
While I'm running that gameplan, I'm also taking a fresh look at what I've done AS the Priestess, to see if I can shift my approach. Lo, I think I've come up with it! I am refocusing myself, in this moment, to be a Reader (with non-Tarot oracle decks, at the moment). It's something that comes to me very easily, I am charged by it, as opposed to being drained by it, and I have everything I need NOW to get out and strut my stuff!

So I'm plotting and planning. I'm making new connections in new arenas and arranging my presentations. I'm moving again - just in time for Beltaine, the start of Summer, which is this weekend! Needless to say, I am Very Excited, and have every confidence that my dreams will Manifest in ways that completely support and fulfill and astound me! :-D

My time is NOW...and it's about time! (lol)

Political Post: "Beyond" Earth Day

2010-04-24T23:42:00.000-07:00

{Disclaimer: now and again I'm going to comment on what's going on in the greater world. This is a "political post" and I'm expressing my opinion. This is my opinion only; agree or not as you choose. Be advised as well that while disagreement is perfectly expected and acceptable, venemous responses will be deleted. Now, onto the post.}

It's been more like "Earth Week" than "Earth Day," but amidst all the hoopla surrounding this occasion, a few ideas have been nibbling at the edges of my conscious awareness, which refuse to stay in my head any longer. So...

The news flash for all of the environmentalists and eco-activists: Believe it or not, Grand/Mother Earth, Gaia, Pachamama, however you wish to name Her, is not going to go "belly up" anytime soon. The idea that we as a species could do so much damage to Her as to destroy Her is laughable, if you look at the Big Picture. The asteroid that crashed into Her 65 million years ago did far more damage than anything we could ever do! Sure, it would take Her a few million years to heal Herself, should we happen to obliterate ourselves in our attempt to evolve beyond our Shadows, but She Would Do It - then offer another species the same opportunity to evolve.
As to which species would take up the challenge? Dolphins, chimpanzees, elephants, maybe even cockroaches...my money, though, is on the cephalopods - the octopus & squid. In their case, they'd consider land "The Final Frontier" - !

So what exactly is going on?
Well, depending on who you ask, She's either rebirthing Her*Self or entering Menopause. I find myself resonating more with the latter theory; then again, I'm bypassing Motherhood altogether in this lifetime (ooh, there's a juicy future topic for discussion!) and may be a bit biased. ;-)
There is, however, something that IS out of whack and needing to be fixed - not our planet, but our relationship to Her.
The Native American people often speak of being "in Right Relationship" with each other and with the Earth...and in truth, some of the human "tribes" have not been in Right Relationship with Her for millennia. We've been engaged in taking-taking-taking and not giving back in equal measure; instead, we've been giving back garbage, literally!

It's not the Earth that's in danger of being destroyed - it's humanity's ability to live and thrive on the Earth that's endangered. We don't need to save Her as much as we need to save Ourselves. No one and no*thing else is going to do the Work that needs to be done.
It starts with the individual. It starts with you - and with me.

So we look within ourselves, shift out of Fear and into Love, one Shadow at a time. We Awaken from the Nightmare of the Grand Illusion and return to our roots - return to the Grand/Mother. As we heal ourselves, we heal our relationships with each other. As we heal our relationships with each other, we heal the planet. Right Relationship is restored.
If we put as much effort into healing ourselves and each other as we seem to be doing to destroy ourselves and each other, Earth Day would be every day - and it would truly be a Celebration!

So what's it going to be, my friends? Submit to the Grand Illusion of "gloom and doom" or see beyond it to what's really going on, and acting accordingly?
Or, to borrow the question from The Matrix: Are you going to take the blue pill, or the red one?

(ps - I took the red pill) ;-)

"Whenever you're ready, darling..."

2010-04-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

When I see the crow, I know to keep my eyes open for Opportunity. @Home, 7/09

Sometimes the door swings open in front of me, but it takes me a moment or two to notice it, and a moment or two more to walk through it...

Two days before I posted about my very clean slate, I listened in on a teleclass with SARK, the artist also known as Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy. It was her first "Dream Boogie" teleclass, and she was offering it for free.
Free schmoozing with SARK? Say no more, dahlink! (lol)
So I listened. I even briefly participated. And I thought that would be the sum total of my experience.
The Universe had other ideas, apparently...

It took me a total of three days to realize that Serendipity and Synchronicity, those two sly Divine ninja sisters, had delivered to me yet again that which I was needing at just the right moment. The reason it took so long for me to wake up and smell the roses this time around was the cost for this particular course...a little more than what I'd paid for other e-courses in the past.
But the excitement that bubbled up in me from the teleclass wouldn't go away, not entirely. And after I did the math - oh hey, that wasn't such a bad price after all. So on the night of the 17th, I took a teeny little leap of faith and signed up for the class.

It's already producing dividends:
I'm finding a few issues that need some addressing, and some gentle breaking down and moving through.
I'm making a whole slew of new friends who are also wanting some nurturing of their dreams, and reconnecting with some "older" friends as well.
I'm letting my inner artiste out to play - I've been writing answers to questions with a Red pen! Love it! And I've broken out my Blue, Green, and Purple pens to play with as well! (which gives me an opportunity to play with COLOR on this blog! Hee!) ;-)

I am feeling very good about the next few weeks coming up; I feel like I'm going to be expanding into being this Whole Soul, reintegrating old dreams with new possibilities, and getting back on track. Just what the witch doctor ordered! (lol)

I am very thankful that the Universe is patient with me, when I need a little extra time to take off the blinkers and SEE what is right in front of me!
Onward, omnes!

How clean IS my slate?!

2010-04-16T16:02:00.000-07:00

A flower in bloom that is keeping me company. @Home, 4/10

Flowers have been speaking to me lately...flowers in bloom.
They've made their way to my collages - my eye has been drawn to select them, trim the excess paper from them, paste them onto posterboards.
The little flower above had been separated from its mother plant; I rescued it and gave it some water to drink. The stem has straightened out, so it's blooming straight up right now, but it hasn't faded yet. :-)
I've also had the pleasure of seeing and smelling roses in bloom on my way to and from my mailboxes. Roses and lotuses - two of my favorite flowers. Each speaks to me in different ways: roses represent the Divine Feminine for me, specifically in the aspect of Mary, the Blessed Mother & Wife. Lotus is the energy of rising above the muck and blooming anyway; it carries more of Quan Yin's energy. (As Mary and Quan Yin are often associated with each other, though, perhaps it's really the same way both flowers speak to me. Things that make me go hmm...)

The flowers are speaking to me significantly in this moment because I feel like I'm blooming, after a long cold Winter...blooming as I float gently in the Void before Creation. And like the flower, there's no real agenda, no pressing cosmic "to-do" list lurking in the back of my mind - just be*ing in the process of opening up, spreading petals wide, and soaking in the energy of the sun...which feels totally alien and foreign to me. Not in a bad way, mind you, but this is definitely a new flavor of experience!

As I've transitioned out of my "old" life and allowed everything to realign within me post-Soul Retrieval, I've come to realize something significant is no longer present in my personal modus operandi. I can see how I used to operate from a very polarized vision of life; I was very much a "this-or-nothing" woman when I spun out my dreams and attached expectations to them.
I was creating my role as a Priestess in the world - but I wouldn't be able to realize my dreams fully unless and until I had relocated to a different part of the country, maybe even a different country altogether! I felt I needed to run away from where I am to a utopian place "out there" before I could allow myself to manifest my dreams to their fullest extent...and I didn't realize how deeply that need to run away was rooted within me until I woke up recently and noted its absence!

I note that I have loosened my grip and unclenched my hands. No longer am I resisting the Present Moment, what is around me Right Now; I see that I can do the necessary Work of being a Priestess here, where I am now, just as well as I can anywhere else...and that's a very good thing! :-)
Yet with shifting out of the polarity, I seem to have misplaced my ambition. The tension that ultimately served to sabotage me also sustained me in my creativity; as I've released the tension and relaxed into the Void before Creation, my need to DO the Work has evaporated.
So now I pause and wonder: how does someone who is so content just to BE find the inspiration and motivation to DO, and fulfill her destiny? Where does the flower find its motivation to create the sweet nectar that will entice the bee to come and pollinate?

I gently ponder these questions under the aegis of the new moon, as she begins her latest journey of waxing to fullness. Perhaps I will follow her lead... :-)

deja vu

2010-04-11T21:45:00.001-07:00

Standing at the gateway to something new. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

I believe I've been in this place before...like in February of 2007, when I started this blog, just after I left the synagogue that had employed me for several years.

What's the same?
I left a job that had turned sour for me.
The future is wide open; a clean slate lies before me.
I'm not exactly sure what will happen next.

And, as before I had an adventure to step into. Said adventure has since transpired and I have returned from it. This time, I only traveled across the country, not around the world, but I might as well have gone global for the journey that unfolded before me! Details to follow shortly, promise.

So what's different this time around?
I have a support system now that I didn't have in 2007.
I have an idea of what needs to be done, but no set agenda, or timetable for getting things done.
I have a serene confidence within me that everything is fabulous and will work out for the best.
That serene confidence - that's the big shift for me. That's the result of all the Work that I've done since my initial jumping off into the Void, especially since the start of 2009.

Now it's simply a matter of seeing what transpires, and what falls by the wayside.
Now it's opening up to whatever comes my way, and/or wherever the Winds of Change blow me to.
Now...I observe, and create, and marvel at what I see and bring forth.
There is no rush, no judgment - only Presence.

The journey begins anew...Now.

honoring mom :-)

2010-03-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

I've written briefly about my dad and my grandmother, who have both passed on.
I've only touched upon my mother in passing.
It's high time to rectify that.
This is my mother. Today is (soon to be was) her birthday.
She can make me laugh long and loud. She can also drive me completely crazy. ;-)

We don't always agree on life and all that's in it. She thinks I've got my head a bit too high in the clouds; I think she could take off the Lenses of Lack and see things as they truly are. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle.
Having said that, the fact that my mother and I talk with each other on a regular basis, let alone live together - in this day and age, with mothers and daughters so estranged, that's saying something.

The daybook I'm going this year through talks about honoring my parent/s, considering what they've taught me. So what has my mother taught me?

She has taught me compassion, generosity, patience.
She has inspired me to go past my limitations, when she cannot.
Most of all, she has shown me that when a woman must carry on, against seemingly overwhelming odds, she can...and will.

Happy Birthday, Mom. :-)

Signs of Spring ~ a picture post

2010-03-25T21:26:00.000-07:00

I wanted to show Spring arriving in Southern California...especially for anyone who might be challenged, in one way or another, in seeing the miracles unfolding around them every day at this time. So, without further ado...

~The first new leaves on a tree~

~Tender tendrils of ivy~

~Lovely delicate flowers~

~Brilliantly green clover~

~Pretty pink blossoms~

~Loquats ripening on the tree...they will be the very first harvest!~

~A spray of playful purple blooms~

~Mmmm, jasmine! I could bury my nose in this... ;-) ~

~Bird of Paradise flower...totally appropriate to where I live.~

May these pictures of Spring help thaw you out of your Winter... :-)

...and then she woke up :-)

2010-03-17T22:47:00.000-07:00

The promise has been kept, and delivered upon.

As the moon hid behind Her veil and restored Herself, I felt myself awakening, as from a long sleep...in this case, a Winter's nap.
Warm weather dances in Southern California at long last, gods be praised!

It has been three months since my Soul Retrieval. Lady~M said it would be that long before my new shielding took hold. For two and a half of those three months, I wore a citrine and clear-quartz necklace to give myself a little extra protection as things took root and shifted within me. When the necklace "fell off" the third time, that was my signal to take it off for good - I didn't need it anymore. As the third month came to graceful conclusion, something has taken hold, all right!

A switch has been flipped. I feel as though I've come home to myself after a long and interesting journey away, though I've been here all along. Most interesting.
So now I move through the endgame of my second tour of duty at the answering service; my last day will be next Friday. Great Mother, this point seemed SO far away when I began this nocturnal sojourn! Now I can not only see the light at the end of the tunnel, but also the end of the tunnel itself. Almost there! :-)

In between here and there is a yummy stop called Ostara - the Spring Equinox! Time to have a little fun!

Once again, Life Is Good. Praise the Mother and Her Crazy Children! (lol)

still afloat in the sea of overwhelm

2010-03-13T00:18:00.000-08:00

They who pray upon Grandmother Ocean's bosom. Encinitas, 11/09

This image speaks to me right now, where I am at.
I am floating on a vast sea, an overwhelming sea.
Sometimes the waves come, and I can ride them; other times, the waves knock me off my board, and I plunge into the water...yet I here I am, bobbing back to the surface once more.

Mother thinks it's because my internal timeclock is completely skewed by these graveyard shifts I'm working - fewer now than when I started, but I still need to make that shifting of my shape on Wednesdays. Friends of mine believe that the earth's energies are shifting, and that those who are in any way sensitive to those energies - like me, apparently! - will feel the push and pull as well. I also consider that there has been much death recently, in my "real-life" community and in my online one...people I knew, people connected to people I knew, tragic realities striking close to home.
I'm also one to embody energy from collectives, small and large, and express it through me: screaming and sobbing, as well as joyous and blissful. Again, a recent discovery.

Any of these things, in and of themselves, would serve to throw me off; ALL of these things add up to a much greater whole, looking like a vast sea of overwhelm!
My body even confirms this, with my uber-wonderful & intuitive massage therapist noting that my liver is swollen, overwhelmed by trying to keep me detoxed and healthy...confirmation that I am indeed pushed to my limits, on all levels.

One moment, I am pitched into the overwhelm, and it surges up within me and surrounds me and consumes me. So very tired and wrung out and BLAH, I am! But the next moment...
The next moment, I remember:
I remember that I am about two weeks away from leaving my job and moving up to the Next Level in my life.
I remember that I have a homecoming with my soul family, my beloved Lightworking Tribe, for Easter weekend. Rebirthing, indeed!
I remember that I have been through far worse, yet I am still here! Fall down seven times, rise eight. :-)
I remember that I have a few tricks up my sleeve, like milk thistle and broccoli and grapefruit juice to help my liver physically - like bloodstone and brown jasper to help me energetically - like finding the root of my anger and releasing it with "unsent letters" to help me emotionally!
Most of all, I remember how to find the amusing components in all of this turmoil and flux. Should I ever lose my sense of humor, run. fast. and far away, because that means the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (not of professional wrestling) are coming! ;-)

I'm just really happy that there's a New Moon on Monday, like Duran Duran sings about...and that Ostara, the Spring Equinox, will follow shortly thereafter - and in the meantime, we'll start getting some REAL springlike weather in Southern California! Laugh all you want, those who don't live here, but SoCal peeps are just not accustomed to polar winds blowing directly from Alaska! (It wouldn't surprise me if Sarah Palin had something to do with this. Just sayin')

As you can see, I've gotten back on my surfboard now, ready for another round.
Unlike the surfers above, though, I'm looking forward to calmer seas. Word.

Ceremony for the Departed

2010-02-28T23:08:00.001-08:00

As always, the crows attend me in my exploits. 2/10

One thing I have to keep in mind as a Shamanic Priestess: I must be ready for anything, at any time.
Just this Friday past, I learned the stunning news that two of my Internet friends has passed away rather suddenly and unexpectedly. Just because I may be more comfortable with the idea of death than some, and just because I can track rather well what is going on...these things don't necessarily make it easier for me when something like this happens. The ceremony to be performed, however, came together for me very quickly. Today, Sunday, I carried out an Honoringway for both of them.

First, a note to charge on my altar....
The names of my Net-friends are on the back of this paper. The strings of beads at the top of the photo are a pair of white necklaces, which I used as my offerings, as you shall see.

With a black boa draped around my shoulders (a gift from one of my now late Net-friends), I went to my destination: Kit Carson Park in Escondido.
It is a charming mix of cultivated park and unblemished Nature...

I caught sight of my ultimate destination soon enough: Queen Califia's Magical Circle, a massive sculpture garden by an artist named Nikki de Saint-Phalle. (I've had the spelling corrected. Thanks to my sister Nikki-phile!) ;-)
The Amazon Queen upon her mount, a crow alight upon her upraised hand...

The last time I had visited this place was when I had re-married myself, in 2004. Someday I may share that story...

The entrance to the massive sculpture garden.
What this doesn't show is all the people who were present on this day. I hesitated at first, then proceeded anyway. I can move like the fox when I need to, which is to say, barely noticed at all. ;-)

I was first drawn to this statue:
She spoke of rebirth to me - a feeling confirmed after I went around behind her and meditated briefly. When I looked up and beheld the symbol...well, it was a perfect photo-op!
I may be a pagan, but I get it when I see it! (lol)

It was a statue directly across the "courtyard" from my rebirth one that caught my eye next, as a perfect place to hang the necklaces I was wearing...
Two snakes, two necklaces...need I say more?
So, a little meditation on the sitting nook, and then the adornment:
Note the necklaces now hanging on the snakes. I fully expect some child, or children, will take them home eventually...and that will be just fine.

Queen Califia and her mount are at the center of the garden. Beneath the beast's feet is a sculpture of a large cracking egg, which is a fountain during certain times of the year. You bet your bippy I included the egg in my ceremony! ;-)
The egg-fountain, with the requiem-paper anchored atop it by a stone heart...which is filled with number-one good juju.

The space underneath the beast is like a cave unto itself, with hidden treasures...
One leg of the beast, with a weeping woman and a cross. Perfect symbology.

A second leg of the beast, with the offerings in the distance.

And the belly of the beast itself is a beautiful deep blue glass mosaic. A tiny sliver of it, providing a graceful conclusion to this chronicle of my ceremony:

Like the Shooting Star...
Here one moment,
Gone the next
(Perhaps too soon!)
But while you were here,
Ah! How beautiful
Ah! How Beauty*Full!

My blessings and love to all who were, and are, affected by the passings of these two brilliant stars in our firmament. As long as they live in our hearts, though, they will live forever.
A-ho.

So this must be Grace...

2010-02-15T07:28:00.000-08:00

In this state of Grace, my soul blooms like the sweet lotus. (Balboa Park, 7/09)

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. ~Lao Tzu

With the start of the new lunation, I find myself in an entirely new place...
It is a place of calm. Relaxation. Serenity. Beauty.
So this must be what Grace feels like.
I've had glimpses and moments of this sort of satori, but never with this profoundly grounded and centered and harmonious flavor - and it's not going away. I find myself continuing to expand into it, and vice versa.

The synchronicities have been rather lovely as of late...
~My Goddess for this season of Spring (as selected from Doreen Virtue's excellent Goddess Guidance Oracle deck) is Guinevere. "True Love" is her message. There was new moon drumming at the Goddess Temple this past weekend, and guess Who was featured? The very same Goddess! (lol) Had I not been still recovering & shifting, I would have attended, but my inner guidance was all for staying home, and I wasn't in a mood to argue. ;-)
~Lots of messages of LOVE have also been coming up in my radar, from the utterly juicy quote above to the trio of "love" videos that were recently featured at my online homebase. I have come into the Knowing of what it is to love another deeply, and receive that deep love in return. I am so very blessed and grateful; in expressing my gratitude, I receive even more blessings. I find myself being filled with warm fuzzies...and it feels delicious!

Not only am I deeply in love with myself, I find myself deeply loved by others. This is especially full*filling to me, for I once saw myself as "unlovable." That state of existence, fortunately, has long since vanished.

On another front, I officially have one more week of strictly overnight/graveyard to go. Then there will be a major shifting of schedules, and I will be "walking between the worlds," as it were: two days of interaction in my "old" shift, two of solitude in my new one.
One interesting thing has come out of my little nocturnal experiment: a few years ago, it would have been perfect, for I was very much in that "lone wolf" mode of operation. Since I have come home to myself in this last year or so, though, the graveyard life is not as good a fit. I miss my connections. I miss interaction. I do indeed wish to turn the "me" into "we" - and more, I feel that I am ready to do so. :-)

In my expansion, new seeds are placed into my hands. The time is here to plant them and see what sprouts...

epiphany's lightning-stroke!

2010-02-12T14:27:00.001-08:00

My friend Brian posted this picture on another site. I don't know where he got it from; you'll have to ask him.

It just so happens that epiphany hit me like a bolt of lightning last Sunday - just after my last post, in fact.
As the Soul Retrieval had healed my scar at its point of origin, I returned to that point and was considering being obliterated. I realized I had been, over and over again...but I was still here. I am still here. Right here, now.

Because there is a part of me that is pure Divine Source Energy ~ and that cannot ever be destroyed!
Any physicist will be able to confirm this for you: matter/energy cannot be created or destroyed; E=mc (squared) is a closed equation.
BOOM! the epiphany strikes me, and radiates outward through my body. Tears flow from my eyes...grateful relief. relieved gratitude.

From there, all my fears, doubts, hesitations, anxieties, worries - ALL of them - have been dissolving, like an ice cube in the summer sun. That handful of limiting beliefs I've been contemplating? GONE. Completely! :-o
For the first time in a very long time, maybe ever, I am fearless. I am as a Valkyrie riding with Lady Freyja through the starry sky!

Now, I'm not so naive as to think I'll never fear again. Ha. There will be times when I contract again, and feel small again, I'm sure. I would like to think, however, these will be new fears, instead of the SOS-DD I've been playing with. ;-)

Now comes the fun part: where to go from here! Hee...

Realignment

2010-02-07T23:05:00.001-08:00

On the way to an "unknown" destination. (Questhaven, 2/10)

After my Soul Retrieval in December, a journey came to a conclusion, yes...but a new journey has begun.

For the first lunation (lunar month) afterwards, I was concerned with doing as much nothing as I could get away with, and resting a LOT. Bringing home these last lost bits of soul meant revamping my entire structure; things within me moved, shifted, and pretty well changed to fit the new/old structure. It's new for me in this incarnation, but I'd be willing to bet money in Vegas that I'm simply returning to the structure I originally incarnated with, all those moons ago.

Now as the second lunation comes to a conclusion, I find the theme has been realignment. It's like I'm sorting through everything and saying, "okay, I'm keeping these things, I'm releasing those things, and the pile right in front of me is what I'm going to work my alchemical magick on before I determine whether or not I'm going to keep it."
The Universe is helping me out by removing me from my usual routine and flipping everything in my life around - that's how I'm choosing to see the whole "graveyard" experience, at any rate.
So I've been experiencing a few purges lately, and shifting radically between extremes: now feeling small and scared, now feeling big and confident. I've had a panic attack while driving through hail and I've felt completely at home in the middle of Nature's holy wilderness. Last night I was at the Goddess Temple, drinking in lovely energy...then had to stop on the way home to have a huge releasing episode in the ladies' room! (To circumvent tmi, I'll spare y'all the details.) ;-)

I thought at one point I'd clear everything up with my Soul Retrieval. Not necessarily.
I've cleared out the distractions to focus on what is holding me back - those beliefs which would still limit me and keep me small. I have a handful remaining, but all of them are centered around a central theme: If I allow my light to shine too brightly, I will be obliterated. This is the flaw that runs through the crystal - the fear of Judgment/Rejection/Mortality. This is my scar.

Pre-Retrieval, I had no idea where it came from, only that it ran deep. Post-Retrieval, the source of the scar was revealed, and healed. Now it's time to take the healing from the source and run it along the rest of the scar. I can do this. I must do this - for I'm not just doing this Work for me. I'm doing it for the Collective.

Let Persephone show me the way through the time of Darkness and Death, and back to the Light of Rebirth and Renewal...

...and everything She touches, changes

2010-01-29T21:43:00.001-08:00

This change is more external, quixotic, and very interesting...

I am taking on the overnight/graveyard shift at my place of work. I am a night person by nature, and having stepped into the pinch-hitting role a couple of times, felt I had the stuff I needed to do so. Plus, I get an immediate increase in my source of steady income - which never hurts!

So this is the start of an interesting little experiment: living the "Bizarro" life, as it were: my days are the night, my nights are the day. I get up as peeps are considering dinner and go to bed as they're considering (second) breakfast. This is going to last a couple of months, until the end of March. After that, I will be scooting across the country again for another helping of Beyond Awesome. When I return...that's up to the gods at this point. We'll see.

On the one hand, this threatens to shake up what little communication I do have (at times, it seems) and isolate me at a time when isolation is the last thing I'm looking for. On the other hand, this frees me up to have some more fun at night - provided I can get myself up early enough and sneak a nap in before I come into work. Whatever else, I shall emerge from this journey a total Nap Diva! (lol)

I have asked the owl for a bit of guidance and support as I align myself even more closely with the rhythms of the moon. Bella Luna. She will be my main guide through this journey, teaching me more of Her mysteries, sharing with me more of Her secrets. I look forward to the closer communion.

Right now, though, might be a good time to sneak one of those naps in, especially since my entry into the Moon Lodge appears immanent... ;-)

~Wisdom-Hairs and Winter Bellies~

2010-01-26T11:30:00.000-08:00

...or, more lessons in Self-Acceptance...

It's interesting, when I look at myself, what parts of myself I have no problems in accepting, and which parts I need to work on.

What I call "wisdom-hairs" most people would call gray hairs. As I close in on forty years of age, I notice more of them. I can see wee strands of silver in among the dark brown - and I think they're uber-cool. :-)
What really amuses me is the reaction other peeps have to my occasional silver strands, especially if they're the shorter "mutant" ones that refuse to grow out straight, and zigzag their way straight up from my head! I had one co-worker who begged me to allow her to pluck it out! After a few minutes, I managed to dissuade her in quite convincing fashion, and she never bugged me about it afterwards. My mother, on the other hand, continues to point them out, and offers to tweeze them for me...so I dissuade her a bit differently: "I can always shave my head if they get too numerous." That shuts her up for a few days/weeks. (lol)
In a sense, it's a sad commentary that such a natural part of experiencing life, and adding on the years, is so, what, feared in this society. It's a hair that no longer has color produced for it. So what! Will I have a head of silver hair in my crone years? Probably not; genetics kept most of my grandmother's hair dark until the day she drew her last breath, and my mother has very little gray as she draws her Social Security payments every month. It would be cool to be all silver, though...

But my "winter belly" provides a bit more of a challenge to my levels of self-acceptance.
My belly has grown a bit rounder in the time of stillness - as it should, because folks generally do less in the Winter than they do in the Summer. Add to that a bit less yoga as I've engaged in some serious navel-gazing and internal shapeshifting, and it comes as no real surprise that I have a belly. (All the self-divination I've done for myself indicate that I tend toward the zaftig, anyway!)
What is the surprise is now quickly my thoughts can turn negative when I regard myself: oh, you're going to gain back all the weight you lost, and then some! You're never going to be at a "healthy" weight; there is no such thing!
For the record, there's still "less of me" than there was at this time last year, and I have never been anorexic/bulimic in this lifetime. I despise vomiting, and starvation just makes me a queen bitch! - so the tendencies never took root.
But this just goes to show how deep, and how universal, the cultural conditioning has become, and how much Work remains to be done to uproot and toss this poisonous weed from my mind, and perhaps from the minds of many women, for good. So I still practice active lovin' on my belly, and rewriting the niggling little negatives as they arise in my psyche...reaffirming and drawing ever closer to total Self-Acceptance. I'm more than happy to share helpful hints, if anyone is interested. :-)

I guess the final lesson is that self-acceptance comes in layers, and by degrees...and that it's an ever-evolving, constantly growing process. :-)

Connection

2010-01-13T13:54:00.000-08:00

We can no longer go it alone, nor be alone, nor make anything happen by ourselves.
(Karen Bishop)

So here's another "touchstone" for me for this year.
I was commenting elsewhere about how I'd chosen consistency to be my word for this year, when I heard a soft "ahem" in the back of my mind. When I gazed inward, here was this second word for me to use.
Connection.

I had known already how I wanted to be with others, to bring a time of "solitude" to a conclusion. Just before Samhain, in fact, I had realized: I have done all the Work I can do on myself, for myself, by myself. If I am to grow any further, I need to find people and places who can nurture and support me, as I can nurture & support them in return. I need to weave a web of Interdependence, now.

Apparently that was a prayer of some sort, for the Universe has begun to answer it...
Just before Yule, I was finishing up my deep spiritual journey of Soul Retrieval at Questhaven, when I was joined by some unexpected new friends:
Smokey & Galahad, choosing to be my "escorts" as I walked the trail. 12/09
They both stayed with me until I had finished visiting my oak friend. :-)

Little synchronicities since then...talking with perfect strangers, finding new alliances at work, being invited to join - and joining - some more "Ning" sites...all are beginning to confirm the message I received as I transitioned from last year to this one: 2010 shall be the year "me" becomes "we."

What that will entail, I don't know in this moment.
As Divinity is in the details, I will embrace the unknown and allow Divinity to fill in the details. :-)

Consistency

2010-01-07T12:32:00.000-08:00

~I must be consistent in the Game of Life,
That Wisdom may finish what Knowledge did start.~
(Astarius)

This is my touchstone, my focusing word, for this year...for there are places in my life where I am anything BUT consistent, and I want to BE consistent in them!

I need consistency in my Yoga Practice. I fell off the wagon towards the end of the year as the Spiritual Work took precedence over the physical work. I know I need to do the yoga - my body feels SO much better and more open when I do it, as I reaffirmed last night! - yet fitting it into my patchwork schedule can be quite challenging. Lately, I haven't been meeting the challenge! So, here is the first "sub-resolution."

I need consistency in my Creativity. I started off last year quite well, thanks to Miss Leonie's Creative Goddess course (which is starting up again on the 17th, word to ze wise!) - and then, again, the Spiritual Work took over. I managed to keep my fingers in the creative flow, thanks to my participation in a project from one of my online circles...but it's not enough. More Artistic Creation opportunities, por favor, y gracias!

I need consistency in my Playtime! I managed to get myself out of the house for some tiny adventures, and took some gorgeous pix while I was out, and the fresh air that came with the change of scenery did me good. I am coming to realize, more and more, that these breaks from the routine are restorative to my soul...which needs a break now and again from the oh-so-serious Spiritual Work. (Hm, anyone else seeing the theme arising here? lol)

And last, but not least, I need consistency in my Greater Work. Not the "little w" work, that which provides me with a source of steady income; the "Big W" Work, being the shamanic priestess in my community and sharing my Wisdom & Magick with those who need it & are ready to receive it. I've dipped my toe in the water; I've waded in the shallow pool. Now I need to take it further and plunge into the deep end, sending out my ripples further in the pond.
I fully realize I needed to to the Work inside me before I could successfully do the Work around me, but I would like to think I've finally come to a place where I can now shift my focus! (Say I have, Mommy, pleeease!) ;-)

As I set this intention of consistency, I fully realize that I'll falter, get distracted, detour way off the path, come back to center, start again, start over, and hit the snooze button every now and then. (dude, five more minutes, that's all I'm asking!)
May I have the grace to forgive myself as often as necessary and proceed down the path anyway, trusting that the Mystery is unfolding with Divine Perfect Timing. :-)

...and here we are, in the New Year, at last

2010-01-03T00:22:00.000-08:00

Blue Moon framed in the Rotunda at City Hall, Escondido. 12/09

At the tail end of Yuletide, as I summarized in my latest Tweet, my voice is changing.
It started on Wednesday, actually, when I had all I could take of the crappy day I'd been having, so I got into the car and screamed...and it was the first real scream that had emerged from me in many years.
See, pre-Soul Retrieval, I hadn't been able to let out a full-throated scream since I was a child; post-Retrieval, Lady M. had advised me she'd done a quick healingway on my throat. When I screamed on Wednesday, a circuit was finally reconnected, and a Shadow was chucked out.
After the scream, I "lost" my higher registers in my voice, and I had difficulty in singing. Full Voice I could not carry. The higher registers are returning, though, so I suspect the depth will as well; then I'll have Full Voice again. But some edge seems to be dissolving...

At the tail end of Yuletide, I worked a six-day week. New Year's Eve in particular was challenging, as Coyote totally had his way at my workplace (The Scottish folk call him "Murphy" - yep, it was a Murphy's Law day!) So that was the warning when I saw two of them running down the street one night early on in the Yuletide season!
After that hard a slog, it was time to go chillax, literally, at a party. So I did.
First Night awaited me, and did not disappoint.
I found myself something to eat: peppery fried rice with tofu & veggies, and a veggie eggroll. No hot dogs & funnel cake for this pagan! ;-) Hot chocolate was for dessert - delicious, even if I scalded most of my mouth in the process! (lol)
The main event for me, and for a lot of other peeps: a Namrock concert. Viz:
Not quite my cup of tea, but it was a very nice change of pace from what I used to listen to!

Throughout much of the concert, my attention was focused on this one gentleman to the left of the stage, dancing and dervishing along with the music. I was completely captivated by him; he made the experience that much more enjoyable for me, just by losing himself in his joy and expressing it openly. I thanked him after the concert was over for his beautiful dancing.

I went home before the midnight fireworks, truth be told, because I was compelled to set off some "fireworks" of my own. I danced in the new year in the privacy (and warmth!) of my living room, bringing in my vision for the New Year into material form through the sacred movement of my own body. I did my own version of dervishing, I suppose!

With the dawning of this day, Yuletide having reached its graceful conclusion, I breathed a sigh of relief. I am safely arrived in 2010, as are we all. Huzzah.

Ringing in the New with Blue Moon Magick!

2009-12-30T12:23:00.000-08:00

We've got a wonderful opportunity to kick-start 2010 and our desires to manifest what we really want with the full blue moon at the gate between the old and new years.

Basically, the energy of the full moon is used to catalyze and add energy to whatever you wish to manifest into your life. A blue moon is the second full moon in a calendar month. As blue moons happen roughly every other year, its energy is extra potent.

The blue moon is going to hit its peak at 7:15pm GMT on 12/31. (This works out to 11:15am PT, 2:15pm ET, on 12/31 in North America. It will be New Year's Day in Australia.) From my personal experience, I have found that there is a window that opens 24 hours before the peak time and closes 24 hours after the peak time when the energy is at its most potent.

During this time, why not choose the dream you most want to manifest and concentrate on it. Give it your full attention; visualize it in as much detail as you can. Affirm and claim this dream as yours, then release it into the Universe as you see fit.

Now is the Time;
This is the Hour.
We have the Magick;
We are the Power!

Let us use our power to dissolve all obstacles and step into our true lives! HO! :-D

swimming below the hoopla @ yuletide

2009-12-24T23:31:00.001-08:00

After the Solstice, the Light begins to return, a tiny spark in the thick dark Night...

Many peeps have their big celebration today and tomorrow. Many others had it about two weeks ago with their Festival of Lights. I fall somewhere in between; these days, I'm all about the Winter Solstice, and Yule.
Some years I gladly dance and prance about in celebration. This year, it's been very low-key. I think the Soul Retrieval has recentered me, and now I see the world rushing around like a collective chicken with its collective head cut off and I blink in bemusement, before I go rejoin Grandmother Bear in her cave, and step back into the Dreamtime.

I find myself these days very quiet, very contained, but not at all afraid or anxious.
I have just finished catching up with my bestie Maitri's blog, and I thought about reaching out, to say I was swimming below the hoopla with her. Then I grabbed that thought and pulled it back down to me before it had a chance to float off, because that sounds so perfect!
This is exactly what I'm doing...I see the lights and hear the songs and nibble at the food (Great Mother, has there been a LOT of food! I'm very thankful to have a low sugar tolerance at this point, because as a foodie, this time of year has been Big Trouble to me in the past! As it is, I have a "winter belly" and am in resistance to that, now and again - but I'll save that for later) ...yet it's as if I'm following the deeper current through Winter, allowing all the glitz and merriment to glide above and around me, as I carry myself close and marvel at being a Whole Soul once more, for the first time in a Very Long Time. Born anew~born again. I'm getting the holly-jolly I need by osmosis this year.

So I swim below the hoopla, aiming for the lights around New Year's Eve, when Yuletide winds up with a bang, literally, in shows of fireworks. I will be out & about this year, bundled up against the cold and ready to experience the magick of 2010.
I know already: this is going to be a Year of Awesome for me. If I don't check in between now and 1/1, may it be a Year of Awesome for you and yours as well.
Peace out, yo.

Third Birth

2009-12-18T22:58:00.000-08:00

(Blooming lotus flower. SRF Gardens, 7/09. Photo by moi.)

1971: A petite woman is in the hospital, trying her best to birth a "normal-sized" baby. The doctors are monitoring her closely. They suddenly notice the baby is in distress. They make an instant decision to go get the baby.
Thusly did I come into the world as Julius Caesar is supposed to have entered it...they cut mom open and pulled me out. (now you know why it's called a caesarian section!)

1999: A woman enters a park close to her home, a park that is partly cultivated, but mostly "feral." She wanders about with her walking-stick until she finds a tree besides a slow-moving stream. She plants the end of the walking-stick among the tree's roots, and sits at its base. She reads aloud a statement she found in a book about Wicca, then adds her own words. She sits in silence before and after she speaks aloud. Then she leaves, seemingly unchanged. ;-)
Thusly did I dedicate myself to following the ways of Grandmother Earth and Grandfather Sky, and chose to adopt a new spritual path, after free-floating for several years outside the comfy confines of the scientific laboratory. Little did I know where this path would lead me...!

2009: A woman drives up to a house decorated for Christmas. She rings the bell and is greeted by a shamanka she recently (re-)connected with. The two women go out into the backyard, into a screened-in space. The first woman talks; the second woman listens. Then she uses her rattle and goes on a journey into the Dreamtime, while awake. She tracks down three "lost" pieces of soul, which she brings back and blows into the first woman's body. She relates the stories of these three pieces, and the other Work she did in the astral. The first woman cries, and smiles, and nods. Eventually, they return to the home and part ways, for now...
This is the barest sketch of what happened when I visited Lady~M. and had my Soul Retrieval experience. In truth, I don't feel a whole lot different, but that's only because I've done so much Work on my own. I have, however, noticed that I look different - I seem to be a bit softer, a bit more femme, when I behold my own reflection.
Also, when I was out walking today, I also felt the difference in my energy: the crazy patchwork of sometimes conficting shielding that had surrounded me was gone; stripped away, with full permission. Now, there is an openness, yet I'm still very solid and protected.

On some levels, the Work is now done. On others, it has just begun. (again.) ;-)
Let the shape shift subtly, yet let the result be profound...